A little Saturday drive....

When my church announced that it was time to plan for our yearly picnic I was excited - finally we are going to get out into the community we were envisioned to serve. I wondered how we would do this given our tight budget and was already thinking of cheap ways of making the day extra fun. People were going to get back about where exactly this picnic would take place. I pictured this:



I imagined that we might be a fun crowd that made others in the park feel welcome to join us and the kids in soccer and hot dogs.

The first suggestion for a place came the next week. Darrien Lake. I had to think about this - I know about the one in the States but is there a little lake in Toronto? Apparently not as it was discussed that going to the States would be hard for people without passports. Passports?! For a picnic? Then it was discussed that we would go to Marineland. Prices are from 32 for youngsters and 39 for teens and adults (minus 5 bucks each for group rate). How we are going to get there I'm not sure. Who is paying I'm not sure - especially since the church was originally understood to be affiliated with a low income neighbourhood. Are we inviting people from the neighbourhood? I'm not sure. I have a thousand questions!

Oh My! A REAL Christian Station

A Christian radio station that refuses to play pop Christian tunes. This is not a station for those unfamiliar with faith!

Anyhow can you see in the picture below see the little praying skeleton in the upper left hand screen? Very cute....read on for their self description.




Pirate Christian Radio is an online radio station that is free from the scurvy plagues of pop-psychology, goofy fads, self-help, pietism, purpose-drivenism, the prosperity heresy, contemplative mysticism, seeker-sensitivism, liberalism, relevantism, Emergent nonsense, and the sissy girly Oprah-fied religiosity that is being passed off as "Biblical Christianity"..

This station proclaims "Christ crucified for our sins" and exalts and defends THE historic Christian faith.

If you're looking for "Biblical Principles" that will improve your financial situation, help you raise happier children or have a more fulfilling sex life then you're NOT going to like Pirate Christian Radio.

But, if you are looking for Christian programming that is truly Christ Centered and proclaims the good news of Christ's death and resurrection for your sins, then you will find Pirate Christian Radio to be a refreshing stream of living water that quenches the thirst of your soul.

Good Friday - two services

We went to two services. One at our new church and another at our old church to keep up with our friends.

The first service was a bit annoying because they moved the time forward a full hour and a half. If you weren't there the day they announced it you wouldn't likely know. One of the worship singers didn't know so showed up an hour late.

The service itself was wonderful - there was lots of time for reflection and contemplation and it moved very slowly. Some of the elements like announcements and passing the peace (which normally takes 10 minutes as we all greet every person and chat) were removed so we could be quiet. Some parts were annoying - like the Powerpoint which was out of order again with some lyrics missing. There is a beautiful song with one lyric "Jesus remember me when you come into your kingdom". It reflects the robber on the cross that says this at the crucifixion. It is an incredible statement of faith and the answer from Christ is that they will both be in paradise before the day ends. It is one of the shortest confessions of sin with an understood response. Its sung over and over again the, rising and falling. But the person leading missed the lyric and sang "Jesus remember me when I come into your kingdom" Because it wasn't on the Powerpoint almost all people sang it that way. Its a small thing but these things bother me - I'm picky that way. Now if we were a church that did tons of other things in addition to worship I would be less picky. But worship is the key thing that we spend our time on.

Now to contrast the afternoon service was technically excellent. There was a violinist and they brought in a solo vocalist. We knew that the church's worship is a little higher brow then we like but we thought we were prepared for it. There were two beautiful songs that are based on black spirituals. You can imagine them being sung in the fields. One of them sings about how Christ never said a word against his accusers while being crucified. I can imagine the context of singing this as a slave with no voice - no authority over their own lives. Its a strong image. It was a corporate song - you sang it as a group. But when you take the song and have a soloist perform it it becomes another experience. By the time we had been there an hour it felt like a performance. C admitted that 20 minutes in he was finished. It bothers me because I like to believe that I can worship anywhere in any way. There were moments for me when I connected but I just don't get anything out of watching someone sing. It made me wonder how many people are totally disconnected and bored when I preach (or when anyone preaches for that matter). How do I learn how to worship in any situation?

After all is said and done I found that I had connected with the morning service so well - despite the hiccups. And I also remember my friends who have little choice in where they worship or the style they see. We are spoiled that we can be so picky!

Christ is Dead!

A rather shocking title don't you think. In some traditions Christians on Easter Sunday will greet each other with "Christ is risen!!" with the response "He has risen indeed!". It makes sense that the first thing you would say to another is this amazing fact - how could anything else come into your mind?

But on Good Friday we recognize Christ's death but we don't shout about it. But maybe we should. If Christ didn't die then he didn't arise - and if he didn't rise from the dead then we are in a lot of hot water. God would be pretty angry with us for following Jesus if in fact he wasn't the Messiah. And considering what we have done in Christ's name - which is shameful enough - we would truly be cursed.

I couldn't stand it when people on the bus or the subway would sit next to me and say "Jesus loves you". I wonder how I would have felt if people on the Saturday after Good Friday sat down and said "Christ is dead" with a big grin on their face. That's the thing. I would be just as uncomfortable with that statement! Its not that non-Christians have a problem with "Jesus loves you" so much as they have a problem with anyone coming and pushing their viewpoint on them while travelling somewhere. It's like "Do you have life insurance?", "Abortion kills" or "Do you have the time?". The last one is directed at Torontonians - the first reaction is wide eyed fear until they hear that all they are being asked to do is look at their watch!

Which reminds me. After moving here my brother and I were walking with my father down Yonge Street near Dundas. This women walks out of a doorway and asks by brother for the time. He stops to answer and my father grabs him and says "He's only fifteen!". He was laughing as he told us that she didn't want the time but his time! I'm still not convinced she was a hooker. My brother is good looking but he didn't have the look of having a dime!

The Answer is Moops!

In a great Seinfeld episode there is an argument as the answer for a Trivial Pursuit question is supposed to be "Moors" but reads "Moops". George, being George, refuses to accept the correct answer.

Can you imagine playing Trivial P. with someone who remembers that she was cheated by her family of a correct answer over 20 years ago! That would be my mother who insists that in answering the question what does SNAFU stand for insisted that it was "Situation Normal, All Fouled Up". Well the answer didn't use the polite "fouled" and she insisted that this was the correct version of the term. Being a military brat I had heard this term used many times with the proper f word. I would have credited it to her if she simply didn't want to use the rude word - but she insisted the game makers were wrong.

I had forgotten about this until tonight - when she again argued that "thousands of her friends" know that it is "fouled up". Apparently everyone growing up in the 50's knows this.

There are reasons why I don't go for games of intelligence with my mother. She can't stand being wrong or worse being wrong when someone else is right!

See Your Child Speak Hebrew!

Hebrew Sessions for All Ages- See your child speak Hebrew! (Toronto)

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Date: 2010-03-15, 8:25AM EDT
Reply to: comm-qa4je-1644702850@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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Going to Israel? Come to me for Conversational HEBREW Lessons

Hmm, perhaps Hebrew sign language!

Preaching on Easter

Funny, non-ordained people don't normally get to preach on Easter but this year I've gotten the (last minute) offer. All the other "real" pastors are busy so I'm up. I'm happy to get an opportunity. I have a feeling I know the topic already! When you think about it maybe the less experienced should get the obvious dates - Christmas, Easter, Good Friday.

Dead Squirrel Lamp

Friday, March 12, 2010

Dead Weight

Come be dead weight.

Looking for a 300lbs+ patient actor

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We're developing new tools to help nurses in lifting a moving patients. We want your input on some new mechanical lifting devices designed for lifting/transfering heavier people. Your role would be to act as an unconscious patient in a bed while you are lifted our of a bed into a wheelchair using a mechanical lift device and to tell us how comfortable you find the process. The session should take about 2 hours and we can pay you $25/hour.

I've been looking for some part time hours on Craigslist. Unfortunately I'm not heavy enough for this one. I wonder how many people applied? What kind of release do you have to sign - I'm not sure I want to be the guinea pig for testing out this equipment. And do you have to be an actor who is patient? 50 bucks is still 50 bucks though!

God Has a Sense of Humour??

I was bemoaning the fact yesterday that I have been unable to find a church that wants to take me on in a serious way as an intern. I offer my time and my talents but churches seem to be stuck that they can't figure out what to do with this.

At first I was taking it personally. But now I realise it is some sort of church thing. Its like apathy i guess. They are in a certain place and to make use of free work requires visioning and decision making.

Even at the church I am at now where we can only afford a pastor to come for one week a month there is a lack of movement. There was excitement when we moved our membership but really we have not seen any opportunities to serve and the bare minimum is barely getting done.

Yesterday I went to the ordination of someone I know who has been waiting for over 20 years for this day. It was very exciting! When I got home there was a message from a pastor who had seen my resume and wanted to chat. It was late so I didn't get a hold of him but checked out his church on the web.

Oh My! He is looking for three positions: Associate Pastor, Worship Director and Administrative Assistant. I have a feeling he is not offering me either of the first two. The list of job duties is very long. It is a Pentecostal church which requires evidence of tongues which I don't have. Also the only Scripture quoted is 1 Cor which talks about appropriate dress. Basically if you dress "too flashy or sexually" you will be fired.

Its a one man show. There is worship and Bible studies in homes. So its basically a church plant. After looking at all of the requirements and duties there is no way I could take the Associate position in good faith even if it were offered - things like plan 3 mission trips a year - one in Toronto, one in Ajax and one outside of the country. Very high expectations for a very short time period. Here is the joke part - you get a quarterly review within the first six months (I had to have C explain what on earth that meant) at which point you are assessed and a salary will be discussed - if the church has grown large enough. So all three positions have this stipulation - we'll pay you once we get enough people. Did I mention that one of the requirements is that you must tithe to the church?

I went from feeling really excited to wondering what God thinks? Is this a sense of humour that there are things worse then not having somewhere to serve? Or is this just pointing out that there are places to serve but I'm not willing to go? Honestly, I could plant a church with lower expectations with a better chance of success. You just can't call people up randomly from a resume site and build a team. Especially 3 positions at once.

Anyhow, I'll let you know what happens next!!