Our church lights an Advent wreath at Christmas. This requires four candles - commonly 3 purple and one pink or 4 purple. Except in our church they like 4 royal blue. So last year just before the Sunday I was asked if I could secure 4 royal blue. I started in the local religious supply store, then another, then another....as they helpfully pointed out if I ordered these ahead of time they would have them in stock. Then I went to Michael's and Zeller's and WalMart. Finally secured what we needed in Hamilton - except they weren't royal blue but "Mary" blue.
So this year I'm all set and even better we decide on 3 purple and 1 pink which is very easy to track down.
Did I mention the white candle that sits in the middle of the wreath? This is the Christ candle and thus very important.
How hard do you think it is to find a 3 by 8 white candle? Apparently more difficult then you would imagine! WalMart sells them, they just don't have any left. Suspiciously very few white candles anywhere close to that size are still on the shelf. I can only imagine that other people like me are looking for them. I wonder if WalMart has ever figured out why there is a run on white candles at the end of November?
That's okay, the lady next to me was looking for either 2 Christmas red or Christmas green candles to match her poinsetta napkins. After pulling tons of loose merchandise off the bottom shelf she finally found two red. You wouldn't think red and green tapers would have sold out yet!
This is what I have found with WalMart - you go there and find lots of things to buy but you can't go there to buy certain things. For instance, they do not see nice Christmas paper. I assume they have given up because you can go to the dollar store. But I want nice paper for a few special gifts. No deal.
I would love to stop shopping there but they have really cheap dispensing on their meds. So I get sucked into going for that and then looking around for 20 minutes while the fill the script.
I'm a sucker!
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Do you see what I DON'T See?
Look closely at this log - do you the manger scene? C'mon, look again - don't you see Mary and some animals?
Here is a quote from the people who have listed it on ebay
"IT IS NOT A FAKE.(because it contains all of the images in the coming of baby jesus, many have accused us of altering or manufacturing this image.) It can be verified by any method that you so choose...it is quite real. We did nothing to it except take the photos."
Yeah, actually, I don't think its fake. I'm sorta back...maybe
I haven't blogged in ages. Mostly because I hit a time where I just didn't want to talk about anything. Then I hit a very long time period where I am so tired of being scrutinized and dissected that I just couldn't stand the thought of sharing anything about me with anyone. Between the spiritual director, mentor, classmates (who are really, really getting on my nerves) and support group at church I'm sick of talking about me! So I might post a few fun things - I hope my friends find them fun at least. Like this interesting item that you see. I mean what do I say - I believe that Christ cares about us continually but this is just too much. And 20 bucks. Its really something.
Monday, September 22, 2008
The Billboards in the States
I love the States. They are so much like Canada but in some weird way they aren't. My favourite on our trip to Dubuque, Iowa (yes, I know, why would anyone go there?) was the billboards along the highway. Like the hospital that advertised "Women's Surgery" with a magenta billboard and some kind of orchid. Very professional. I'm surprised they didn't dumb it down a bit and call it "down there surgery".
They also had billboards of happy people in Emergency Departments getting seen in a guaranteed 5 minutes.
One my favourites was one with the picture of a neurosurgeon - "The brain behind the brain". Imagine driving by a huge picture of yourself?!
The other thing that was fun was very bizarre restaurants they have there. I swear their fast food is worse then ours. I still want to try a Jack-in-the-Box burger - never been to one.
They also had billboards of happy people in Emergency Departments getting seen in a guaranteed 5 minutes.
One my favourites was one with the picture of a neurosurgeon - "The brain behind the brain". Imagine driving by a huge picture of yourself?!
The other thing that was fun was very bizarre restaurants they have there. I swear their fast food is worse then ours. I still want to try a Jack-in-the-Box burger - never been to one.
Theyre coming to take me away....
No blogs for awhile. I had funny stories from the States but most of you have heard them by now.
As part of my course work I must meet throughout the year with
a spiritual advisor
a group from the church to help me with boundaries
a mentor who is a pastor
I can continue with my therapist if I choose. Not a chance - she had a problem with confidentiality.
Anyhow, I am sick of talking about me, thinking about me and measuring "me". I know longer really know who I am but I have a whole whack of labels. Nobody has given me the coveted "Sane" label yet. I loved that on the Simpsons - they hand stamped "SANE" when releasing you..
As part of my course work I must meet throughout the year with
a spiritual advisor
a group from the church to help me with boundaries
a mentor who is a pastor
I can continue with my therapist if I choose. Not a chance - she had a problem with confidentiality.
Anyhow, I am sick of talking about me, thinking about me and measuring "me". I know longer really know who I am but I have a whole whack of labels. Nobody has given me the coveted "Sane" label yet. I loved that on the Simpsons - they hand stamped "SANE" when releasing you..
Friday, August 08, 2008
Leadership Summit Day Two
I'm so tired! It was another good day at the summit. There were some very good guests who have such an incredible drive. One that I really liked is the CEO of Best Buy who just seems like such a nice guy - he really believes in his employees!
I realised watching these different leaders that it is the ones who are focused on the process rather than only the end result that I really relate to. Hybels I think is a very end result person, and I have worked for these kind of people and I find them insensitive to the needs of the employees. That's not to say that I think the process is the most import thing - but I think that it is really important and a good result with a lousy process for the staff doesn't make me happy. The bottom line is often all that some of these leaders gets excited about - I get excited about the journey getting to the bottom line. I noticed the leaders that I really admired the most were the ones who loved the people they were serving - they believed in the people that they led. I don't know how we do church without that.
The CEO of Best Buy said he spends the majority of his time dealing with the complexities of people - that sounds very familiar. I had a boss that tried to outrun the staff. She basically told me that she would rush past the doorway to the Department so they wouldn't see her. She couldn't take the whining and complaining. I also noticed that she tended to promise things to staff that were impossible to deliver. So I ran the people - she gave me the target to meet. How I met it she didn't care - and she thought that I spent too much time being fair. She once told me - I don't want to know anything about the people and their private lives. I was supposed to be a Supervisor but in reality I was a manager. In some ways I hated that job - it was tough on my ego, people aren't very appreciative no matter how much you do for them. It was also a 24 hour a day job - there was no backup, I was always on call. It didn't matter that people didn't call often - it was knowing that I was always "on". I was having dinner with a friend and a staff member managed to have me tracked down to the restaurant.
I was a young supervisor who had a real hellion of a boss as a mentor. I did well but I now know how much better I would be at that role today with my Christian walk, the Holy Spirit and maturity to guide me. Pastoring is very close to supervising in skill breadth, frustration levels (you deal with complicated people all day) and multiple bosses with shifting focus. But the pressure is higher. But then again the top boss is very supportive!
I realised watching these different leaders that it is the ones who are focused on the process rather than only the end result that I really relate to. Hybels I think is a very end result person, and I have worked for these kind of people and I find them insensitive to the needs of the employees. That's not to say that I think the process is the most import thing - but I think that it is really important and a good result with a lousy process for the staff doesn't make me happy. The bottom line is often all that some of these leaders gets excited about - I get excited about the journey getting to the bottom line. I noticed the leaders that I really admired the most were the ones who loved the people they were serving - they believed in the people that they led. I don't know how we do church without that.
The CEO of Best Buy said he spends the majority of his time dealing with the complexities of people - that sounds very familiar. I had a boss that tried to outrun the staff. She basically told me that she would rush past the doorway to the Department so they wouldn't see her. She couldn't take the whining and complaining. I also noticed that she tended to promise things to staff that were impossible to deliver. So I ran the people - she gave me the target to meet. How I met it she didn't care - and she thought that I spent too much time being fair. She once told me - I don't want to know anything about the people and their private lives. I was supposed to be a Supervisor but in reality I was a manager. In some ways I hated that job - it was tough on my ego, people aren't very appreciative no matter how much you do for them. It was also a 24 hour a day job - there was no backup, I was always on call. It didn't matter that people didn't call often - it was knowing that I was always "on". I was having dinner with a friend and a staff member managed to have me tracked down to the restaurant.
I was a young supervisor who had a real hellion of a boss as a mentor. I did well but I now know how much better I would be at that role today with my Christian walk, the Holy Spirit and maturity to guide me. Pastoring is very close to supervising in skill breadth, frustration levels (you deal with complicated people all day) and multiple bosses with shifting focus. But the pressure is higher. But then again the top boss is very supportive!
Thursday, August 07, 2008
The Better Way
I took the Richmond Hill bus today and was it ever nice. The website asked me where I was and directed me to the nearest stop. It told me the different ways I could get to my destination based on walking time and transfers. Very efficient.
Meanwhile, the TTC is a whole other story....I went the other day with a ten dollar bill - if you put a ten into the machine it will dispense four tokens plus your change. It didn't like my two fives - I was later told you need to use a ten. Why? Anyhow, I take my two fives to the booth to buy four tokens. I'm told he can't sell me four - he can only sell me five - but then its 11.25. Huh? Why can't he sell me four? Ian tried to explain this to me but honestly I'm still not getting it - something about it being a deal if I buy 5. But I only want four and I only had a ten in my hand. Why on earth would someone buy in multiples of 5? Ten will last you a week. Four will last you two trips there and back but five? Since they no longer sell tickets all that has to happen is he little tokens come whizzing out the machine - its not difficult. I guess just I am.
Which was the best part of my day buying my 100 dollar bra last week.
Meanwhile, the TTC is a whole other story....I went the other day with a ten dollar bill - if you put a ten into the machine it will dispense four tokens plus your change. It didn't like my two fives - I was later told you need to use a ten. Why? Anyhow, I take my two fives to the booth to buy four tokens. I'm told he can't sell me four - he can only sell me five - but then its 11.25. Huh? Why can't he sell me four? Ian tried to explain this to me but honestly I'm still not getting it - something about it being a deal if I buy 5. But I only want four and I only had a ten in my hand. Why on earth would someone buy in multiples of 5? Ten will last you a week. Four will last you two trips there and back but five? Since they no longer sell tickets all that has to happen is he little tokens come whizzing out the machine - its not difficult. I guess just I am.
Which was the best part of my day buying my 100 dollar bra last week.
I WANT CHICKEN BALLS!!
Yum - check out that chemically sauce!
Okay, I get to eat lunch out tomorrow - really there is no where to store a sack lunch and I don't have the car to put one in. So there is a couple of Chinese restaurants across the street that look good. But honestly, I'm in the mood for chicken balls. I promised myself that I would never order chicken balls in an authentic style restaurant. Why such pride? Why do I care what they think - if they all say in Chinese - touristy white girl in booth two wants chicken balls?
And that is the theme of my life right now. I don't have to prove to them that I can eat somewhat authentic (I still don't eat feet or tripe or anything) Chinese food - I know I can. Like the newfound state of freedom - I can preach - yeah sure, I need practice but I don't need to prove it to anyone. Take it or leave it. Or like going to Calvin - if I don't like their demands, well heck, I'll go somewhere else - I don't need to prove anything. Today chicken balls, tomorrow the world!
So maybe tomorrow I will get chicken balls...with steamed rice - that way they know I have a little class.
Dutch People Don't Like to Touch
At the conference today Bill who is Dutch was responding to a presenter and touched him on the arm. During the conversation the other gentlemen noted that he too was Dutch. Bill said "I'm surprised you let me touch you then!". Everyone laughed as though this is a known fact. It wasn't until I went to a Willow Creek conference that I learned that the Dutch have a stereotype of being cheap.
I think this might be an Dutch-American thing. In Holland there was way too much kissing going on for my liking - both cheeks - please - watch my boundaries. But expression of heartfelt emotion does seem to be limited. People talk a lot about what they think - but not much about how they feel. Instead of people criticizing I wonder how it would sound if they talked about their feelings? I bet stuff would create more sympathy then hostility.
Leadership Summit - Day One (2)
I totally forgot another thing I saw today! The second presenter had a teaching style very close to mine. He has passion but it is subdued - he doesn't talk loudly - more on the softer side. When he tells a story his pace picks up - he tends to hold the lecturn like he is trying to drive it somewhere. He has the same type of humour and mixes questions with statements. It was really odd - I have not been happy with my style because it is not as bold as I would like it to be. I hope that when I get more experience there will be more oomph to my style. But it was very affirming to see a guy with my style - I looked around the crowd and I could see that people were listening and interested. Even the way he tells stories had a really similar feel - I've never had that happen before.
I might see if I can buy his session to compare - maybe I can learn something watching him on ways that I can improve. I want my classmates to watch a piece of this and see if they see the resemblance and how they feel watching him. I wonder if guys think his style is wussy.
Watching others not like me is helpful to pick up tips but doesn't help as much because they are so different. I also unconsciously "ape" people at times where I pick up their style of inflection and stuff which is weird and not something I like doing - I hate to pick up someone else's voice rather than be authentic to my own way.
I might see if I can buy his session to compare - maybe I can learn something watching him on ways that I can improve. I want my classmates to watch a piece of this and see if they see the resemblance and how they feel watching him. I wonder if guys think his style is wussy.
Watching others not like me is helpful to pick up tips but doesn't help as much because they are so different. I also unconsciously "ape" people at times where I pick up their style of inflection and stuff which is weird and not something I like doing - I hate to pick up someone else's voice rather than be authentic to my own way.
Leadership Summit - Day One
Every year I go to the Leadership Summit put on by Willow Creek. Every year I have some kind of epiphany. I don't know if I remember all of the years:
the first - just the sheer excitement of being at a conference that was so well done that mixed leadership with being Christian.
the second - this was the year that I was going to take the pastor aside and tell him I was moving on from the church to somewhere else. But in the first session it was as if Bill was speaking directly to my unhappiness and I had - Bill said that you need to align your self with God's heart - that what wrecks your heart, your passion might just be what wrecks God's heart too. This was a huge revelation for me - the state of the church wrecked my heart - maybe I shouldn't be leaving because the church was making me unhappy - maybe that was why I should stay. By the end of the morning session I knew I was meant to stay. It was beginning of the year where I didn't have a role in the church anymore and I had "burned bridges" - I can say that it was the hardest year of all.
the third year - I sensed that this was the time to go. I went to Willow waiting for the magic where all my doubts would be cast aside - this time Bill talked about leadership paradigms where leaders reach a place where they can no longer be challenged - not because they were at their capacity but because no one would allow it. The pastor hadn't come this year so I couldn't really process it with anyone. By the end of the first session, I knew that staying at the church was really a big question mark - I was no longer challenged - I had made my peace with parishioners and sat on the sidelines for a year with no opportunity to volunteer in ministry. And I was going into my third and final year of schooling. I made once last ditch effort to stay by coming up with a ministry plan for the coming year in preparation for seminary. But that fell through so I moved on to become a member at the church that I was working in.
the fourth year - this was a weird year. I went with a team from my former church and noted how negatively the leaders talked about the congregation. Even in front of a couple that were new to the church. I prayed about it - wanting to take the team aside and tell them that there perspective was really self-serving - but decided against it. This was the year that I wondered when Bill would talk about loving one another. He always has great insight - he loves the church, he loves Christ, he loves leading, he loves the lost - but you know, I have never heard him say anything that talks about his love for his fellow parishioners. I wondered if this was a blind spot or if he had talked about it so much in other years.
Today. I listened to Bill. I have recently reread his book Courageous Leadership. I know he picks leaders based on the three C's - character, competency and chemistry. If he doesn't think he will want to work long hours with you he doesn't put you on the team. I have been in the position where I was told I was picked for a team on the three C's - which means when you are rejected from a team you wonder which of the C's you screwed up on. I have thought about this alot and other of Bill's unapologetic approaches to leaders. He tends to classify and slot people - he has various types of leaders that he looks for. He insists on only taking a 10/10 person on a team. He will go to other churches looking for a 10 rather than settling for a 9. Having been on the other side of ministry - where you want to serve but don't measure up, I have been thinking about this a lot more. I respect Bill and agree with him on some things. But this is the year that I suddenly realized that what Bill and pastors who follow Bill's leadership style are missing is something that I can do. I can take a group of people and work with them. I did it in the workplace where I inherited unionized staff with longevity. I was happy to lose a few through natural attrition, laid one off and the rest shone in their jobs. They became empowered, responsible and in five years no longer required a supervisor. I don't need 10's - and I don't need perfect chemistry to create a team. Bill works with a staff of over 40 people - he can afford to be choosy - I don't have that privilege.
I also wonder what this means about learning to love people and empower them as they are gifted. Does Bill really love the people he serves? I never hear him talk about love - I hear hard words - that good teams mean hard decisions. I think some good teams come from being spiritually mature enough to help people become who God created them to be. That's not to say I wouldn't let someone go off of a team if they couldn't play nicely - but it does mean that I would never wait until the person meets my standards before putting them on a team. Why would I want a team of like minded people in charge of a diverse group of people?
So, I'm bidding farewell to worrying about why I don't agree with Bill and his followers on some pretty big things. Bill works wonders with his leadership style - but God can work through me using mine too. My preChristian personality fit well with Bill's style - measure people up, reject the ones you don't want and move on. I'm trying a different route now - it might take longer and I may never be considered a "great leader" but at least I may unearth some great leaders that just needed a bit of time and exposure to be unearthed.
the first - just the sheer excitement of being at a conference that was so well done that mixed leadership with being Christian.
the second - this was the year that I was going to take the pastor aside and tell him I was moving on from the church to somewhere else. But in the first session it was as if Bill was speaking directly to my unhappiness and I had - Bill said that you need to align your self with God's heart - that what wrecks your heart, your passion might just be what wrecks God's heart too. This was a huge revelation for me - the state of the church wrecked my heart - maybe I shouldn't be leaving because the church was making me unhappy - maybe that was why I should stay. By the end of the morning session I knew I was meant to stay. It was beginning of the year where I didn't have a role in the church anymore and I had "burned bridges" - I can say that it was the hardest year of all.
the third year - I sensed that this was the time to go. I went to Willow waiting for the magic where all my doubts would be cast aside - this time Bill talked about leadership paradigms where leaders reach a place where they can no longer be challenged - not because they were at their capacity but because no one would allow it. The pastor hadn't come this year so I couldn't really process it with anyone. By the end of the first session, I knew that staying at the church was really a big question mark - I was no longer challenged - I had made my peace with parishioners and sat on the sidelines for a year with no opportunity to volunteer in ministry. And I was going into my third and final year of schooling. I made once last ditch effort to stay by coming up with a ministry plan for the coming year in preparation for seminary. But that fell through so I moved on to become a member at the church that I was working in.
the fourth year - this was a weird year. I went with a team from my former church and noted how negatively the leaders talked about the congregation. Even in front of a couple that were new to the church. I prayed about it - wanting to take the team aside and tell them that there perspective was really self-serving - but decided against it. This was the year that I wondered when Bill would talk about loving one another. He always has great insight - he loves the church, he loves Christ, he loves leading, he loves the lost - but you know, I have never heard him say anything that talks about his love for his fellow parishioners. I wondered if this was a blind spot or if he had talked about it so much in other years.
Today. I listened to Bill. I have recently reread his book Courageous Leadership. I know he picks leaders based on the three C's - character, competency and chemistry. If he doesn't think he will want to work long hours with you he doesn't put you on the team. I have been in the position where I was told I was picked for a team on the three C's - which means when you are rejected from a team you wonder which of the C's you screwed up on. I have thought about this alot and other of Bill's unapologetic approaches to leaders. He tends to classify and slot people - he has various types of leaders that he looks for. He insists on only taking a 10/10 person on a team. He will go to other churches looking for a 10 rather than settling for a 9. Having been on the other side of ministry - where you want to serve but don't measure up, I have been thinking about this a lot more. I respect Bill and agree with him on some things. But this is the year that I suddenly realized that what Bill and pastors who follow Bill's leadership style are missing is something that I can do. I can take a group of people and work with them. I did it in the workplace where I inherited unionized staff with longevity. I was happy to lose a few through natural attrition, laid one off and the rest shone in their jobs. They became empowered, responsible and in five years no longer required a supervisor. I don't need 10's - and I don't need perfect chemistry to create a team. Bill works with a staff of over 40 people - he can afford to be choosy - I don't have that privilege.
I also wonder what this means about learning to love people and empower them as they are gifted. Does Bill really love the people he serves? I never hear him talk about love - I hear hard words - that good teams mean hard decisions. I think some good teams come from being spiritually mature enough to help people become who God created them to be. That's not to say I wouldn't let someone go off of a team if they couldn't play nicely - but it does mean that I would never wait until the person meets my standards before putting them on a team. Why would I want a team of like minded people in charge of a diverse group of people?
So, I'm bidding farewell to worrying about why I don't agree with Bill and his followers on some pretty big things. Bill works wonders with his leadership style - but God can work through me using mine too. My preChristian personality fit well with Bill's style - measure people up, reject the ones you don't want and move on. I'm trying a different route now - it might take longer and I may never be considered a "great leader" but at least I may unearth some great leaders that just needed a bit of time and exposure to be unearthed.
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Gun Pulled on Parking Officer
A local parking enforcement officer had a gun pulled on him as he waited for police to come grab a stolen car he was sitting on.
This is a common occurence, finding a stolen car I mean, not getting a gun pulled on you. A parking guy gets ready to ticket a car and it turns out its stolen. If the police want to do fingerprinting and stuff then they have to come to the location and take possession of the car, seal it and send it to a police pound. If they are too busy, you may wait a while - you can't leave the car because you need to show some continuity of evidence and besides the theif may come back for it. Sometimes you can wait a few hours..
We know the person involved, luckily he was able to defend himself by punching the guy and managed to grab the gun.
There will now be a renewed call for officers to be armed - either with guns or a nightstick. Nightsticks require ongoing training and personally I wouldn't bring a night stick to a gun fight.
This ought to be quite the discussion around the stations and hopefully calmer heads will prevail.
This is a common occurence, finding a stolen car I mean, not getting a gun pulled on you. A parking guy gets ready to ticket a car and it turns out its stolen. If the police want to do fingerprinting and stuff then they have to come to the location and take possession of the car, seal it and send it to a police pound. If they are too busy, you may wait a while - you can't leave the car because you need to show some continuity of evidence and besides the theif may come back for it. Sometimes you can wait a few hours..
We know the person involved, luckily he was able to defend himself by punching the guy and managed to grab the gun.
There will now be a renewed call for officers to be armed - either with guns or a nightstick. Nightsticks require ongoing training and personally I wouldn't bring a night stick to a gun fight.
This ought to be quite the discussion around the stations and hopefully calmer heads will prevail.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Its funny...but mean?
The picture will make sense in a few paragraphs.
I had a wicked migraine yesterday - almost totally incapcitated at a friend's church, full blown in a very short time.
So when I got home to my own bed and bathroom I was so relieved. And I saw the flashing light on the phone saying there was a message and I saw that it was my mother-in-law.
I wanted to ignore it. But I also know that in this state I often start to obsess about words and images and things (I can't explain it really). I knew through the fitful beginning of sleep I would wonder and dream about that unknown message. So I checked it.
"Clifford is there an accident?" Long pause. I'm thinking context would be helpful right about now. "Your sister was supposed to be here at 11:00 and she is still not here". She left the message at 2:30 and it is already almost 3:00. No point in phoning back because I can't answer the question and figure she will sit tight or call Clifford at work.
Expecting hubby home at 4:00 I was surprised to wake up at 6:00 p.m. with him coming in the door. "Where where you". "Well....I got a call from 13 Division". I said "let me guess, your mom wanted to know if your sister was in an accident." He was amazed at my psychic ability during a migraine until I explained there was a message.
Sadly, I didn't return the call and my mother-in-law managed to walk a number of city blocks to 13 Division. Who called my husband at work indicating that they had left a message for his sister and could he pick up his mom. They really wanted to get a police car to drive her home but they were all tied up. They thought she was "cute".
Upon arriving home, the sister called. She never said she was coming for sure. There was no plan for 11:00 a.m. She didn't pick up the phone because she had a migraine. My mother-in-law insisted that someone called and said "they were coming up". After doing last number called it was determined that someone downstairs at the apartment board accidentally called the wrong apartment number and it was answered with the assumption that is must be her daughter calling.
She also insisted that C didn't pick up the messages she left on his cell phone. He patiently showed her the display to show that he had not received any calls from her number.
On the one hand I feel somewhat badly that she had this scare. On the other hand this is a typical story involving my in-laws. There is always drama, death, destruction which is cleared up with a few phone calls and common-sense. We once got a call late at night that C's brother had taken off from his sister's place threatening suicide. We were first married and I was appalled at the lack of concern from my husband. I later learned, after driving half of Toronto and visiting the scuzziest bars that this is just another day in the life of his family. The more you react to the drama they more they reoccur. We didn't find him. But he is still alive.
And again I wonder how the woman who can barely make it across the church hall to pour her own coffee can make it to the police station which is quite a healthy walk.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Cat Scan
I realise in talking to a friend that I am a horrible person. Well by using her as a guideline.
See, if my cat gets sick, I have a mental number in my head as to how much I will spend before I choose to let the cat "go". I'm thinking 500 bucks. After that the cat is on her own. She balked at paying 3000 because she didn't have the money. I think if she had it she would have done it - and that was with no guarantee that cat would survive.
Now this is really shocking to a lot of people. But I can't see spending anymore then that on a cat that is already old and when they can rarely guarantee that the cat will survive the treatment. Once they require investigative medicine you have hit the 500 mark.
Vets don't like this much either. They want to cure the cat not kill it. If you don't own an animal you may not realise how far vet medicine has gone - there are not cat scans, x rays, teeth cleaning, IV's, and exploratory surgery. An overnight stay costs quite a bit too. I'm not sure that we have gone the route of life support - yet. I can just imagine the court battles over Boots and his right to die/live.
I worked with a lady that had to take her cat in once every 6 months for kidney dialysis. I thought she was joking. I can't imagine the cost and I wonder how the cat felt?
We had one cat that we put on an IV - it was awful - he was so upset having his foot bandaged up with a splint and of course you can't explain it to the cat.
Now before you send me angry responses, realise that all of the cats that I have owned in Toronto came from the shelter or from someone who didn't want them - and they have all been adults that are difficult to get someone to adopt. So I did save one of their lives!
See, if my cat gets sick, I have a mental number in my head as to how much I will spend before I choose to let the cat "go". I'm thinking 500 bucks. After that the cat is on her own. She balked at paying 3000 because she didn't have the money. I think if she had it she would have done it - and that was with no guarantee that cat would survive.
Now this is really shocking to a lot of people. But I can't see spending anymore then that on a cat that is already old and when they can rarely guarantee that the cat will survive the treatment. Once they require investigative medicine you have hit the 500 mark.
Vets don't like this much either. They want to cure the cat not kill it. If you don't own an animal you may not realise how far vet medicine has gone - there are not cat scans, x rays, teeth cleaning, IV's, and exploratory surgery. An overnight stay costs quite a bit too. I'm not sure that we have gone the route of life support - yet. I can just imagine the court battles over Boots and his right to die/live.
I worked with a lady that had to take her cat in once every 6 months for kidney dialysis. I thought she was joking. I can't imagine the cost and I wonder how the cat felt?
We had one cat that we put on an IV - it was awful - he was so upset having his foot bandaged up with a splint and of course you can't explain it to the cat.
Now before you send me angry responses, realise that all of the cats that I have owned in Toronto came from the shelter or from someone who didn't want them - and they have all been adults that are difficult to get someone to adopt. So I did save one of their lives!
Saturday, July 26, 2008
There's No Life Like It
Up and rising star, son of a local merchant in a small town I lived in joined the military. As a padre (chaplain).
Shock and disbelief - not only that he joined in an ecclesiastical role but that he joined the military.
Now, I'm sure there are many from my childhood days and my career years that have many disparaging comments to make about my own turn to faith and calling.
But rumour had it that the military paid better than the local church. Which sounds so much like something this person I knew years ago would say - very pragmatic. Well, I doubted that statement but have been proved quite wrong.
Upon completion of basic training a padre is given the rank of Captain and is thus an officer. Salary - starts at 62,000 a year. They may pay for housing though if they do it would be pretty low - base housing is cheap (it used to be free).
Now you work your butt off for the money - talk about fishbowl existence. Ministry in any church means your life is on display for everyone - multiply that by about 10 if you serve on a military base. I was very neurotic moving to Toronto because I was ingrained to understand that anything I did was a reflection on my father's rank and position. I was never directly told this, I just knew this. Women stayed home and cooked and cleaned and hung out in their own station in life - officer's wives hung out with officer's wives. It was fairly easy to do this as you lived in housing on base which was segregated by rank. We lived in Captain's quarters forever and when my father was promoted to Major we were excited that we were going to move to Golden Row - they have much bigger kitchens and I think a fireplace if I remember correctly. Truthfully my fascination was a boy that I had a long standing crush on lived on that street. Along with a lot of funny guys in my class.
We didn't move - wasn't worth the bother my father said and he wasn't the type to care about these things.
So, if I can lose 100 pounds, get my degree and get signed off I can apply. The beauty is that there is so much to do and you get a ton of training in suicide prevention, crisis situations, interpersonal relations...and as a Protestant you work with a team of different denominations.
Ain't gonna happen. But how interesting if it had!
I thought this was very interesting from their web site:
Being a chapel-life coordinator doesn't mean being all things to all people. And contrary to what some members of the community may want, it doesn't even mean always being present. The most significant role of the chapel-life coordinator is to empower the community of faith to do the ministry to which they were called. This means working with the community to assist them as they discern their gifts and look for ways that they can use them. This also creates a network that the chapel-life coordinator can utilize to assist in the ministry within the faith community. This means that instead of trying to function as visual artist, Sunday school superintendent, program scheduler, or any other list of functions, the chapel-life coordinator knows that there are qualified individuals who are willing to assist. This only works when it is abundantly clear that we all share in ministry; the chaplains and the community of faith. When this occurs, it is possible for everyone to be enriched and nourished within the faith community. It is possible for everyone to make the best use of his or her gifts for the ministry of God.
Shock and disbelief - not only that he joined in an ecclesiastical role but that he joined the military.
Now, I'm sure there are many from my childhood days and my career years that have many disparaging comments to make about my own turn to faith and calling.
But rumour had it that the military paid better than the local church. Which sounds so much like something this person I knew years ago would say - very pragmatic. Well, I doubted that statement but have been proved quite wrong.
Upon completion of basic training a padre is given the rank of Captain and is thus an officer. Salary - starts at 62,000 a year. They may pay for housing though if they do it would be pretty low - base housing is cheap (it used to be free).
Now you work your butt off for the money - talk about fishbowl existence. Ministry in any church means your life is on display for everyone - multiply that by about 10 if you serve on a military base. I was very neurotic moving to Toronto because I was ingrained to understand that anything I did was a reflection on my father's rank and position. I was never directly told this, I just knew this. Women stayed home and cooked and cleaned and hung out in their own station in life - officer's wives hung out with officer's wives. It was fairly easy to do this as you lived in housing on base which was segregated by rank. We lived in Captain's quarters forever and when my father was promoted to Major we were excited that we were going to move to Golden Row - they have much bigger kitchens and I think a fireplace if I remember correctly. Truthfully my fascination was a boy that I had a long standing crush on lived on that street. Along with a lot of funny guys in my class.
We didn't move - wasn't worth the bother my father said and he wasn't the type to care about these things.
So, if I can lose 100 pounds, get my degree and get signed off I can apply. The beauty is that there is so much to do and you get a ton of training in suicide prevention, crisis situations, interpersonal relations...and as a Protestant you work with a team of different denominations.
Ain't gonna happen. But how interesting if it had!
I thought this was very interesting from their web site:
Being a chapel-life coordinator doesn't mean being all things to all people. And contrary to what some members of the community may want, it doesn't even mean always being present. The most significant role of the chapel-life coordinator is to empower the community of faith to do the ministry to which they were called. This means working with the community to assist them as they discern their gifts and look for ways that they can use them. This also creates a network that the chapel-life coordinator can utilize to assist in the ministry within the faith community. This means that instead of trying to function as visual artist, Sunday school superintendent, program scheduler, or any other list of functions, the chapel-life coordinator knows that there are qualified individuals who are willing to assist. This only works when it is abundantly clear that we all share in ministry; the chaplains and the community of faith. When this occurs, it is possible for everyone to be enriched and nourished within the faith community. It is possible for everyone to make the best use of his or her gifts for the ministry of God.
I Win Contests
I do pretty good in winning raffles. And once when I was in grade 12 I won a doozy of a raffle. We had gone shopping in Marshall's store. Marshall's was an independently run clothing store in Kingston, Nova Scotia. Teenagers didn't tend to shop there unless they were looking for a dress. I don't remember why we were there but my mom entered me in a draw. The draw was for a free bra.
Now Marshall's was owned by the parents of a fellow student in school. Luckily not a jock or one of the wildly popular people, but still with a dry sense of humour and enough self-confidence that I was pretty sure that I would be teased about this winning. I dreaded the next week - telling myself that there is no way that he would be aware of the ins and outs of his parent's business. I was right and the story remained a secret with a friend.
I am surprised though. I can't remember if Kingston had its own paper or if everything was printed in the Annapolis Valley paper - but often news of this type does get published. Thankfully, I never heard anything about it.
Now Marshall's was owned by the parents of a fellow student in school. Luckily not a jock or one of the wildly popular people, but still with a dry sense of humour and enough self-confidence that I was pretty sure that I would be teased about this winning. I dreaded the next week - telling myself that there is no way that he would be aware of the ins and outs of his parent's business. I was right and the story remained a secret with a friend.
I am surprised though. I can't remember if Kingston had its own paper or if everything was printed in the Annapolis Valley paper - but often news of this type does get published. Thankfully, I never heard anything about it.
My Wish List - Bra
I'm trolling around the Sears website yesterday checking out the bras. Some of you out there can relate to this - it doesn't really matter what size you are - buying a good fitting bra is something of a pain in the butt. Not to mention the chest.
First of all - not all bras that are the same size are really the same size. You have to try them all on. But you can only generally take in three at a time. However, you almost always have to try a band size and a cup size up or down based on your own experience from your own size. It is nearly impossible to get out of the fitting room without doing two trips. By the time you try on your 5th bra they all feel like crap - and you can't quite remember if the 2nd one you tried on was really as good as you thought.
So why am I looking at a website? Well it occured to me that looking at the online and establishing on or two styles to try would save me a lot of hassle at the store. To keep track of what I looked at they have a wish list button. They inform me that it is very handy for me to send my wish list to friends and family by email - this way I might receive these items as gifts in the future.
Those at the smaller end of the spectrum and the larger end of the spectrum have a hard time finding the perfect bra at a department store. But I heard about a place called Secrets from Your Sister that is supposed to be fantastic at bra fitting though the bras are pricey - around 100 bucks. But better 100 that fits then the 50 dollars that don't I suppose. So if you are looking to buy me a gift for no particular reason I will save you the hassle of going to the lingerie department with a print out in your hand - give me cash!
First of all - not all bras that are the same size are really the same size. You have to try them all on. But you can only generally take in three at a time. However, you almost always have to try a band size and a cup size up or down based on your own experience from your own size. It is nearly impossible to get out of the fitting room without doing two trips. By the time you try on your 5th bra they all feel like crap - and you can't quite remember if the 2nd one you tried on was really as good as you thought.
So why am I looking at a website? Well it occured to me that looking at the online and establishing on or two styles to try would save me a lot of hassle at the store. To keep track of what I looked at they have a wish list button. They inform me that it is very handy for me to send my wish list to friends and family by email - this way I might receive these items as gifts in the future.
Those at the smaller end of the spectrum and the larger end of the spectrum have a hard time finding the perfect bra at a department store. But I heard about a place called Secrets from Your Sister that is supposed to be fantastic at bra fitting though the bras are pricey - around 100 bucks. But better 100 that fits then the 50 dollars that don't I suppose. So if you are looking to buy me a gift for no particular reason I will save you the hassle of going to the lingerie department with a print out in your hand - give me cash!
Depression Lingers....
Yeah, the depression, though slight, is lingering. I had great plans for today - but fell asleep on the couch watching History Bites (one of my favourite shows) and ended up heading to bed until Cliff got home. Now of course I can't sleep so I am going to read one of my books that I need to do a two page reflection on. Of course, if I'm blogging I can hardly be that productive in my reading!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
The Kids are Driving Me Crazy
I used to wonder a bit about Christians that don't watch TV. Its such a foreign idea to me - I would really feel like I would miss something.
Two days of babysitting children on little sleep has meant a more cranky Auntie then the one who normally shows up. And the little darlings were really driving me crazy. They seem to be on some kind of permanent "I want" routine. In Pizza Pizza we were getting something to eat and the 6 year old sees an advertisement on an inscreen TV type of think and announces that he wants to see Step Brothers. He has seen the commercials enough to know the name and to add it to his list. He also wants to see the Mummy. In two days he has asked for so many things I finally got fed up and told him that there were children who wanted food and water and couldn't get that so maybe its time we start counting how many times he says "I want". When I say "no" he says "Why not?". As if I need a good reason to say no to giving him a cup of coffee. His response is "But I want it". As their mother was getting up from sleeping after night shift I was calling up the stairs for the door slamming to stop. "Please stop slamming the door, someone's fingers are going to get caught". She says "You sound just like me, that's what I say". In truth, I just couldn't take the noise any longer.
Being cranky is not my normal mode with the kids and I sensed once or twice that they were playing me. They work as a tag team and there is a tremendous amount of giggling going on. What am I going to do when they realise (and its coming soon) that I am not nearly as smart as they think I am? Maybe we have already reached that day!
At any rate, it distrubs me that the kids know so much about what is out there - games, food, movies, tv shows. I don't know if children who don't watch TV have this compulsive need to ask for things as well or if this is the effects of thinking that things are just their for the taking. I have had the money talk a few times - I think they think that lack of money is a problem to be fixed rather than the natural state of things. Its not that they want too much stuff, its that Auntie and Mom and Dad are being home enough moola for their needs.
So, I'm rethinking the whole question of TV. I used to think it was good for kids to be familiar with the culture out there - but now I'm thinking that it seems wrong to expose young minds to so much excessive stuff.
Two days of babysitting children on little sleep has meant a more cranky Auntie then the one who normally shows up. And the little darlings were really driving me crazy. They seem to be on some kind of permanent "I want" routine. In Pizza Pizza we were getting something to eat and the 6 year old sees an advertisement on an inscreen TV type of think and announces that he wants to see Step Brothers. He has seen the commercials enough to know the name and to add it to his list. He also wants to see the Mummy. In two days he has asked for so many things I finally got fed up and told him that there were children who wanted food and water and couldn't get that so maybe its time we start counting how many times he says "I want". When I say "no" he says "Why not?". As if I need a good reason to say no to giving him a cup of coffee. His response is "But I want it". As their mother was getting up from sleeping after night shift I was calling up the stairs for the door slamming to stop. "Please stop slamming the door, someone's fingers are going to get caught". She says "You sound just like me, that's what I say". In truth, I just couldn't take the noise any longer.
Being cranky is not my normal mode with the kids and I sensed once or twice that they were playing me. They work as a tag team and there is a tremendous amount of giggling going on. What am I going to do when they realise (and its coming soon) that I am not nearly as smart as they think I am? Maybe we have already reached that day!
At any rate, it distrubs me that the kids know so much about what is out there - games, food, movies, tv shows. I don't know if children who don't watch TV have this compulsive need to ask for things as well or if this is the effects of thinking that things are just their for the taking. I have had the money talk a few times - I think they think that lack of money is a problem to be fixed rather than the natural state of things. Its not that they want too much stuff, its that Auntie and Mom and Dad are being home enough moola for their needs.
So, I'm rethinking the whole question of TV. I used to think it was good for kids to be familiar with the culture out there - but now I'm thinking that it seems wrong to expose young minds to so much excessive stuff.
I'm Feeling Down
I'm feeling down. Good friends are moving soon and I am really going to miss them! I haven't lost a friendship due to moving in years - I don't remember if it was hard when I was younger or not - if it was me moving it was easier because I had a new routine and stuff to go to and a new school to deal with. I had so much on my mind already.
So that along with a few day of insomnia (I only got 2 hours sleep on Monday - I finally fell asleep Tuesday morning at 7:00 a.m. and had to get up to babysit at 10:00 a.m.) and thinking about Calvin Seminary and having some work that needs to be done for school hanging over my head has left me feeling a bit down. I hate feeling like this because sometimes it gets worse before it gets better. I'm finding that the more free time I have the longer it takes me to get stuff done because I am a procrastinator.
So that along with a few day of insomnia (I only got 2 hours sleep on Monday - I finally fell asleep Tuesday morning at 7:00 a.m. and had to get up to babysit at 10:00 a.m.) and thinking about Calvin Seminary and having some work that needs to be done for school hanging over my head has left me feeling a bit down. I hate feeling like this because sometimes it gets worse before it gets better. I'm finding that the more free time I have the longer it takes me to get stuff done because I am a procrastinator.
Books, books and more books!
I am so fortunate - I have boxes and boxes of books - commentaries and theology and all kinds of stuff donated via pastors who can't take everything with them. Only trouble is that I promised myself I would read 4 fiction books this summer. I've started one while babysitting.
Anyhow, I will have books that I can't use so now I can pass those along to classmates and the library and such. Its interesting looking at someone else's library. Mine is filled with certain books and now that I am growing a bit in my knowledge they are ready to be moved out and given to someone else. It never occurred to me that I would ever get to the point where I would give any away.
So I have committed myself to clearing more of the old stuff out and finding a good home for my new stuff - and I have promised not to buy any more books for some time. And now I need to go to the library and find a fiction book to read - I used to read tons but now it seems like its wasting time to read fiction. Which is stupid because watch way too much TV !
Anyhow, I will have books that I can't use so now I can pass those along to classmates and the library and such. Its interesting looking at someone else's library. Mine is filled with certain books and now that I am growing a bit in my knowledge they are ready to be moved out and given to someone else. It never occurred to me that I would ever get to the point where I would give any away.
So I have committed myself to clearing more of the old stuff out and finding a good home for my new stuff - and I have promised not to buy any more books for some time. And now I need to go to the library and find a fiction book to read - I used to read tons but now it seems like its wasting time to read fiction. Which is stupid because watch way too much TV !
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Friday's Feast - July 18
Appetizer
When was the last time you had your hair cut/trimmed?
About a month ago and I have to say I did not like the job they did. Usually I am very happy but this time it sucks. Need to think about my next cut.
Soup
Name one thing you miss about being a child.
Hmm. I was a very anxious child so I remember a lot of angst. I think growing up in Greenwood, Nova Scotia the first time (we were posted there twice) - from grade 2 to midway through grade 5. It was a blast. Especially going to the HandyStand with 25 cents and picking out penny candy.
Salad
Pick one: butter, margarine, olive oil.
Butter. I'll eat margarine but it wasn't something I suffered through as a child. I always marvelled at friends who had margarine. Yuck.
Main Course
If you could learn another language, which one would you pick, and why?
I think French. Its the "other" language. It would be cool to be able to be understood anywhere in Canada.
Dessert
Finish this sentence: In 5 years I expect to be…
What a scary thought. I should be done my schooling and I guess leading a congregation? I just don't know.
When was the last time you had your hair cut/trimmed?
About a month ago and I have to say I did not like the job they did. Usually I am very happy but this time it sucks. Need to think about my next cut.
Soup
Name one thing you miss about being a child.
Hmm. I was a very anxious child so I remember a lot of angst. I think growing up in Greenwood, Nova Scotia the first time (we were posted there twice) - from grade 2 to midway through grade 5. It was a blast. Especially going to the HandyStand with 25 cents and picking out penny candy.
Salad
Pick one: butter, margarine, olive oil.
Butter. I'll eat margarine but it wasn't something I suffered through as a child. I always marvelled at friends who had margarine. Yuck.
Main Course
If you could learn another language, which one would you pick, and why?
I think French. Its the "other" language. It would be cool to be able to be understood anywhere in Canada.
Dessert
Finish this sentence: In 5 years I expect to be…
What a scary thought. I should be done my schooling and I guess leading a congregation? I just don't know.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Going to Calvin
After a long time of discounting Calvin Seminary, I met with someone to discuss what I would need to do to attend Calvin for 12 weeks after my M. Div. to seek ordination in the CRC.
I can't say why I have changed my mind. I have often thought about it and found many reasons to reject the idea. Most of it has to do with my journey with the CRC which I can't say has been very nuturing.
But it crossed my mind to at least consider it and let someone in the denomination know. And then in a prayer meeting with EK some things were talked about and when I left and again the next morning I knew I had to take the idea more seriously.
I'm not sure what it was exactly. We discussed the influence MB has had on individuals and our church. And I considered what that meant. The church is further ahead then it once was but it is not unified, there are still major problems with discipline and spiritual maturity and yet I can't discount the work that has been done.
Its been hard. Not getting a pastor I admire to be a reference for me for Seminary was a real blow. And maybe that became the point. Always seeking assurance from others has been a necessity of mine. Not getting it from those I value the most has been really hard to take. But I went to seminary anyways, into a program that rejects far more than it accepts. Even after I told them a pastor refused to give me a reference because he felt it would be damaging to my acceptance. That should be enough.
And I think that is the key. People will think poorly of the best of pastors because good pastor afflict the comfortable. I realised that the high standards that we set for our pastors was immobilizing me and not getting the reference had really discouraged me altogether. No matter how much encouragement I get from that source I will always regret the lack of confidence in my ability.
But good people can make mistakes, even in assessing other people's readiness for ministry. Gee, maybe I can allow myself to make a mistake!
So when I think about a denomination that I love sitting with so many empty pulpits and I wonder who will fill them it becomes obvious that I need to ask myself why I refuse to consider it. Most of the reasons I rejected Calvin have been removed - the biggest thing I have now is fear. Fear of not making the cut, of being told I'm not good enough. Which is the same battle I have had for the past years as I discerned my path in ministry. I reacted to all of that criticism by going for counselling and those close to me, really close to me say that I have become a different person - less critical, less reactionary and more gracious. I still have room to grow, no doubt. In some ways I am very sad, as I wonder if I would have gotten to this point if we weren't sitting with an empty pulpit. I am sad that people I love are leaving!
Anyhow, I will have to figure everything out and actually do the real stuff like let Calvin know that I will be applying and get all my transcripts in order. And figure out the year that I will take Hebrew. And catch up my Greek. And ensure that I know each book of the bible, themes, writers, time periods and so on. I have to pull up my socks academically. In the end I have no idea if I want to be a full time pastor in the CRC - it seems so hard, but I have to take this first step in faith. God will block the door if I am totally out to lunch!
Short Cottage Visit
On Monday C and I went to the cottage. We planned to be away for 3 nights, four days. It was a welcome break at the cottage that we have not been able to use much because each summer I have been busy with church work or an internship.
After C checked the cottage very carefully for snakes I ventured in and got settled. I felt very confident about the whole thing.
Then C found a snake at the sliding door in the kitchen. As I watched is slither away quite quickly down the hall I realised that this snake was maybe a bit smaller than the last one - but way too big!
Feeling like an idiot, we packed our bags and headed home. I just couldn't imagine spending 3 nights pondering what was slinking around at night.
C went up today to fix the underbelly of the trailer with the belly wrap and special tape that arrived from the States on Tuesday. He also mowed the lawn, move all of the logs from around the fire pit. He also did a good search around the cottage. However, he did not see any snakes.
So...now that the underbelly is fixed and the cottage is sealed we should be able to go up and enjoy it. I am a bit relieved that we may not have any time for a few weeks because I'm still a bit freaked. I may look into treatment which unfortunately usually requires handling a snake at some point. I know they won't force me to do it until I am ready but the idea freaks me out a bit.
After C checked the cottage very carefully for snakes I ventured in and got settled. I felt very confident about the whole thing.
Then C found a snake at the sliding door in the kitchen. As I watched is slither away quite quickly down the hall I realised that this snake was maybe a bit smaller than the last one - but way too big!
Feeling like an idiot, we packed our bags and headed home. I just couldn't imagine spending 3 nights pondering what was slinking around at night.
C went up today to fix the underbelly of the trailer with the belly wrap and special tape that arrived from the States on Tuesday. He also mowed the lawn, move all of the logs from around the fire pit. He also did a good search around the cottage. However, he did not see any snakes.
So...now that the underbelly is fixed and the cottage is sealed we should be able to go up and enjoy it. I am a bit relieved that we may not have any time for a few weeks because I'm still a bit freaked. I may look into treatment which unfortunately usually requires handling a snake at some point. I know they won't force me to do it until I am ready but the idea freaks me out a bit.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Sermon Response: I Want to Die!
Yes, the response to the sermon in today's worship at the local nursing home was "I want to die!". One resident shouted back "Not here please!". I was sure it was one of our church goers who said it so I was relieved when C assured me it was another resident.
Now either the resident was fed up with the worship or really taken on the theme that ultimately our troubles cease and we find peace with Jesus. I'll have to tone it down next time.
The nursing home worker took him away from the service. We were getting ready to sing a song and I was going to address his concern directly (no I don't mean I was going to kill him, I was going to see if we could pray for him), I figure heckling is part of the deal.....
Now either the resident was fed up with the worship or really taken on the theme that ultimately our troubles cease and we find peace with Jesus. I'll have to tone it down next time.
The nursing home worker took him away from the service. We were getting ready to sing a song and I was going to address his concern directly (no I don't mean I was going to kill him, I was going to see if we could pray for him), I figure heckling is part of the deal.....
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
You've Been Left Behind
I'm not up on my end times theology so for those non-Christians out there I will explain this rather badly. Some believe that at the end of the world the believers will be taken up into heaven while the earth continues to live on for 1000 years. Thus you have probably heard of the "Left Behind" series of books that talks about the end times. For those left behind, life ain't too good.
I'm pretty cynical so I'm still a bit unsure if I believe this but there is a website called You've Been Left Behind. For 40 dollars a year I can have emails ready to send at the end times for my loved ones who have not become Christian. The email will come into your box alerting you to the fact that I have beens swept up into Christ's presence and that it is not too late for you to come to know him.
Now here is how it works. There are staff who must sign into their computer program everyday - at least three. They are located across the country (States). If there are not three signed in over a period of three days then the program launches giving another three day window before the emails are automatically sent out.
Interesting. Now guys, do me a favour and save me 40 bucks a year. If I should disappear, along with many of your friends assume the best - the end times have come. I don't particularly believe in this understanding of the end times, there are lots of different interpretations, so don't wait for me to disappear to ask questions about being Christian. I'm not sure I believe in this second chance business - so don't wait - get your questions in now. Not only will I save 40 bucks but we could have a blast hanging out as Christians!
I'm pretty cynical so I'm still a bit unsure if I believe this but there is a website called You've Been Left Behind. For 40 dollars a year I can have emails ready to send at the end times for my loved ones who have not become Christian. The email will come into your box alerting you to the fact that I have beens swept up into Christ's presence and that it is not too late for you to come to know him.
Now here is how it works. There are staff who must sign into their computer program everyday - at least three. They are located across the country (States). If there are not three signed in over a period of three days then the program launches giving another three day window before the emails are automatically sent out.
Interesting. Now guys, do me a favour and save me 40 bucks a year. If I should disappear, along with many of your friends assume the best - the end times have come. I don't particularly believe in this understanding of the end times, there are lots of different interpretations, so don't wait for me to disappear to ask questions about being Christian. I'm not sure I believe in this second chance business - so don't wait - get your questions in now. Not only will I save 40 bucks but we could have a blast hanging out as Christians!
Friday, July 04, 2008
Preaching Last Week
After being totally overwhelmed with the opportunity to preach at my church and making it the biggest deal it could be I am happy to say that I am still standing.
I go through this everytime, no matter what I do I rarely am satisfied with what was preached. I had some technical problems in my delivery but its more a criticism of how I want it to be delivered and how it actually gets delivered. That might be a good thing.
I think the biggest problem I had was that the message wasn't really what I wanted. It was close but in changing some things to get it approved the focus got thrown where I didn't really intend it to go. It was a good message and I pray that the Holy Spirit did the rest.
And that's the thing I keep telling myself. I can't account for my own sinfulness in the process. I can only try my best and leave the rest to God and let him take it where it needs to go.
I am still in thought about my next one. Its so hard to discern what God wants to say apart from what I think the church needs to hear. I am still working through this - does being called mean that I have any more insight then anyone else as to what is needed? How do I know whether to trust my own instincts and intuition without getting caught up in my own perspective? I can't separate myself from the message - God teaches me a lot through my work on the passages so preaching seems selfish in some respects.
Right now I am thinking about Moses and all the complaining the people had when they were in the desert. A lot of stuff is coming to me about this passage and it will be interesting to see how it turns out! I relate so well with the complainers!
I go through this everytime, no matter what I do I rarely am satisfied with what was preached. I had some technical problems in my delivery but its more a criticism of how I want it to be delivered and how it actually gets delivered. That might be a good thing.
I think the biggest problem I had was that the message wasn't really what I wanted. It was close but in changing some things to get it approved the focus got thrown where I didn't really intend it to go. It was a good message and I pray that the Holy Spirit did the rest.
And that's the thing I keep telling myself. I can't account for my own sinfulness in the process. I can only try my best and leave the rest to God and let him take it where it needs to go.
I am still in thought about my next one. Its so hard to discern what God wants to say apart from what I think the church needs to hear. I am still working through this - does being called mean that I have any more insight then anyone else as to what is needed? How do I know whether to trust my own instincts and intuition without getting caught up in my own perspective? I can't separate myself from the message - God teaches me a lot through my work on the passages so preaching seems selfish in some respects.
Right now I am thinking about Moses and all the complaining the people had when they were in the desert. A lot of stuff is coming to me about this passage and it will be interesting to see how it turns out! I relate so well with the complainers!
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Snakes Alive! - Part 2
After discovering a snake lying in the door to our bedroom which sadly is where the bathroom is I realised a few things:
- everyone lied who told me snakes couldn't possibly get into the cottage
- the underbelly of the trailer where the bathroom is needs to be patched immediately
- it will be impossible for me to ever pee in that bathroom again
Sadly, the other bathroom was out of commission while C repairs a few pipes. And after holding for many, many hours I had to pee. So I send C into the bedroom and bathroom to check it out. He comes back assuring me that there is no culprits lurking.
I shuffle my way over, ensuring that C stays there in case something happens. I look cautiously in the bathroom and lo and behold the toilet seat is down! I ask "Did you lift the lid". No.
Anyone who has ever considered a snake loose in the city knows the fear of going to the toilet at 3:00 a.m. In the light of day, it seems ridiculous to worry about some random culprit popping up but at the "death hour" (most people who die of natural causes die between 3-4 a.m.) fear is ever present.
I assured C that until the seat is lifted and the bowl inspected his check is completely useless.
Now why they decided to put a heat vent right in front of the toilet I don't know. Even before "The Incident" it worried me a bit. But now I need C to stand at the door because I can't possibly scan every entry point on my own.
It gets better. Later in the evening as I started to feel a bit more at ease I finally got up the nerve to have a shower. I told C he had to sit in the bathroom with me because I can't stand not knowing what is going on while I'm in that enclosed space. Idiot. At some point to reassure me that he is still there - he reaches in and pokes me on the back! Once the screaming subsided he understood that there is a reason for all those shower scenes in movies!!
- everyone lied who told me snakes couldn't possibly get into the cottage
- the underbelly of the trailer where the bathroom is needs to be patched immediately
- it will be impossible for me to ever pee in that bathroom again
Sadly, the other bathroom was out of commission while C repairs a few pipes. And after holding for many, many hours I had to pee. So I send C into the bedroom and bathroom to check it out. He comes back assuring me that there is no culprits lurking.
I shuffle my way over, ensuring that C stays there in case something happens. I look cautiously in the bathroom and lo and behold the toilet seat is down! I ask "Did you lift the lid". No.
Anyone who has ever considered a snake loose in the city knows the fear of going to the toilet at 3:00 a.m. In the light of day, it seems ridiculous to worry about some random culprit popping up but at the "death hour" (most people who die of natural causes die between 3-4 a.m.) fear is ever present.
I assured C that until the seat is lifted and the bowl inspected his check is completely useless.
Now why they decided to put a heat vent right in front of the toilet I don't know. Even before "The Incident" it worried me a bit. But now I need C to stand at the door because I can't possibly scan every entry point on my own.
It gets better. Later in the evening as I started to feel a bit more at ease I finally got up the nerve to have a shower. I told C he had to sit in the bathroom with me because I can't stand not knowing what is going on while I'm in that enclosed space. Idiot. At some point to reassure me that he is still there - he reaches in and pokes me on the back! Once the screaming subsided he understood that there is a reason for all those shower scenes in movies!!
Snakes Alive - Part 1
Egads!
Went to the cottage from Monday to Wednesday. Lots of work to do there - the first being the cutting of the grass. It takes about 4 hours to do the whole thing, maybe longer. My better half always starts a section for me so that I can walk in the short grass while I move the long grass. I have a phobia of snakes and it is impossible for me to negotiate long grass!
Well, I got most of the back done but as the front got started I saw a little snake dart under the cottage. Hubby clipped his tail - which grossed me out because somewhere there is a littl snakey tail lying about.
We followed the snake into the back woods, I tried to take an interest hoping that I can get over this fear by sheer willpower. No such luck - after trying to mow the front yard I had to give in to my fear!
So we went inside and played on our ancient Nintendo. While I was playing, C was getting ready to do some work on the water pipe. He comes out of the bedroom and puts on one rubber glove. Thinking he has seen a mouse, I ask him. Nope, he says "there is one in here". A snake is in our cottage!!
I will spare you the hysterical details which basically has me in tears and unable to function. First was the chant "I need to get out of here". Once I was out the chant was "Get IT out". The culprit was about a foot and a half - C agrees with this (I think it was closer to 2 feet but I tend to exagerate in these circumstances).
Different options are explored, along with the mantra "I want to go home". Since it is only Tuesday early afternoon there is a long day and night ahead. I finally find a spot on the deck where I can see everything and keep my feet up. C spends the next four hours working on the water pipe that needs to be replaced.
After four hours I worked up enough courage to consider staying the night. Because I knew that if I went home I would never step foot on the property again. I don't know how I did it because even now I am freaked out. I don't even like typing the S word!
Went to the cottage from Monday to Wednesday. Lots of work to do there - the first being the cutting of the grass. It takes about 4 hours to do the whole thing, maybe longer. My better half always starts a section for me so that I can walk in the short grass while I move the long grass. I have a phobia of snakes and it is impossible for me to negotiate long grass!
Well, I got most of the back done but as the front got started I saw a little snake dart under the cottage. Hubby clipped his tail - which grossed me out because somewhere there is a littl snakey tail lying about.
We followed the snake into the back woods, I tried to take an interest hoping that I can get over this fear by sheer willpower. No such luck - after trying to mow the front yard I had to give in to my fear!
So we went inside and played on our ancient Nintendo. While I was playing, C was getting ready to do some work on the water pipe. He comes out of the bedroom and puts on one rubber glove. Thinking he has seen a mouse, I ask him. Nope, he says "there is one in here". A snake is in our cottage!!
I will spare you the hysterical details which basically has me in tears and unable to function. First was the chant "I need to get out of here". Once I was out the chant was "Get IT out". The culprit was about a foot and a half - C agrees with this (I think it was closer to 2 feet but I tend to exagerate in these circumstances).
Different options are explored, along with the mantra "I want to go home". Since it is only Tuesday early afternoon there is a long day and night ahead. I finally find a spot on the deck where I can see everything and keep my feet up. C spends the next four hours working on the water pipe that needs to be replaced.
After four hours I worked up enough courage to consider staying the night. Because I knew that if I went home I would never step foot on the property again. I don't know how I did it because even now I am freaked out. I don't even like typing the S word!
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Stress Dreams
I get these dreams where the same motif appears when I'm stressed out. Stupid things like trying to drive the car sitting in the wrong place - like the back seat. Spending the whole dream looking for a clean bathroom. Getting on an elevator that shoots past the right floor.
Lately they are slightly different:
- helping some new refugees try to buy clothes - they don't know their size, are stymied by the cost and each get talked into a store credit card in order to get a discount. After the second one, I get the store manager who tells off the sales clerk for giving credit to someone who is going to drown with the interest in a few months. It is also Christmas Eve (a common theme in my stress dreams) and I am trying to finish up these transactions before the stores close.
- a bizarre dream of trying to figure out which "people" are really computers. Shooting them works at first, but then we realise that they have gotten smarter and have started booby trapping themselves to blow up if shot. For some reason I don't actually shoot anyone - but I travel with this person who does the shooting. The stress of not being the shooter is so much about me being a control freak
- lost at York University. My mom and brother come to see a lecture of a favourite professor. My brother goes upstairs to get gum but doesn't come back. I go to look for him and get lost - I know which building I'm supposed to be in but can't figure out how to get there. All the students I stop and ask are night students who have never been in the building I am looking for. I am in a total panic as hours have passed by, we are all separated and I have not taken my cell phone.
And today an afternoon nap has left me with this one (my sermon put me to sleep!). I drive to the church scheduled to preach. The church doesn't look quite the same but I see people I recognize. They give me a white robe to wear. I'm not happy about that - white looks ridiculous to preach in! I try to get the thing on but the arm holes are sewn shut. I curse the pageant director for sewing the sleeves shut in an effort to make angel costumes at Christmas (which makes total sense if you think about them as wings). Meanwhile, I realise I'm running a bit late, there are very few spots at the front to sit and I'm wedged in. I'm surprised to see we have gone the route of drama and sit through a bizarre African inspired offering. I realise at this point that my sermon is sitting on the passenger seat of the car. I try to decide which is worse, whinging it without my notes or leaving the packed church in the middle of service to retrieve my script.
- I also had a funeral home dream - the funeral home that my relatives pick is absolutley crammed with history but also the most chaotic combination of function and display. Old stained glass windows, sitting areas for tea, different rooms where people wait to go to the main chapel for the service. It is run by some old Scottish lady who is actually the cleaner for the church next door. The place is a nightmare and I can't remember why but I walk out of the funeral for some family reason refusing to attend.
- a hospital dream where I still work at the hospital sort of. I get interviewed by a new safety consultant who asks me questions about fire safety. The interview takes place in an open area and the lab techs behind me are whispering and not being very kind. I finally turn my chair sideways but they continue. I insist we move the interview somewhere else. In the new room we are in the interviewer starts clutching his chest. I ask him if he is having a heart attack and then ask if he wants me to call a Code Blue. I pick up the phone but for the life of me I can't remember the number for a Code Blue. I end up going out into the hallway screaming at nurses and techs that I have a Code. They laugh, the few that look like they are concerned at first then start to laugh. I freak out running down to ER to try to find a nurse. I then figure out that the whole thing was BS and it was actually a test to see whether employees felt comfortable in empowerment and confrontation. I promise to sue the b&&&#d for the mental anguish he has put me through - I spend the rest of the dream trying to figure out if it was really a test or if the guy actually died.
I am hoping that after I preach these dreams will go away, I don't normally have so many for so long - these have just been over the past week and they leave me feeling very unsettled - and tired!
Lately they are slightly different:
- helping some new refugees try to buy clothes - they don't know their size, are stymied by the cost and each get talked into a store credit card in order to get a discount. After the second one, I get the store manager who tells off the sales clerk for giving credit to someone who is going to drown with the interest in a few months. It is also Christmas Eve (a common theme in my stress dreams) and I am trying to finish up these transactions before the stores close.
- a bizarre dream of trying to figure out which "people" are really computers. Shooting them works at first, but then we realise that they have gotten smarter and have started booby trapping themselves to blow up if shot. For some reason I don't actually shoot anyone - but I travel with this person who does the shooting. The stress of not being the shooter is so much about me being a control freak
- lost at York University. My mom and brother come to see a lecture of a favourite professor. My brother goes upstairs to get gum but doesn't come back. I go to look for him and get lost - I know which building I'm supposed to be in but can't figure out how to get there. All the students I stop and ask are night students who have never been in the building I am looking for. I am in a total panic as hours have passed by, we are all separated and I have not taken my cell phone.
And today an afternoon nap has left me with this one (my sermon put me to sleep!). I drive to the church scheduled to preach. The church doesn't look quite the same but I see people I recognize. They give me a white robe to wear. I'm not happy about that - white looks ridiculous to preach in! I try to get the thing on but the arm holes are sewn shut. I curse the pageant director for sewing the sleeves shut in an effort to make angel costumes at Christmas (which makes total sense if you think about them as wings). Meanwhile, I realise I'm running a bit late, there are very few spots at the front to sit and I'm wedged in. I'm surprised to see we have gone the route of drama and sit through a bizarre African inspired offering. I realise at this point that my sermon is sitting on the passenger seat of the car. I try to decide which is worse, whinging it without my notes or leaving the packed church in the middle of service to retrieve my script.
- I also had a funeral home dream - the funeral home that my relatives pick is absolutley crammed with history but also the most chaotic combination of function and display. Old stained glass windows, sitting areas for tea, different rooms where people wait to go to the main chapel for the service. It is run by some old Scottish lady who is actually the cleaner for the church next door. The place is a nightmare and I can't remember why but I walk out of the funeral for some family reason refusing to attend.
- a hospital dream where I still work at the hospital sort of. I get interviewed by a new safety consultant who asks me questions about fire safety. The interview takes place in an open area and the lab techs behind me are whispering and not being very kind. I finally turn my chair sideways but they continue. I insist we move the interview somewhere else. In the new room we are in the interviewer starts clutching his chest. I ask him if he is having a heart attack and then ask if he wants me to call a Code Blue. I pick up the phone but for the life of me I can't remember the number for a Code Blue. I end up going out into the hallway screaming at nurses and techs that I have a Code. They laugh, the few that look like they are concerned at first then start to laugh. I freak out running down to ER to try to find a nurse. I then figure out that the whole thing was BS and it was actually a test to see whether employees felt comfortable in empowerment and confrontation. I promise to sue the b&&&#d for the mental anguish he has put me through - I spend the rest of the dream trying to figure out if it was really a test or if the guy actually died.
I am hoping that after I preach these dreams will go away, I don't normally have so many for so long - these have just been over the past week and they leave me feeling very unsettled - and tired!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Etsy
Oh no! I have been introduced to this website called Etsy. Its like ebay but you buy the goods without bidding. Saw some cool things and I have found I have a fondness for old syrupy greeting cards so I bought a few. They are practical because they can be used and they end up cheaper then store bought as long as you are careful with the shipping costs.
I spent so much time on their last night - but it didn't interupt my work because I was supposed to be sleeping!
I spent so much time on their last night - but it didn't interupt my work because I was supposed to be sleeping!
Where Have I Been?
I can't believe I haven't posted in so long. I had a great birthday, had lunch with a friend and the time flew. Another friend had a successful surgery. Ooh, I got a glass teapot with those flowers that "bloom" in the water. I have wanted one for a while.
Its been a fast few weeks. Preached and have another date this Sunday. Still have one easy peasy paper to do which really should have been done last week. I vow to have it finished soon!
Spent the afternoon working on my WillowdaleCares church network. Creating a registration form for churches who want to join. And I got business cards last night. I'm a bit worried that this will fizzle but I have back up plans and lots of ideas for community ministry in the fall!
Its been a fast few weeks. Preached and have another date this Sunday. Still have one easy peasy paper to do which really should have been done last week. I vow to have it finished soon!
Spent the afternoon working on my WillowdaleCares church network. Creating a registration form for churches who want to join. And I got business cards last night. I'm a bit worried that this will fizzle but I have back up plans and lots of ideas for community ministry in the fall!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
I'm only 42!!!!
I am so excited - I just gained a year of youth. I just figured out that I am only turning 42 this year. I don't know when it happened but at some point I started thinking I already was 42. I never used to care about this stuff until I turned 39. How does someone forget how old they are? - I guess when they get old they forget ;)
Sunday, June 08, 2008
revgalblogpals Five Questions
Grammatical Pet Peeve
I keep getting "passive voice consider revising" on my grammar check. Problem is my grammar is so bad that I don't know what that means. I asked a teacher and she didn't know either - though we both went to very good schools, grammar was not taught. So my pet peeve is more about me and what I can't do then what others do.
Household Pet Peeve
It drives me crazy that my husband puts dirty dishes in the sink. We have a dishwasher - if he put them in there right away I could actually use the sink for other things. On the other hand he does all the cooking so probably I should be putting everything away!
Arts and Entertainment Pet Peeve
I can not stand it when people talk during a movie. I even get uptight during the previews.
Liturgical Pet Peeve
It bugs me that we expect parishioners to understand the flow of the liturgy but we do nothing to educate them. I learned what I know from Bible college. Many of my fellow students don't even see the need for it and yet I think it forces us to do what is needed. Worship isn't about performance its about connecting with God and the saints and how can you do this without first acknowledging him, our sins, our need for grace and so on?
Wild Card
I sat in a church service where there was a lot of whispering going on. During the sermon. During the congregational prayer. Parents were present. I do not understand this - I have never experienced this before. If the children were young or if the family had never been to church before I could understand it. I had to move in the end which was embarassing for me because I tried to ignore it but found it hard to really take in the sermon. Why would anyone do this? Do they realise that the preacher is very aware of what people are doing in the pews?
Bonus - what do I do that would be a pet peeve for others?
I'm afraid to mention all of the annoying things because if they hadn't been obvious they will be now:
I talk to myself while I work. I am sure that this has driven people crazy in the past. I do it especially when I am concentrating.
I tend to interupt people. Its not that I mean too, I just get too excited. I love sharing ideas - but I guess its not really sharing if you aren't listening to the other person.
I get into rants. Drives my husband crazy - we had an encounter in Sears with two salespeople offering assistance in selling us a bed. I was so put off that I ranted all the way out of the parking lot. My husband rarely rants. He just pronounces - "That's stupid." No commentary.
When I change seats during a sermon :)
I keep getting "passive voice consider revising" on my grammar check. Problem is my grammar is so bad that I don't know what that means. I asked a teacher and she didn't know either - though we both went to very good schools, grammar was not taught. So my pet peeve is more about me and what I can't do then what others do.
Household Pet Peeve
It drives me crazy that my husband puts dirty dishes in the sink. We have a dishwasher - if he put them in there right away I could actually use the sink for other things. On the other hand he does all the cooking so probably I should be putting everything away!
Arts and Entertainment Pet Peeve
I can not stand it when people talk during a movie. I even get uptight during the previews.
Liturgical Pet Peeve
It bugs me that we expect parishioners to understand the flow of the liturgy but we do nothing to educate them. I learned what I know from Bible college. Many of my fellow students don't even see the need for it and yet I think it forces us to do what is needed. Worship isn't about performance its about connecting with God and the saints and how can you do this without first acknowledging him, our sins, our need for grace and so on?
Wild Card
I sat in a church service where there was a lot of whispering going on. During the sermon. During the congregational prayer. Parents were present. I do not understand this - I have never experienced this before. If the children were young or if the family had never been to church before I could understand it. I had to move in the end which was embarassing for me because I tried to ignore it but found it hard to really take in the sermon. Why would anyone do this? Do they realise that the preacher is very aware of what people are doing in the pews?
Bonus - what do I do that would be a pet peeve for others?
I'm afraid to mention all of the annoying things because if they hadn't been obvious they will be now:
I talk to myself while I work. I am sure that this has driven people crazy in the past. I do it especially when I am concentrating.
I tend to interupt people. Its not that I mean too, I just get too excited. I love sharing ideas - but I guess its not really sharing if you aren't listening to the other person.
I get into rants. Drives my husband crazy - we had an encounter in Sears with two salespeople offering assistance in selling us a bed. I was so put off that I ranted all the way out of the parking lot. My husband rarely rants. He just pronounces - "That's stupid." No commentary.
When I change seats during a sermon :)
Feast June 6th
Appetizer
When you drink soda/pop/coke, do you prefer to drink it from the bottle, a can, or after pouring it into a cup?
This is going to sound weird, at least I haven't found anyone else that experiences this.... I hate drinking from the bottle or the can or through a straw. I find the concentration of bubbles too breath taking. This is before my weight gain so its not related to being unhealthy, just a weird sensation that I can't catch my breath. So, I like my pop in a glass. I also think its cute but unnecessary when men want to pour my beer into a glass even though they are drinking from the bottle/can.
Soup
What television show are you willing to stay up late to watch?
I rarely tape shows so I either stay up or decide to miss them. There is no middle ground. There are a ton of shows I don't see very often and are hard to rent - Vicar of Dibley, Absolutely Fabulous - the British sitcoms with the better writing.
Salad
Name one person, place, or thing you think of as brilliant.
Right now I am really taken with the North York Public Library. I'm going to use it somewhere in a sermon. You can do almost anything there -take classes - they have one on building a skateboard, watch a movie, practice your english, learn to read, rent rooms. They have lots of info on careers and local history. Right now they are holding seminars for seniors. They have a far larger mandate then lending books - it is really a place for different community members to connect and find resources for daily living. I think that this is brilliant.
Main Course
Would you be willing to work 4 10-hour days instead of 5 8-hour days in order to save gas?
Absolutely, but then I would do it to get the extra day off!
Dessert
If you were a superhero, what would you call yourself?
So far I haven't found a reason to change my name.
When you drink soda/pop/coke, do you prefer to drink it from the bottle, a can, or after pouring it into a cup?
This is going to sound weird, at least I haven't found anyone else that experiences this.... I hate drinking from the bottle or the can or through a straw. I find the concentration of bubbles too breath taking. This is before my weight gain so its not related to being unhealthy, just a weird sensation that I can't catch my breath. So, I like my pop in a glass. I also think its cute but unnecessary when men want to pour my beer into a glass even though they are drinking from the bottle/can.
Soup
What television show are you willing to stay up late to watch?
I rarely tape shows so I either stay up or decide to miss them. There is no middle ground. There are a ton of shows I don't see very often and are hard to rent - Vicar of Dibley, Absolutely Fabulous - the British sitcoms with the better writing.
Salad
Name one person, place, or thing you think of as brilliant.
Right now I am really taken with the North York Public Library. I'm going to use it somewhere in a sermon. You can do almost anything there -take classes - they have one on building a skateboard, watch a movie, practice your english, learn to read, rent rooms. They have lots of info on careers and local history. Right now they are holding seminars for seniors. They have a far larger mandate then lending books - it is really a place for different community members to connect and find resources for daily living. I think that this is brilliant.
Main Course
Would you be willing to work 4 10-hour days instead of 5 8-hour days in order to save gas?
Absolutely, but then I would do it to get the extra day off!
Dessert
If you were a superhero, what would you call yourself?
So far I haven't found a reason to change my name.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
I love the stats.
I have a feeling that I have been slightly depressed for most of winter from January on. Lately, I seem to have a lot more energy to get things done. I have been working on a research paper looking at stats in North York and getting tons of ideas and I still have energy left to do other things. I don't seem to need the same number of naps either.
I love looking at stats and trying to make sense of them. The area around the church is very interesting in just how boring the stats are. We have a low teen pregnancy rate, lower obesity rate, smoking rate and less poverty then other areas just south and west of the church and when compared to the Toronto average. The rate of getting flu shots and vaccines and screening tests is higher than the Toronto average as well. Some of this has to be due to the higher income levels but even so I am surprised that the few area around us is so different then to the east or the south. Also, and this was really surprising,we have a higher number of youth 15-24 then compared to the Toronto average. Yet for years the church has said that there are no young people here because it is too expensive. The only areas that seem to stand out is a slightly higher average of mental health visits and a much higher incidence of heart problems. Perhaps the stress of trying to be too happy!?
Its going to be interesting to try to figure out what this means as a church. For one thing we can't ignore that the idea of serving the community through giving handouts is not going to be effective for the average person. As my prof explained to me, the people in this area can afford to buy what they need - including English classes. Instead our rather traditional churches in the area may just have to actually engage in a postmodern world where the church's role as soup kitchens and food banks no longer engages the majority of those we are meant to serve.
I did some canvassing for the Cancer Society in the neighbourhood and found that during the day and on Saturday mornings the place is a ghost town with the exception of a few grandparents caring for pre-school children. Evenings is when the community are actually at home. How do you create a sense of neighbourhood when everyone has communities outside of their street - schools, work, shopping, activities at clubs?
I am at a complete loss - maybe because I was never interested in my community myself - I don't know my neighbours and make connections in other places. I'm going to have to do a lot of praying and thinking about this.
I love looking at stats and trying to make sense of them. The area around the church is very interesting in just how boring the stats are. We have a low teen pregnancy rate, lower obesity rate, smoking rate and less poverty then other areas just south and west of the church and when compared to the Toronto average. The rate of getting flu shots and vaccines and screening tests is higher than the Toronto average as well. Some of this has to be due to the higher income levels but even so I am surprised that the few area around us is so different then to the east or the south. Also, and this was really surprising,we have a higher number of youth 15-24 then compared to the Toronto average. Yet for years the church has said that there are no young people here because it is too expensive. The only areas that seem to stand out is a slightly higher average of mental health visits and a much higher incidence of heart problems. Perhaps the stress of trying to be too happy!?
Its going to be interesting to try to figure out what this means as a church. For one thing we can't ignore that the idea of serving the community through giving handouts is not going to be effective for the average person. As my prof explained to me, the people in this area can afford to buy what they need - including English classes. Instead our rather traditional churches in the area may just have to actually engage in a postmodern world where the church's role as soup kitchens and food banks no longer engages the majority of those we are meant to serve.
I did some canvassing for the Cancer Society in the neighbourhood and found that during the day and on Saturday mornings the place is a ghost town with the exception of a few grandparents caring for pre-school children. Evenings is when the community are actually at home. How do you create a sense of neighbourhood when everyone has communities outside of their street - schools, work, shopping, activities at clubs?
I am at a complete loss - maybe because I was never interested in my community myself - I don't know my neighbours and make connections in other places. I'm going to have to do a lot of praying and thinking about this.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Grace - I don't have enough
Imagine taking someone you really have a hard time spending time with and bringing them to your place of peace. That's what's going on in my life right now!
I have elected to bring someone I know to church who I just don't get along with. I try to, and I do pray about it - but not enough. This person says a lot of careless things in public and if you try to set the record straight you end up going down a very convoluted garden path. At the end I am usually more frustrated then when I started and still nothing is acknowleged.
Today for instance. After asking this person many times if they wanted to go to church with us and being given reasons for not going she tells people today that she is so happy to be back and has missed coming for a long time. Since she can't get to church without us, this ends up sounding like we have been keeping her from coming. Later she tells one of the pastoral workers that she had a beautiful cross that she got years ago which she no longer has and that she has wanted a new cross for soooo long. The person winked at me and said that maybe for a birthday or Christmas a little bird will whisper this to someone. Okay, how about for the last 20 birthdays and Christmases and Mother's Days. I have never heard her wish for a cross, ever. Then she indicates how she has asked her daughter to take her to Chinatown but she can "ask and ask" but she still doesn't get to go. Chinatown? Since when? Apparently she wants to go to Chinatown to get the cross. I still have not determined why Chinatown and could see that I wasn't going to find out why. Maybe she wants a jade one. Anyhow, I suggested over lunch that perhaps Chinatown would not be that fun of a trip for her as there is no parking and getting around the street and in the tightly packed stores might be difficult with a walker. She has a hard time negotiating getting to and from the bathroom in the restaurant so I can't imagine us joslting around in the crowd. We offered to drive through Chinatown to see if she would like to try it out some time but she didn't want to bother.
So, it is impossible to meet her needs because she never tells you what she needs. I end up getting helpful advice from parishioners who think after talking to her that we need a little push to bring her to church or to take her to get groceries.
My husband has learned to ignore all of this. I still haven't learned how to and I noticed today he lost his cool before I did. As she is waiting for us in the car to get her walker out of the back seat she lit up a cigarette. I stared in disbelief. We have told her in no uncertain terms that we can not stand the smell of cigarette smoke. For the first time in a long time I couldn't think of what to say I was so dumbfounded. My husband told her that this was unacceptable and she claimed that since her legs are partway out of the car that she considered herself to be out of the car.
I'm at a loss. I can try to ignore her behaviour but am having a hard time doing this. It took 5 tries for the waiter to take her meal order because she couldn't decide. She wanted something with fries. We suggested about 10 options - she didn't want the fish and chips because it isn't made with shark like it is in Australia. I suggested to her that she has had fish and chips plenty of times in Canada since moving here and the lack of shark was never an issue at that time. See, I should not say anything. My husband blanks out during these conversations. But I am stubborn and want to have a relationship other than blanking out and ignoring. So I need to learn a lot of grace. I think this is probably the hardest person for me to get along with (it didn't help that her attitude towards me sucked when we first got engaged) and she isn't going to change. So I have to learn to stop caring what other people think of us when they talk to her. If she wants to tell the care worker that we are too busy to take her shopping then I just have to let it go. Somehow. Or figure out why she does that.
I have elected to bring someone I know to church who I just don't get along with. I try to, and I do pray about it - but not enough. This person says a lot of careless things in public and if you try to set the record straight you end up going down a very convoluted garden path. At the end I am usually more frustrated then when I started and still nothing is acknowleged.
Today for instance. After asking this person many times if they wanted to go to church with us and being given reasons for not going she tells people today that she is so happy to be back and has missed coming for a long time. Since she can't get to church without us, this ends up sounding like we have been keeping her from coming. Later she tells one of the pastoral workers that she had a beautiful cross that she got years ago which she no longer has and that she has wanted a new cross for soooo long. The person winked at me and said that maybe for a birthday or Christmas a little bird will whisper this to someone. Okay, how about for the last 20 birthdays and Christmases and Mother's Days. I have never heard her wish for a cross, ever. Then she indicates how she has asked her daughter to take her to Chinatown but she can "ask and ask" but she still doesn't get to go. Chinatown? Since when? Apparently she wants to go to Chinatown to get the cross. I still have not determined why Chinatown and could see that I wasn't going to find out why. Maybe she wants a jade one. Anyhow, I suggested over lunch that perhaps Chinatown would not be that fun of a trip for her as there is no parking and getting around the street and in the tightly packed stores might be difficult with a walker. She has a hard time negotiating getting to and from the bathroom in the restaurant so I can't imagine us joslting around in the crowd. We offered to drive through Chinatown to see if she would like to try it out some time but she didn't want to bother.
So, it is impossible to meet her needs because she never tells you what she needs. I end up getting helpful advice from parishioners who think after talking to her that we need a little push to bring her to church or to take her to get groceries.
My husband has learned to ignore all of this. I still haven't learned how to and I noticed today he lost his cool before I did. As she is waiting for us in the car to get her walker out of the back seat she lit up a cigarette. I stared in disbelief. We have told her in no uncertain terms that we can not stand the smell of cigarette smoke. For the first time in a long time I couldn't think of what to say I was so dumbfounded. My husband told her that this was unacceptable and she claimed that since her legs are partway out of the car that she considered herself to be out of the car.
I'm at a loss. I can try to ignore her behaviour but am having a hard time doing this. It took 5 tries for the waiter to take her meal order because she couldn't decide. She wanted something with fries. We suggested about 10 options - she didn't want the fish and chips because it isn't made with shark like it is in Australia. I suggested to her that she has had fish and chips plenty of times in Canada since moving here and the lack of shark was never an issue at that time. See, I should not say anything. My husband blanks out during these conversations. But I am stubborn and want to have a relationship other than blanking out and ignoring. So I need to learn a lot of grace. I think this is probably the hardest person for me to get along with (it didn't help that her attitude towards me sucked when we first got engaged) and she isn't going to change. So I have to learn to stop caring what other people think of us when they talk to her. If she wants to tell the care worker that we are too busy to take her shopping then I just have to let it go. Somehow. Or figure out why she does that.
Boasting
So after my boasting about how well my preaching went, don't we have a sermon about how we shouldn't boast. I've been processing that for a few weeks now because I have noticed that our church very down on compliments. I have received a few compliments which started out nice but ended with "but you are not perfect". I finally called this person on it because I would rather not get any compliment - I never remember anything nice that is said to me if it is followed up with a "but". To me the "but" is the real intended message. That's my sensitivity showing through. If you think about examples from life the "but" message is usually there for a reason. So it seems as thought there is a distaste for giving a compliment lest it makes us as humans think we can do anything good apart from God. The theologians out there probably note that this is an extreme reaction to Calvinism - that man can do not good on his own apart from God.
So after feeling very upset and down about the boasting I thought about the role of motivation. I don't get excited about preaching because of what I can or can not do. I do get excited about preaching because I believe it proclaims what God has to say to us. I am pleased that I communicated the text technically well - because if I don't communicate well then the Holy Spirit has to do a lot more work and I have to question whether I am in the right field. Anyhow, I have been thinking about this and feeling torn about it. It seems that if I do poorly then its my fault and if I do well, then its God's doing. I have been doing a lot of reading about Calvinism lately in order to ensure that my sermons for W are above reproach theologically. I think we can over apply the principles so that we become very neurotic, solemn people.
So after feeling very upset and down about the boasting I thought about the role of motivation. I don't get excited about preaching because of what I can or can not do. I do get excited about preaching because I believe it proclaims what God has to say to us. I am pleased that I communicated the text technically well - because if I don't communicate well then the Holy Spirit has to do a lot more work and I have to question whether I am in the right field. Anyhow, I have been thinking about this and feeling torn about it. It seems that if I do poorly then its my fault and if I do well, then its God's doing. I have been doing a lot of reading about Calvinism lately in order to ensure that my sermons for W are above reproach theologically. I think we can over apply the principles so that we become very neurotic, solemn people.
Friday's Feast
For those of you how are faithful to the Friday's Feast site you know that the chef is on vacation so yes, this is an entry from earlier in May that I never used.
Appetizer
When someone smiles at you, do you smile back?
It depends. Sometimes I'm walking along and someone smiles and I notice too late. I love smiling back at children, especially the young ones because they just expect you to.
Soup
Describe the flooring in your home. Do you have carpet, hardwood, vinyl, a mix?
The floor is hardwood. The parts you can see. We only have a rug under the dining room table. The living room needs to be redone, we did it when we moved it and I think we maybe should have done a few more coats of treatment. I don't really want to do it again - sanding the wood down requires a completely empty room and takes a few days if you want to let the layers dry properly.
Salad
Write a sentence with only 5 words, but all of the words have to start with the first letter of your first name.
The great thing about Friday's Feast unlike baby showers, lingerie parties and other uncomfortable settings is that I don't have to do things I don't want to.
Main Course
Do you know anyone whose life has been touched by adoption?
My husband and his siblings were all adopted - from different parents. My dad was adopted. My good friend in high school gave up her baby for adoption.
Dessert
Name 2 blue things.
The first thing that springs into my mind are blue Smarties. I have a friend who believes that there should not be any processed blue food in the world and the blue smarties cause her problems. I tend to concur - the blue is a bit too bright.
Another blue thing - hmm, I guess the next answer that comes to my mind is the sky.
Appetizer
When someone smiles at you, do you smile back?
It depends. Sometimes I'm walking along and someone smiles and I notice too late. I love smiling back at children, especially the young ones because they just expect you to.
Soup
Describe the flooring in your home. Do you have carpet, hardwood, vinyl, a mix?
The floor is hardwood. The parts you can see. We only have a rug under the dining room table. The living room needs to be redone, we did it when we moved it and I think we maybe should have done a few more coats of treatment. I don't really want to do it again - sanding the wood down requires a completely empty room and takes a few days if you want to let the layers dry properly.
Salad
Write a sentence with only 5 words, but all of the words have to start with the first letter of your first name.
The great thing about Friday's Feast unlike baby showers, lingerie parties and other uncomfortable settings is that I don't have to do things I don't want to.
Main Course
Do you know anyone whose life has been touched by adoption?
My husband and his siblings were all adopted - from different parents. My dad was adopted. My good friend in high school gave up her baby for adoption.
Dessert
Name 2 blue things.
The first thing that springs into my mind are blue Smarties. I have a friend who believes that there should not be any processed blue food in the world and the blue smarties cause her problems. I tend to concur - the blue is a bit too bright.
Another blue thing - hmm, I guess the next answer that comes to my mind is the sky.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Friday's Feast
Appetizer
What is the nearest big city to your home?
I'm living in the biggest city!
Soup
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how well do you keep secrets?
Hmm, I tell my husband almost everything. If I don't include him I'm probably a nine or a ten.
Main Course
What kind of driver are you? Courteous? Aggressive? Slow?
I'm courteous - I always let people in, am very gracious around new drivers. But, I can be aggressive if I am stressed and someone rides my butt, honks or cuts me off dangerously. Long before I get bitchy at home or irritable around others I get road rage in response to bad driving. I've learned that as soon as that happens its time to take stock of what's going on in ministry and at home. Its actually dangerous because when I get in that frame of mind I would have no problem getting out and telling someone off for their dangerous driving. Nowadays that can cost you your life!
Dessert
When was the last time you had a really bad week?
Hmm, I've had some weeks that just went from bad to worse. But I don't remember when - probably when I decided to leave my last job.
What is the nearest big city to your home?
I'm living in the biggest city!
Soup
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how well do you keep secrets?
Hmm, I tell my husband almost everything. If I don't include him I'm probably a nine or a ten.
Main Course
What kind of driver are you? Courteous? Aggressive? Slow?
I'm courteous - I always let people in, am very gracious around new drivers. But, I can be aggressive if I am stressed and someone rides my butt, honks or cuts me off dangerously. Long before I get bitchy at home or irritable around others I get road rage in response to bad driving. I've learned that as soon as that happens its time to take stock of what's going on in ministry and at home. Its actually dangerous because when I get in that frame of mind I would have no problem getting out and telling someone off for their dangerous driving. Nowadays that can cost you your life!
Dessert
When was the last time you had a really bad week?
Hmm, I've had some weeks that just went from bad to worse. But I don't remember when - probably when I decided to leave my last job.
Eat at McDonald's Day
Okay, here is my solution to my rant. I want to get a group of people to come to the specified McDonald's and everyone special order. My special order is Big Mac, half sauce no lettuce. Richard likes Big Mac extra sauce no pickles - and he is a freak about the ice in the pop. If I can get 20 people to randomly trickle in with these special orders I can bring the McDonald's Corporation to its knees. Only when Nahid is working though.
At least I got served - but then again I have arms: check this out:
http://www.wrex.com/News/index.php?ID=19532
At least I got served - but then again I have arms: check this out:
http://www.wrex.com/News/index.php?ID=19532
McDonald's Rant
Look at this order:
1 Bacon Angus Meal
1 6 Nuggets Meal
1 Big Mac Special Order Meal
1 Big Mac Meal
3 Qtr Cheese Burger Meal
2 McChicken Meal
1 4 Nugget Happy Meal
9 Medium Fry
3 Medium Ice Tea
1 Medium Sprite No Ice
1 Medium Sprite
1 Medium Coke No Ice
1 Medium Diet Coke
2 white milk
1 chocolate milke
Total 65.88
There are a total of 10 meals here. However, this order totally caused chaos at our McDonald's at 9:30 p.m. There was no one else in line and at least 7 staff on. After putting in the order the shift manager had to put in a code to authorise it. She made a comment about the length of time it would take while she did that. She then was at the other cash telling a customer - its going to be half-an-hour if you want to order anything - like my whole screen is full. She also made a comment that she needed "8: fries.
I finally had enough at that point and demanded to know what the issue was. The clerk serving us tried to say that the other girl didn't mean anything by it, its just a big order. She chimes in "yeah, its a big order". So I'm like, what's the deal with telling people that our order is causing others to wait half an hour? She indicates that the other customer is an employee. And again, its a large order. And I say yeah, and we just paid 65 bucks for it.
Crappy customer service is my biggest peeve - for one simple reason - its usually because the person does not have the decency to be polite. We were originally going to go through the drive through because we felt bad unleashing 3 teens, 2 pre teens and 2 children onto the restaurant. But we figured this would be far better than trying to coordinate the orders through the drive through.
Then another staff member, to make a point, says "I have never seen an order this big since I started here two years ago". Huh, its ten blasted meals! I'm not ordering Peking Duck for 30 - I'm ordering s**t on a bun. Microwave it and throw it between a bun. I'm ordering 9 orders of fries - stick the basket in the oil and pop them out!
I've been in McDonald's at lunchtime when offices have put there orders in and they have had to use a separate cash and workers because the order is large.
Anyhow, I'm pissed. I'm pissed that we are paying to eat crap on a bun and instead of being pleased that we are eating there we are throwing off their routine. In fact, we would have been pleased to do the orders in sets of three if it would have helped.
I just hate inconveniencing retailers with my business!
1 Bacon Angus Meal
1 6 Nuggets Meal
1 Big Mac Special Order Meal
1 Big Mac Meal
3 Qtr Cheese Burger Meal
2 McChicken Meal
1 4 Nugget Happy Meal
9 Medium Fry
3 Medium Ice Tea
1 Medium Sprite No Ice
1 Medium Sprite
1 Medium Coke No Ice
1 Medium Diet Coke
2 white milk
1 chocolate milke
Total 65.88
There are a total of 10 meals here. However, this order totally caused chaos at our McDonald's at 9:30 p.m. There was no one else in line and at least 7 staff on. After putting in the order the shift manager had to put in a code to authorise it. She made a comment about the length of time it would take while she did that. She then was at the other cash telling a customer - its going to be half-an-hour if you want to order anything - like my whole screen is full. She also made a comment that she needed "8: fries.
I finally had enough at that point and demanded to know what the issue was. The clerk serving us tried to say that the other girl didn't mean anything by it, its just a big order. She chimes in "yeah, its a big order". So I'm like, what's the deal with telling people that our order is causing others to wait half an hour? She indicates that the other customer is an employee. And again, its a large order. And I say yeah, and we just paid 65 bucks for it.
Crappy customer service is my biggest peeve - for one simple reason - its usually because the person does not have the decency to be polite. We were originally going to go through the drive through because we felt bad unleashing 3 teens, 2 pre teens and 2 children onto the restaurant. But we figured this would be far better than trying to coordinate the orders through the drive through.
Then another staff member, to make a point, says "I have never seen an order this big since I started here two years ago". Huh, its ten blasted meals! I'm not ordering Peking Duck for 30 - I'm ordering s**t on a bun. Microwave it and throw it between a bun. I'm ordering 9 orders of fries - stick the basket in the oil and pop them out!
I've been in McDonald's at lunchtime when offices have put there orders in and they have had to use a separate cash and workers because the order is large.
Anyhow, I'm pissed. I'm pissed that we are paying to eat crap on a bun and instead of being pleased that we are eating there we are throwing off their routine. In fact, we would have been pleased to do the orders in sets of three if it would have helped.
I just hate inconveniencing retailers with my business!
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Preaching Dates
Here are my dates for preaching:
June 15 - Calvary Baptist (Main and Kingston Road)
July 6 - Willowdale Christian Reformed
July 27 Willowdale Christian Reformed
June 15 - Calvary Baptist (Main and Kingston Road)
July 6 - Willowdale Christian Reformed
July 27 Willowdale Christian Reformed
A Good Day Today
Every now and then you have a day that just shines. For me that usually means that I am very pleased with myself. Which is egotistical I know, but there are so few times when I am pleased that these days are rare.
I preached today in class, and though my presentation wasn't as good as always - I didn't have time to memorize the sermon so used my notes, I felt that it was a good sermon. I did what I set out to do and can only hope the Holy Spirit did what was needed. Now I say this was a good day because the prof who is from Knox Presbyterian thanked me for the sermon and said that it was... whatever he said. I've never preached in front of him and he is from a large church and is Presbyterian so I am feeling that at least in this critical arena I did something right. Even better is my program director who I have learned is not very expressive. He said that he missed lunch to hear my sermon which I thought was very nice, then he said "and it was worth it". He is not usually a compliment giver so I was really surprised. He is always very gracious and accepting but just doesn't spontaneously give affirmation. I get my actual analysis of how I did next week from him but I feel pretty good. Now the thing about preaching is that good and bad don't really mean anything because the Spirit does the convicting. But technically it must have been okay.
I led the class in a new song today - which if I hadn't been so tired I would have actually practiced first. It was really hard at first because I don't sing and without music I'm not really sure what key or range or whatever I'm supposed to be in. I usually try to figure out from the person next to me. But I was resolved to do this feat and taught them a simple benediction. I felt a bit self conscious - there is nothing worse then hearing your own voice as other silently listen to learn the tune. But its a safe place to do this and I was just relieved that I went ahead and did it in spite of being embarassed.
Here's the funny bit which was the icing on the cake - during lunch one of the guys asked me if I had seen Sweeney Todd because I sing just like some actress - I don't know her name - Helen Botham Carter or something. I wasn't sure what to say - I must have looked a bit taken aback so he said that this was actually a compliment. I told him I feel sorry for her - I can't imagine what we could have in common. He did seem to think it was a compliment. So, I have held off on trying to find a clip of this actress' singing because I really can't imagine it. Someone else chimed in that I have a beautiful voice. I really don't know what to think. Did you see the Seinfeld episode where a doctor calls Elaine "breathtaking" and then uses the same word to describe the world's ugliest baby? I'm sort of in that mode of thinking right now.
I preached today in class, and though my presentation wasn't as good as always - I didn't have time to memorize the sermon so used my notes, I felt that it was a good sermon. I did what I set out to do and can only hope the Holy Spirit did what was needed. Now I say this was a good day because the prof who is from Knox Presbyterian thanked me for the sermon and said that it was... whatever he said. I've never preached in front of him and he is from a large church and is Presbyterian so I am feeling that at least in this critical arena I did something right. Even better is my program director who I have learned is not very expressive. He said that he missed lunch to hear my sermon which I thought was very nice, then he said "and it was worth it". He is not usually a compliment giver so I was really surprised. He is always very gracious and accepting but just doesn't spontaneously give affirmation. I get my actual analysis of how I did next week from him but I feel pretty good. Now the thing about preaching is that good and bad don't really mean anything because the Spirit does the convicting. But technically it must have been okay.
I led the class in a new song today - which if I hadn't been so tired I would have actually practiced first. It was really hard at first because I don't sing and without music I'm not really sure what key or range or whatever I'm supposed to be in. I usually try to figure out from the person next to me. But I was resolved to do this feat and taught them a simple benediction. I felt a bit self conscious - there is nothing worse then hearing your own voice as other silently listen to learn the tune. But its a safe place to do this and I was just relieved that I went ahead and did it in spite of being embarassed.
Here's the funny bit which was the icing on the cake - during lunch one of the guys asked me if I had seen Sweeney Todd because I sing just like some actress - I don't know her name - Helen Botham Carter or something. I wasn't sure what to say - I must have looked a bit taken aback so he said that this was actually a compliment. I told him I feel sorry for her - I can't imagine what we could have in common. He did seem to think it was a compliment. So, I have held off on trying to find a clip of this actress' singing because I really can't imagine it. Someone else chimed in that I have a beautiful voice. I really don't know what to think. Did you see the Seinfeld episode where a doctor calls Elaine "breathtaking" and then uses the same word to describe the world's ugliest baby? I'm sort of in that mode of thinking right now.
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Mothers' Day
Hmm. My brother and I offered to buy my mom a dollhouse to celebrate her retirement - up to a cost of 400 dollars. She has since decided that that is too much money and she is not ready for building a dollhouse. She would like a calligraphy set instead which is much less expensive. Besides, we will need some money to buy her a small gift for Mothers' Day. Huh? I didn't realize we were buying her a gift - I've booked an expensive restaurant and am arranging a corsage. Now she doesn't want anything expensive - but that isn't really the point. I know my brother is going to freak about this. So I have a few choices - just do what makes her happy and buy a gift and stick my brother's name on it (so he will be happy too), ignore the whole thing, or discuss it with my brother. The most peaceful option is number 1. But this is pretty much continuing the expectation. Since its the thought that counts - well I guess it will be a shitty gift no matter what I get her!!
My other mother never expects a gift. Which makes buying one all the more pleasing.
My other mother never expects a gift. Which makes buying one all the more pleasing.
Monday, May 05, 2008
Honestly, my last post about this!
Okay, I give up. There is nothing sacred anymore. Check out myfunkyfuneral.com. They "put the fun back in funeral" and as they say "you are going to die so why not die with us" For 10 US you can fill out a form for your final wishes which you can email to your family. One of their links took me to a specialized coffin store that was commission to create the ballet shoe coffin.
I don't have a problem with funky coffins and such - but I do think that your final wishes could be delivered to loved ones in a more personal way then email. Really.
Obviously people are searching for a meaning to death, just more signs of a post-Christendom society.
Ask a Stupid Question....
Yup, I had no idea how bizarre people have gotten. EternalAscent will launch a portion of the cremains in a 5 foot helium ballon - it will travel 5 miles upwards before exploding - with the ashes being taken along by the wind. You can't put all 4-5 pounds of the ashes in the balloon so there are still some decisions to be made. If you are looking to create a franchise in your neighourhood look no farther: www.eternalascent.com
Scattering Gardens - Cremated Remains
All this funeral talk is buzzing in my head as we are helping a relative preplan their arrangements.
Disposal of the cremains seems to be an issue for people in my family. My father didn't want me to bother picking them up, my mother says I can flush them for all she cares and the most current relative isn't sure. She just wants to be put in the same container with her husband. Problem is there is no room in that container and I really don't want them sitting in my living room. Scattering seems like an option.
Here's the thing. There is a lot to scatter. If you haven't dealt with this, take my word for it that this is not just something that will be lightly carried along with the breeze. Also, most places do not allow scattering. Of course no one's to know if you do it surreptiously - I had a friend who snuck her mother onto the beach in Florida, but it would be nice to do it openly instead of in the dead of night.
So cemetery's now have scattering gardens. Its a nice area of the cemetery set aside for this purpose. Here's what I don't get, what happens after the scattering? It wouldn't take long for there to be obvious signs of the dearly departed. It would actually get crunchy to be honest. So they must do something - maybe that's why you have to pay so they can do whatever they do to "make room" for the next scattering. I'm gonna have to look that up.
Luckily I have 10 acres up in Bancroft. Its no worse then the old beer bottles and tires I find up there!
Disposal of the cremains seems to be an issue for people in my family. My father didn't want me to bother picking them up, my mother says I can flush them for all she cares and the most current relative isn't sure. She just wants to be put in the same container with her husband. Problem is there is no room in that container and I really don't want them sitting in my living room. Scattering seems like an option.
Here's the thing. There is a lot to scatter. If you haven't dealt with this, take my word for it that this is not just something that will be lightly carried along with the breeze. Also, most places do not allow scattering. Of course no one's to know if you do it surreptiously - I had a friend who snuck her mother onto the beach in Florida, but it would be nice to do it openly instead of in the dead of night.
So cemetery's now have scattering gardens. Its a nice area of the cemetery set aside for this purpose. Here's what I don't get, what happens after the scattering? It wouldn't take long for there to be obvious signs of the dearly departed. It would actually get crunchy to be honest. So they must do something - maybe that's why you have to pay so they can do whatever they do to "make room" for the next scattering. I'm gonna have to look that up.
Luckily I have 10 acres up in Bancroft. Its no worse then the old beer bottles and tires I find up there!
Lost in the Pearson Parking Garage
So I drive out to the airport and exchange the wrong suitcase for the right one. When I parked the car I didn't get a spot in my usual location - yes I have been to Terminal 3 so often I have my own "area". So when I get back to the parking garage I go to where I think the car is. Only it isn't. And the level and area is starting to slip my memory - I thought it was 2 B right next to 2 C. But it isn't. Was it 3 B or maybe 3 C? Who knows.
I spend 20 minutes trying to look as though I expected to be marching around the parkade looking for my car. I know that if I just go to the entrance and walk the path I drove that I will find it but that seems ridiculous.
Thankfully, I find the car - now I have to drive the wrong way to get back to the pay machine because I didn't dare pay my ticket until I found the car because when you pay there is a time limit on how long the ticket is valid for. On my way, I see another woman walking aimlessly - I offer to drive her around to look for her car. Apparently she was with a News Cruiser - which I tell her I haven't seen. Anyhow someone back at the newstation is tracking the GPS coordinates of the truck to lead her to it.
I suggest to Cliff that this makes no sense, how can they tell her which direction to walk once they locate the truck? I have a feeling she was in the wrong parking structure - I walked a lot and never saw a news truck!
I spend 20 minutes trying to look as though I expected to be marching around the parkade looking for my car. I know that if I just go to the entrance and walk the path I drove that I will find it but that seems ridiculous.
Thankfully, I find the car - now I have to drive the wrong way to get back to the pay machine because I didn't dare pay my ticket until I found the car because when you pay there is a time limit on how long the ticket is valid for. On my way, I see another woman walking aimlessly - I offer to drive her around to look for her car. Apparently she was with a News Cruiser - which I tell her I haven't seen. Anyhow someone back at the newstation is tracking the GPS coordinates of the truck to lead her to it.
I suggest to Cliff that this makes no sense, how can they tell her which direction to walk once they locate the truck? I have a feeling she was in the wrong parking structure - I walked a lot and never saw a news truck!
Mothers
I don't have kids so maybe I am being too critical. But the mothers in my life are driving me crazy.
First, my mother-in-law. She refuses to spend money. Rather than buy shoes that she likes, she takes hand me downs from people in her building - usually at least one size too big. She walks with a walker, is not very steady on her feet and has diabetes (which deadens the nerves in the feet) so I have told her that she must stop wearing shoes that are too big for her - its too dangerous as she is not sure footed enough. So she called to say that she went out and bought new sandals and had her feet measured. I was not so thrilled with the sandals but was relieved to know that she at least got the right size. Oh but wait, did I mention they cost 300 dollars?! Somewhere between taking all of the day old bread from the bakery and forcing friends and neighbours to take some home and buying 300 dollar shoes is where I would be most comfortable.
Then my mother. I pick her up at the airport and she is marvelling at how fast her suitcase came off the plane. Got home to hear a message that the bag is not hers, she picked up someone elses. Unfortunately we went to dinner first so we didn't get the message until an hour and a half later. She hadn't expected anyone else to have the same bag as hers since hers has a blue hawaiian print. Um, we didn't exactly spend a lot of money on it so its not like the company only made 100 for sale.
I didn't mind the mistake except that she kept feeling sorry for me having to drive back to the airport. I don't mind driving to the airport - I'm right at the 401 and Bayview so its a 20 minute drive. I did mind that I didn't hear her feel sorry for the poor people who got off the plane and couldn't find their luggage. Apparently the bag she took wasn't even off of her flight. Like I said, things happen but I think she could have felt badly for the people who landed in Toronto and didn't have their stuff.
And Mother's Day - for some reason we have to celebrate it on Sunday. Has to be Sunday. I have pleaded for the idea that the restaurants are much quieter on Monday but that just won't do. Thankfully my mother-in-law does not have the same feelings about it!
First, my mother-in-law. She refuses to spend money. Rather than buy shoes that she likes, she takes hand me downs from people in her building - usually at least one size too big. She walks with a walker, is not very steady on her feet and has diabetes (which deadens the nerves in the feet) so I have told her that she must stop wearing shoes that are too big for her - its too dangerous as she is not sure footed enough. So she called to say that she went out and bought new sandals and had her feet measured. I was not so thrilled with the sandals but was relieved to know that she at least got the right size. Oh but wait, did I mention they cost 300 dollars?! Somewhere between taking all of the day old bread from the bakery and forcing friends and neighbours to take some home and buying 300 dollar shoes is where I would be most comfortable.
Then my mother. I pick her up at the airport and she is marvelling at how fast her suitcase came off the plane. Got home to hear a message that the bag is not hers, she picked up someone elses. Unfortunately we went to dinner first so we didn't get the message until an hour and a half later. She hadn't expected anyone else to have the same bag as hers since hers has a blue hawaiian print. Um, we didn't exactly spend a lot of money on it so its not like the company only made 100 for sale.
I didn't mind the mistake except that she kept feeling sorry for me having to drive back to the airport. I don't mind driving to the airport - I'm right at the 401 and Bayview so its a 20 minute drive. I did mind that I didn't hear her feel sorry for the poor people who got off the plane and couldn't find their luggage. Apparently the bag she took wasn't even off of her flight. Like I said, things happen but I think she could have felt badly for the people who landed in Toronto and didn't have their stuff.
And Mother's Day - for some reason we have to celebrate it on Sunday. Has to be Sunday. I have pleaded for the idea that the restaurants are much quieter on Monday but that just won't do. Thankfully my mother-in-law does not have the same feelings about it!
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Taxes Are Done
Finally, the taxes have been submitted by Netfile. I was all set to go a few days ago but there were problems at Revenue Canada due to volume.
On top of the taxes we are also in the middle of renegotiating our mortgage which is due soon. I'm really the financial person in the relationship but I can't say its a gifting that I have.
I'm also working with Cliff to prearrange his mother's funeral. I am trying to convince her to get it prepaid incase she can't afford it later. If she winds up in a nursing home she will lose most of her savings so its actually to our benefit if you puts a bit a way now. I'm not saying that will happen. I also want her to make decisions so we don't have to get in an argument with other members of the family that will want all kinds of input without putting in any money. I have arranged two funerals now, my Dad's and Cliff's Dad and I really don't want the hassle again. However, there is squawking about the money required for a funeral home to take care of the chapel and service so I am getting instructions just to let the church take care of it. Which translates into me doing it since she is really not a member and our denomination is really hands off in the arranging. Booking the location, pastor, organist, typing up the liturgy and handling all of the catering (including setting up the reception area, making the coffee and washing dishes)is a real pain in the butt! I love the Roman Catholic church - the church ladies do all of the work - all you do is show up and mourn - and take away a huge platter of leftover sandwiches and cake!
On top of the taxes we are also in the middle of renegotiating our mortgage which is due soon. I'm really the financial person in the relationship but I can't say its a gifting that I have.
I'm also working with Cliff to prearrange his mother's funeral. I am trying to convince her to get it prepaid incase she can't afford it later. If she winds up in a nursing home she will lose most of her savings so its actually to our benefit if you puts a bit a way now. I'm not saying that will happen. I also want her to make decisions so we don't have to get in an argument with other members of the family that will want all kinds of input without putting in any money. I have arranged two funerals now, my Dad's and Cliff's Dad and I really don't want the hassle again. However, there is squawking about the money required for a funeral home to take care of the chapel and service so I am getting instructions just to let the church take care of it. Which translates into me doing it since she is really not a member and our denomination is really hands off in the arranging. Booking the location, pastor, organist, typing up the liturgy and handling all of the catering (including setting up the reception area, making the coffee and washing dishes)is a real pain in the butt! I love the Roman Catholic church - the church ladies do all of the work - all you do is show up and mourn - and take away a huge platter of leftover sandwiches and cake!
Friday's Feast May 2
Appetizer
What was your favorite cartoon when you were a child?
The family always watched Bugs Bunny together on Sunday evening - that was a lot of fun. I liked Bugs Bunny but I didn't really understand why my dad thought Wile E Coyote was hilarious - not until I was older. For Saturday cartoons I can't really remember most of them - but I do remember watching Scooby Doo pretty religiously.
Soup
Pretend you are about to get a new pet. Which animal would you pick, and what would you name it?
I'm a cat person. Not one of those crazy cat people - you know what I mean - the cat sweatshirts and lack of social skills... I like to get my cats from the shelter. We have Justice that we got from the shelter who was there almost a year. Beautiful cat with a nice disposition who was about 10 when we got her. And I was able to test her out at the shelter to see if I was allergic. As for names, you get stuck with what they have already named them. I like "cute" - we had a cat called "Clawdius" - he drooled alot. We also had Exador named after a really stupid character on Mork and Mindy. The last cat we had came named as "Button". The cat was too stocky to be a button so we changed his name to Winston. I read that as long as the syllables and the melody of the name are the same it really doesn't matter if you change the name. As we know, they don't come when you call unless they feel like it anyway.
Salad
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much do you enjoy getting all dressed up for a special occasion?
I used to love this. As I got older and fatter I got less excited. I like getting dressed up for Christmas parties because they tend to be evenings out for dinner where you can use more sparkly dresses and shoes and such.
Main Course
What kind of music do you listen to while you drive?
Anything I can sing to (unless I have passengers) which would tend to be soundtracks (Jesus Christ Superstar, Ragtime) or Genesis/Phil Collins or a mix tape with tons of everything. Most often I have 102.1 CFNY (I switch it off when I'm ferrying Christians around) or CBC radio on though.
Dessert
When was the last time you bought a clock? And in which room did you put it?
The last clock I bought was for Calvary Baptist's office. It was nice but under 10 bucks so wasn't the most accurate - I had to keep updating the time every month or so. I don't wear watches or use clocks - I tend to use the computer or tv for the time. When I'm out I check the time on my cell phone or on public telephones or on receipts I get at the stores. Its not that I'm cheap - just not disciplined enough to put one on my arm everyday.
What was your favorite cartoon when you were a child?
The family always watched Bugs Bunny together on Sunday evening - that was a lot of fun. I liked Bugs Bunny but I didn't really understand why my dad thought Wile E Coyote was hilarious - not until I was older. For Saturday cartoons I can't really remember most of them - but I do remember watching Scooby Doo pretty religiously.
Soup
Pretend you are about to get a new pet. Which animal would you pick, and what would you name it?
I'm a cat person. Not one of those crazy cat people - you know what I mean - the cat sweatshirts and lack of social skills... I like to get my cats from the shelter. We have Justice that we got from the shelter who was there almost a year. Beautiful cat with a nice disposition who was about 10 when we got her. And I was able to test her out at the shelter to see if I was allergic. As for names, you get stuck with what they have already named them. I like "cute" - we had a cat called "Clawdius" - he drooled alot. We also had Exador named after a really stupid character on Mork and Mindy. The last cat we had came named as "Button". The cat was too stocky to be a button so we changed his name to Winston. I read that as long as the syllables and the melody of the name are the same it really doesn't matter if you change the name. As we know, they don't come when you call unless they feel like it anyway.
Salad
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much do you enjoy getting all dressed up for a special occasion?
I used to love this. As I got older and fatter I got less excited. I like getting dressed up for Christmas parties because they tend to be evenings out for dinner where you can use more sparkly dresses and shoes and such.
Main Course
What kind of music do you listen to while you drive?
Anything I can sing to (unless I have passengers) which would tend to be soundtracks (Jesus Christ Superstar, Ragtime) or Genesis/Phil Collins or a mix tape with tons of everything. Most often I have 102.1 CFNY (I switch it off when I'm ferrying Christians around) or CBC radio on though.
Dessert
When was the last time you bought a clock? And in which room did you put it?
The last clock I bought was for Calvary Baptist's office. It was nice but under 10 bucks so wasn't the most accurate - I had to keep updating the time every month or so. I don't wear watches or use clocks - I tend to use the computer or tv for the time. When I'm out I check the time on my cell phone or on public telephones or on receipts I get at the stores. Its not that I'm cheap - just not disciplined enough to put one on my arm everyday.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Privacy and the Internet
I've been thinking about privacy for a bit now. Everynow and then I put my name into Google and see what pops out. The funny thing is that though I can control my content I can't control what other people do. I tried to see if there are people who have no identity on the Internet.
What really rattled me was one search I did. There are going to be obvious hits from bulletins, meetings and such. But what do you do when your family posts you or your spouse's family tree and personal photos?
Part of me wonders if it matters and the other part of me is really disturbed. Leading a group of people in any context requires a certain amount of transparency and I think its true of ministry as well. However, there is a line where my private life should not inform my public life. Everything is out of context - who I am in church or at my job will be fairly close to my family life - but I do have my moments - the bleary eyed look might be from not enough sleep or too much beer!
Through Facebook sites I have found my grade 3 picture, grade 4, a picture at my 20th anniversary, my graduation and a pot luck. None of these were posted by me. I also found a teacher friend who had posted pictures of her class (I am sure this is a huge no-no even without the children's names). The fact is we can't control what other people do with our images - whether they post them or others view them. I have consciously decided to never post any photo with anyone other than me in the photo - unless I take it from somewhere else (like from another Facebook site). But others don't have that same philosophy.
What really rattled me was one search I did. There are going to be obvious hits from bulletins, meetings and such. But what do you do when your family posts you or your spouse's family tree and personal photos?
Part of me wonders if it matters and the other part of me is really disturbed. Leading a group of people in any context requires a certain amount of transparency and I think its true of ministry as well. However, there is a line where my private life should not inform my public life. Everything is out of context - who I am in church or at my job will be fairly close to my family life - but I do have my moments - the bleary eyed look might be from not enough sleep or too much beer!
Through Facebook sites I have found my grade 3 picture, grade 4, a picture at my 20th anniversary, my graduation and a pot luck. None of these were posted by me. I also found a teacher friend who had posted pictures of her class (I am sure this is a huge no-no even without the children's names). The fact is we can't control what other people do with our images - whether they post them or others view them. I have consciously decided to never post any photo with anyone other than me in the photo - unless I take it from somewhere else (like from another Facebook site). But others don't have that same philosophy.
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