It's Been Years!

I hate blogging because it seems very narcissistic.  I mean what's the point?  Either I think I'm insightful or funny enough to be read by others or I'm doing it just because it is easier than talking to myself.   But i just had to get off of Facebook for a while because the level of frustration as people post stuff and dealing with a friend of C's that just posts all tons of fake news and sexist and racist comments without the ability to engage.  I'd block him but that seems wrong.

I'm bored.  I'm frustrated at work because there is so much I could do but lukewarm reception to any of it.  The standards are pretty low too.

Church is boring because right now is summer and every one goes away so there is nothing really going on except for stuff I try to manage like the garden.  I'm ready for challenge and transformation or at least a discussion.  It was good to preach though.

Gotta make some chicken nuggets so I resist the temptation to walk over to Popeye's. 

GOING TO CALVIN

I found this post from a long time ago....so long agoo...


Yup, I think I have decided to go to Calvin after I do my M. Div. It will be about 12 weeks more work and it is a huge switch from how I have been thinking. I'm not sure what the tipping point was. I think its is the number of empty pulpits we have in Toronto and a discussion I had in a prayer meeting with EK about the contribution to the church of MB. Now, I am not putting myself on par with MB - I don't have the education or experience that he has. I think when I look at the church and see the people struggling to come to grips with the losses of special people we have had recently something clicked with me. Though I love the people who are leaving, the church is bigger than those people. They have taught us and loved us well, but the church and the Church remains. Some of the problems with the church remains as well - no one person can fix a whole church. So maybe that is where some of it comes from - the perspective that no matter how much I value the church workers who are leaving they can only give a bit of themselves - the rest is up to each of us to choose to follow God and their example. Suddenly I don't feel like I have to be the best pastor in the world, I only need to be a disciplined and servant of God. God does the rest. And I have no reason to believe that God would not use me in the CRC and yet use me in other denominations.

So going to Calvin is doing the earthly things that I can do to allow God to use me in the CRC. If he chooses to use me elsewhere that is fine too.

Its been a long journey to get to this point. I needed to walk away from the CRC and not want it so badly in order to grow enough to consider it. Learning not to write off my own aspirations due to other people's opinions and advice has been very hard. And necessary. We'll see where God leads!