I have a feeling that I have been slightly depressed for most of winter from January on. Lately, I seem to have a lot more energy to get things done. I have been working on a research paper looking at stats in North York and getting tons of ideas and I still have energy left to do other things. I don't seem to need the same number of naps either.
I love looking at stats and trying to make sense of them. The area around the church is very interesting in just how boring the stats are. We have a low teen pregnancy rate, lower obesity rate, smoking rate and less poverty then other areas just south and west of the church and when compared to the Toronto average. The rate of getting flu shots and vaccines and screening tests is higher than the Toronto average as well. Some of this has to be due to the higher income levels but even so I am surprised that the few area around us is so different then to the east or the south. Also, and this was really surprising,we have a higher number of youth 15-24 then compared to the Toronto average. Yet for years the church has said that there are no young people here because it is too expensive. The only areas that seem to stand out is a slightly higher average of mental health visits and a much higher incidence of heart problems. Perhaps the stress of trying to be too happy!?
Its going to be interesting to try to figure out what this means as a church. For one thing we can't ignore that the idea of serving the community through giving handouts is not going to be effective for the average person. As my prof explained to me, the people in this area can afford to buy what they need - including English classes. Instead our rather traditional churches in the area may just have to actually engage in a postmodern world where the church's role as soup kitchens and food banks no longer engages the majority of those we are meant to serve.
I did some canvassing for the Cancer Society in the neighbourhood and found that during the day and on Saturday mornings the place is a ghost town with the exception of a few grandparents caring for pre-school children. Evenings is when the community are actually at home. How do you create a sense of neighbourhood when everyone has communities outside of their street - schools, work, shopping, activities at clubs?
I am at a complete loss - maybe because I was never interested in my community myself - I don't know my neighbours and make connections in other places. I'm going to have to do a lot of praying and thinking about this.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Grace - I don't have enough
Imagine taking someone you really have a hard time spending time with and bringing them to your place of peace. That's what's going on in my life right now!
I have elected to bring someone I know to church who I just don't get along with. I try to, and I do pray about it - but not enough. This person says a lot of careless things in public and if you try to set the record straight you end up going down a very convoluted garden path. At the end I am usually more frustrated then when I started and still nothing is acknowleged.
Today for instance. After asking this person many times if they wanted to go to church with us and being given reasons for not going she tells people today that she is so happy to be back and has missed coming for a long time. Since she can't get to church without us, this ends up sounding like we have been keeping her from coming. Later she tells one of the pastoral workers that she had a beautiful cross that she got years ago which she no longer has and that she has wanted a new cross for soooo long. The person winked at me and said that maybe for a birthday or Christmas a little bird will whisper this to someone. Okay, how about for the last 20 birthdays and Christmases and Mother's Days. I have never heard her wish for a cross, ever. Then she indicates how she has asked her daughter to take her to Chinatown but she can "ask and ask" but she still doesn't get to go. Chinatown? Since when? Apparently she wants to go to Chinatown to get the cross. I still have not determined why Chinatown and could see that I wasn't going to find out why. Maybe she wants a jade one. Anyhow, I suggested over lunch that perhaps Chinatown would not be that fun of a trip for her as there is no parking and getting around the street and in the tightly packed stores might be difficult with a walker. She has a hard time negotiating getting to and from the bathroom in the restaurant so I can't imagine us joslting around in the crowd. We offered to drive through Chinatown to see if she would like to try it out some time but she didn't want to bother.
So, it is impossible to meet her needs because she never tells you what she needs. I end up getting helpful advice from parishioners who think after talking to her that we need a little push to bring her to church or to take her to get groceries.
My husband has learned to ignore all of this. I still haven't learned how to and I noticed today he lost his cool before I did. As she is waiting for us in the car to get her walker out of the back seat she lit up a cigarette. I stared in disbelief. We have told her in no uncertain terms that we can not stand the smell of cigarette smoke. For the first time in a long time I couldn't think of what to say I was so dumbfounded. My husband told her that this was unacceptable and she claimed that since her legs are partway out of the car that she considered herself to be out of the car.
I'm at a loss. I can try to ignore her behaviour but am having a hard time doing this. It took 5 tries for the waiter to take her meal order because she couldn't decide. She wanted something with fries. We suggested about 10 options - she didn't want the fish and chips because it isn't made with shark like it is in Australia. I suggested to her that she has had fish and chips plenty of times in Canada since moving here and the lack of shark was never an issue at that time. See, I should not say anything. My husband blanks out during these conversations. But I am stubborn and want to have a relationship other than blanking out and ignoring. So I need to learn a lot of grace. I think this is probably the hardest person for me to get along with (it didn't help that her attitude towards me sucked when we first got engaged) and she isn't going to change. So I have to learn to stop caring what other people think of us when they talk to her. If she wants to tell the care worker that we are too busy to take her shopping then I just have to let it go. Somehow. Or figure out why she does that.
I have elected to bring someone I know to church who I just don't get along with. I try to, and I do pray about it - but not enough. This person says a lot of careless things in public and if you try to set the record straight you end up going down a very convoluted garden path. At the end I am usually more frustrated then when I started and still nothing is acknowleged.
Today for instance. After asking this person many times if they wanted to go to church with us and being given reasons for not going she tells people today that she is so happy to be back and has missed coming for a long time. Since she can't get to church without us, this ends up sounding like we have been keeping her from coming. Later she tells one of the pastoral workers that she had a beautiful cross that she got years ago which she no longer has and that she has wanted a new cross for soooo long. The person winked at me and said that maybe for a birthday or Christmas a little bird will whisper this to someone. Okay, how about for the last 20 birthdays and Christmases and Mother's Days. I have never heard her wish for a cross, ever. Then she indicates how she has asked her daughter to take her to Chinatown but she can "ask and ask" but she still doesn't get to go. Chinatown? Since when? Apparently she wants to go to Chinatown to get the cross. I still have not determined why Chinatown and could see that I wasn't going to find out why. Maybe she wants a jade one. Anyhow, I suggested over lunch that perhaps Chinatown would not be that fun of a trip for her as there is no parking and getting around the street and in the tightly packed stores might be difficult with a walker. She has a hard time negotiating getting to and from the bathroom in the restaurant so I can't imagine us joslting around in the crowd. We offered to drive through Chinatown to see if she would like to try it out some time but she didn't want to bother.
So, it is impossible to meet her needs because she never tells you what she needs. I end up getting helpful advice from parishioners who think after talking to her that we need a little push to bring her to church or to take her to get groceries.
My husband has learned to ignore all of this. I still haven't learned how to and I noticed today he lost his cool before I did. As she is waiting for us in the car to get her walker out of the back seat she lit up a cigarette. I stared in disbelief. We have told her in no uncertain terms that we can not stand the smell of cigarette smoke. For the first time in a long time I couldn't think of what to say I was so dumbfounded. My husband told her that this was unacceptable and she claimed that since her legs are partway out of the car that she considered herself to be out of the car.
I'm at a loss. I can try to ignore her behaviour but am having a hard time doing this. It took 5 tries for the waiter to take her meal order because she couldn't decide. She wanted something with fries. We suggested about 10 options - she didn't want the fish and chips because it isn't made with shark like it is in Australia. I suggested to her that she has had fish and chips plenty of times in Canada since moving here and the lack of shark was never an issue at that time. See, I should not say anything. My husband blanks out during these conversations. But I am stubborn and want to have a relationship other than blanking out and ignoring. So I need to learn a lot of grace. I think this is probably the hardest person for me to get along with (it didn't help that her attitude towards me sucked when we first got engaged) and she isn't going to change. So I have to learn to stop caring what other people think of us when they talk to her. If she wants to tell the care worker that we are too busy to take her shopping then I just have to let it go. Somehow. Or figure out why she does that.
Boasting
So after my boasting about how well my preaching went, don't we have a sermon about how we shouldn't boast. I've been processing that for a few weeks now because I have noticed that our church very down on compliments. I have received a few compliments which started out nice but ended with "but you are not perfect". I finally called this person on it because I would rather not get any compliment - I never remember anything nice that is said to me if it is followed up with a "but". To me the "but" is the real intended message. That's my sensitivity showing through. If you think about examples from life the "but" message is usually there for a reason. So it seems as thought there is a distaste for giving a compliment lest it makes us as humans think we can do anything good apart from God. The theologians out there probably note that this is an extreme reaction to Calvinism - that man can do not good on his own apart from God.
So after feeling very upset and down about the boasting I thought about the role of motivation. I don't get excited about preaching because of what I can or can not do. I do get excited about preaching because I believe it proclaims what God has to say to us. I am pleased that I communicated the text technically well - because if I don't communicate well then the Holy Spirit has to do a lot more work and I have to question whether I am in the right field. Anyhow, I have been thinking about this and feeling torn about it. It seems that if I do poorly then its my fault and if I do well, then its God's doing. I have been doing a lot of reading about Calvinism lately in order to ensure that my sermons for W are above reproach theologically. I think we can over apply the principles so that we become very neurotic, solemn people.
So after feeling very upset and down about the boasting I thought about the role of motivation. I don't get excited about preaching because of what I can or can not do. I do get excited about preaching because I believe it proclaims what God has to say to us. I am pleased that I communicated the text technically well - because if I don't communicate well then the Holy Spirit has to do a lot more work and I have to question whether I am in the right field. Anyhow, I have been thinking about this and feeling torn about it. It seems that if I do poorly then its my fault and if I do well, then its God's doing. I have been doing a lot of reading about Calvinism lately in order to ensure that my sermons for W are above reproach theologically. I think we can over apply the principles so that we become very neurotic, solemn people.
Friday's Feast
For those of you how are faithful to the Friday's Feast site you know that the chef is on vacation so yes, this is an entry from earlier in May that I never used.
Appetizer
When someone smiles at you, do you smile back?
It depends. Sometimes I'm walking along and someone smiles and I notice too late. I love smiling back at children, especially the young ones because they just expect you to.
Soup
Describe the flooring in your home. Do you have carpet, hardwood, vinyl, a mix?
The floor is hardwood. The parts you can see. We only have a rug under the dining room table. The living room needs to be redone, we did it when we moved it and I think we maybe should have done a few more coats of treatment. I don't really want to do it again - sanding the wood down requires a completely empty room and takes a few days if you want to let the layers dry properly.
Salad
Write a sentence with only 5 words, but all of the words have to start with the first letter of your first name.
The great thing about Friday's Feast unlike baby showers, lingerie parties and other uncomfortable settings is that I don't have to do things I don't want to.
Main Course
Do you know anyone whose life has been touched by adoption?
My husband and his siblings were all adopted - from different parents. My dad was adopted. My good friend in high school gave up her baby for adoption.
Dessert
Name 2 blue things.
The first thing that springs into my mind are blue Smarties. I have a friend who believes that there should not be any processed blue food in the world and the blue smarties cause her problems. I tend to concur - the blue is a bit too bright.
Another blue thing - hmm, I guess the next answer that comes to my mind is the sky.
Appetizer
When someone smiles at you, do you smile back?
It depends. Sometimes I'm walking along and someone smiles and I notice too late. I love smiling back at children, especially the young ones because they just expect you to.
Soup
Describe the flooring in your home. Do you have carpet, hardwood, vinyl, a mix?
The floor is hardwood. The parts you can see. We only have a rug under the dining room table. The living room needs to be redone, we did it when we moved it and I think we maybe should have done a few more coats of treatment. I don't really want to do it again - sanding the wood down requires a completely empty room and takes a few days if you want to let the layers dry properly.
Salad
Write a sentence with only 5 words, but all of the words have to start with the first letter of your first name.
The great thing about Friday's Feast unlike baby showers, lingerie parties and other uncomfortable settings is that I don't have to do things I don't want to.
Main Course
Do you know anyone whose life has been touched by adoption?
My husband and his siblings were all adopted - from different parents. My dad was adopted. My good friend in high school gave up her baby for adoption.
Dessert
Name 2 blue things.
The first thing that springs into my mind are blue Smarties. I have a friend who believes that there should not be any processed blue food in the world and the blue smarties cause her problems. I tend to concur - the blue is a bit too bright.
Another blue thing - hmm, I guess the next answer that comes to my mind is the sky.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
