Apology to Fellow Christians

Ah, its tough. I live in two worlds. There is the Christian world where things fall between two straight lines. After a while I know what not to say, what jokes are not appropriate. But that's not my culture. I come from a non-Christian culture - I understand the context of the jokes and the discussions. I understand that they are not meant to dishonour God - you can't intentionally dishonour those you don't know. As a Christian, I strive to know the difference - my actions are fuelled by a response to grace. I remember very well what it is to live without God and I identify with that culture. And this puts me in a difficult place sometimes.

To invite Christians to read my site which has links to my brother's site is tricky. My brother is a riot. He is smart, funny and very caring. But how he expresses himself might be shocking to others. So if you are easily offended don't go to his Mookieslasthope site. And don't mistake that he is speaking for non-Christians - there are non-Christians that might be offended by his language too. Just like there are Christians that I don't like the way they witness or treat others or use the Bible to preach their word instead of God's word. But I am far closer in personality, temperment and humour to my brother than any of my Christian friends. The only thing that makes us different is that Christ has claimed me - and I had no say in that!

Did we as Christians create the Christian culture or is it of God? If it is of God why does it separate us into us and them? How can I be salt and light if I avoid the places where I'm offended? How can I say I understand grace if I avoid those who have not yet received it?

Too many questions for this kind of blog!

First Week at School - Its all Greek to Me!

I have a total of three classes. Two are studies of books of the Bible - Ezekial and 1 Corinthians. The other is Greek - which is thankfully split into two 1 hour and 45 minute sections.

I had my last class for the week tonight and I am exhausted! Not to mention a little freaked out. Greek is moving pretty fast and though I really enjoy it I hate not being on top of something. I have to learn the definite articles by Monday. I have the alphabet down, dipthongs are on the way. I didn't even know what a dipthong was three days ago!

For my Corinthians class I have to recite from memory 1 Cor 13. This is not my thing, memory whether for faces, names or songs (I can't guarantee I get O Canada right!). Its only worth 5 marks but I have to present it in front of 3 adults. I hear a wings and beer night calling! That oughta throw the Firkin crowd off! C'mon - you know you want to take part in this educational journey!

Sadly, every Christian knows what 1 Cor 13 is - except for me - I had to look it up. Chapter and verse rote isn't my thing either. For the uninitiated it is the chapter that includes "Love is patient, love is kind". You have heard it at a wedding at some point in your life. Following the recitation I will give a rant on how much I can't stand this passage being used for weddings ....

Going back as a third year student is neat. There is no anxiety, I know where everything is and I know what to expect. Oh, except in the computer lab. The took away the hard drives - you now need a thingy to download to. I don't have a thingy or a thing on my home computer to read the thingy. C'mon Ian - help me out and at least tell me the technological words for this stuff - Lesley and Bernie can't help me they work in hospitals and schools - they probably still have those huge floppys!

Party Hell

I went to a great party on the weekend. Great food, fantastic music, bar well stocked with anything you could imagine. Very nice people.

Problem is I didn't know anyone other than the hosts. As someone studying to be a pastor I keep thinking to myself - just talk to someone. I try this but it is not my strong suit. I hate small talk - its just so irrelevant. At one point it looks like a junior high school dance. We are all sitting on chairs lining the wall.

It was one of those surprise party deals where we got there way ahead of the birthday boy. SO I can't just leave after a reasonable amount of time that would be rude. And there were a group of people there that I enjoyed listening to though I couldn't really join in as they were talking about work. Thankfully, a group if non-Christians. This is when I realised how much I miss sitting with people with my background.

So I had a good time in a strange way. Once the guest arrived the barriers started to be broken down because he could find common ground between different people. It was really weird to be the only person there from the church because that was my label - "my friend from church". Which is great but its a lousy conversation starter - I was just relieved no one asked me what I do during the day. As soon as I say I'm studying in Bible College people become tongue tied.

The worst party I have ever been to was at my sister-in-law's. For those who know my family - this does not surprise you! Get this. She takes her husband out with another couple to dinner to come back to her apartment with us all waiting. Thing is none of us know each other. There was a mixture of family, friends and coworkers. No one knew more than one other person in the room. There were snacks laid out but we didn't dare touch them. The girl that had the key to open the apartment didn't really have instructions.

It was pretty bad and then the phone call came. At the time we were expecting them to arrive they called and said that they just got a seat! At the Keg! Give me a break. It was at that point that someone bravely suggested we start eating the chips. I'm family so I have no hope of leaving. It was horrid. I swore never again - a promise I have kept after too many of these family parties. I have horror stories of family birthdays and christenings where I would have preferred a Tupperware party in place of the actual event. Remind me to tell you about my in-laws lingerie party where my idiot brother-in-law came downstairs dancing dressed in tiger print underwear wearing Cliff's police belt and night stick. Why would you want to do this in front of people including your mother? The horror! The horror!

The Weird Bread at the Deli Counter

I was snooping around Sobey's Sunday night looking for dinner and school lunches. Why I waited until 10 pm on a school night I don't know. I had all summer to think about school lunches but I waited until the last minute.

I had the same thought that I often have when I walk past the Deli counter. Who buys the weird bread there? You know. The bread that sits on that little low shelf in front of the deli case. Its all tiny bags and big slices of bread and all of it has the look of being old. Like a month old. It looks like something they would feed you on a crossing of the Atlantic in the late 1800's. With some ale.

I picture little old ladies hunched over in black poking at it with their canes. Yet I never actually see anyone buying it. I've never even seen my mother-in-law buy it. And she is a likely candidate. We were moving her stuff up north - a four hour drive and she packed us cheese sandwiches - and was very annoyed that we had the audacity to stop at Rotten Ronnies on the way up. See, if you cut the moldy section off of the bread and cheese its perfectly fine. In her defense she did grow up in the war in Holland - old habits die hard.

So my plan is to take her past the weird bread and see if she bites! I'll let you know!

Where Have I Been!

Boy! Its been a while since I posted. I have been going through this angst over looking at new churches. For a lot of people it would sound like this would be as easy as changing your grocery store. Its more like a divorce. I want a trial separation where I come in and out of my home church while I try to see if there is something else out there that I fit into better. Leaving me feeling very guilty. Did I try hard enough, can I overlook some of the missing parts of the relationship - can I go elsewhere to pick up what I'm missing? Lots of people do that last thing. You go to church on Sunday and the rest of the week you spend time in your other worlds. Your friends are outside of the church, you volunteer outside of the church, your recreation is outside, your mentors are outside. But I'm not wired like that - I believe the local church is the only hope for the world. How can I faithfully attend without friends, activities, mentors?

So, while you all are shaking your head saying "Leave already!" its a bit harder than that. Then how will I know when I am in the right church? I've been married too long to go back to the dating scene. That whole "a second date looks good" to the final, inevitable "what was I thinking!"

I went to a good church on the weekend. Small, committed, diverse. But they need parishioners who can put in some time and I just don't have any to give this year - I am stressed by the amount of stuff on my plate already. Last year I was looking exactly for a church like this where I could get really involved and make a difference. This year I just want a place to crash on Sunday. Which means my home church suddenly became perfect - I can hear some of you grinding your teeth!

Anyhow, this has consumed all of my worry time. So I haven't had anything funny to write. Not that I ever did before!