Hmm. My brother and I offered to buy my mom a dollhouse to celebrate her retirement - up to a cost of 400 dollars. She has since decided that that is too much money and she is not ready for building a dollhouse. She would like a calligraphy set instead which is much less expensive. Besides, we will need some money to buy her a small gift for Mothers' Day. Huh? I didn't realize we were buying her a gift - I've booked an expensive restaurant and am arranging a corsage. Now she doesn't want anything expensive - but that isn't really the point. I know my brother is going to freak about this. So I have a few choices - just do what makes her happy and buy a gift and stick my brother's name on it (so he will be happy too), ignore the whole thing, or discuss it with my brother. The most peaceful option is number 1. But this is pretty much continuing the expectation. Since its the thought that counts - well I guess it will be a shitty gift no matter what I get her!!
My other mother never expects a gift. Which makes buying one all the more pleasing.
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Monday, May 05, 2008
Honestly, my last post about this!
Okay, I give up. There is nothing sacred anymore. Check out myfunkyfuneral.com. They "put the fun back in funeral" and as they say "you are going to die so why not die with us" For 10 US you can fill out a form for your final wishes which you can email to your family. One of their links took me to a specialized coffin store that was commission to create the ballet shoe coffin.
I don't have a problem with funky coffins and such - but I do think that your final wishes could be delivered to loved ones in a more personal way then email. Really.
Obviously people are searching for a meaning to death, just more signs of a post-Christendom society.
Ask a Stupid Question....
Yup, I had no idea how bizarre people have gotten. EternalAscent will launch a portion of the cremains in a 5 foot helium ballon - it will travel 5 miles upwards before exploding - with the ashes being taken along by the wind. You can't put all 4-5 pounds of the ashes in the balloon so there are still some decisions to be made. If you are looking to create a franchise in your neighourhood look no farther: www.eternalascent.com
Scattering Gardens - Cremated Remains
All this funeral talk is buzzing in my head as we are helping a relative preplan their arrangements.
Disposal of the cremains seems to be an issue for people in my family. My father didn't want me to bother picking them up, my mother says I can flush them for all she cares and the most current relative isn't sure. She just wants to be put in the same container with her husband. Problem is there is no room in that container and I really don't want them sitting in my living room. Scattering seems like an option.
Here's the thing. There is a lot to scatter. If you haven't dealt with this, take my word for it that this is not just something that will be lightly carried along with the breeze. Also, most places do not allow scattering. Of course no one's to know if you do it surreptiously - I had a friend who snuck her mother onto the beach in Florida, but it would be nice to do it openly instead of in the dead of night.
So cemetery's now have scattering gardens. Its a nice area of the cemetery set aside for this purpose. Here's what I don't get, what happens after the scattering? It wouldn't take long for there to be obvious signs of the dearly departed. It would actually get crunchy to be honest. So they must do something - maybe that's why you have to pay so they can do whatever they do to "make room" for the next scattering. I'm gonna have to look that up.
Luckily I have 10 acres up in Bancroft. Its no worse then the old beer bottles and tires I find up there!
Disposal of the cremains seems to be an issue for people in my family. My father didn't want me to bother picking them up, my mother says I can flush them for all she cares and the most current relative isn't sure. She just wants to be put in the same container with her husband. Problem is there is no room in that container and I really don't want them sitting in my living room. Scattering seems like an option.
Here's the thing. There is a lot to scatter. If you haven't dealt with this, take my word for it that this is not just something that will be lightly carried along with the breeze. Also, most places do not allow scattering. Of course no one's to know if you do it surreptiously - I had a friend who snuck her mother onto the beach in Florida, but it would be nice to do it openly instead of in the dead of night.
So cemetery's now have scattering gardens. Its a nice area of the cemetery set aside for this purpose. Here's what I don't get, what happens after the scattering? It wouldn't take long for there to be obvious signs of the dearly departed. It would actually get crunchy to be honest. So they must do something - maybe that's why you have to pay so they can do whatever they do to "make room" for the next scattering. I'm gonna have to look that up.
Luckily I have 10 acres up in Bancroft. Its no worse then the old beer bottles and tires I find up there!
Lost in the Pearson Parking Garage
So I drive out to the airport and exchange the wrong suitcase for the right one. When I parked the car I didn't get a spot in my usual location - yes I have been to Terminal 3 so often I have my own "area". So when I get back to the parking garage I go to where I think the car is. Only it isn't. And the level and area is starting to slip my memory - I thought it was 2 B right next to 2 C. But it isn't. Was it 3 B or maybe 3 C? Who knows.
I spend 20 minutes trying to look as though I expected to be marching around the parkade looking for my car. I know that if I just go to the entrance and walk the path I drove that I will find it but that seems ridiculous.
Thankfully, I find the car - now I have to drive the wrong way to get back to the pay machine because I didn't dare pay my ticket until I found the car because when you pay there is a time limit on how long the ticket is valid for. On my way, I see another woman walking aimlessly - I offer to drive her around to look for her car. Apparently she was with a News Cruiser - which I tell her I haven't seen. Anyhow someone back at the newstation is tracking the GPS coordinates of the truck to lead her to it.
I suggest to Cliff that this makes no sense, how can they tell her which direction to walk once they locate the truck? I have a feeling she was in the wrong parking structure - I walked a lot and never saw a news truck!
I spend 20 minutes trying to look as though I expected to be marching around the parkade looking for my car. I know that if I just go to the entrance and walk the path I drove that I will find it but that seems ridiculous.
Thankfully, I find the car - now I have to drive the wrong way to get back to the pay machine because I didn't dare pay my ticket until I found the car because when you pay there is a time limit on how long the ticket is valid for. On my way, I see another woman walking aimlessly - I offer to drive her around to look for her car. Apparently she was with a News Cruiser - which I tell her I haven't seen. Anyhow someone back at the newstation is tracking the GPS coordinates of the truck to lead her to it.
I suggest to Cliff that this makes no sense, how can they tell her which direction to walk once they locate the truck? I have a feeling she was in the wrong parking structure - I walked a lot and never saw a news truck!
Mothers
I don't have kids so maybe I am being too critical. But the mothers in my life are driving me crazy.
First, my mother-in-law. She refuses to spend money. Rather than buy shoes that she likes, she takes hand me downs from people in her building - usually at least one size too big. She walks with a walker, is not very steady on her feet and has diabetes (which deadens the nerves in the feet) so I have told her that she must stop wearing shoes that are too big for her - its too dangerous as she is not sure footed enough. So she called to say that she went out and bought new sandals and had her feet measured. I was not so thrilled with the sandals but was relieved to know that she at least got the right size. Oh but wait, did I mention they cost 300 dollars?! Somewhere between taking all of the day old bread from the bakery and forcing friends and neighbours to take some home and buying 300 dollar shoes is where I would be most comfortable.
Then my mother. I pick her up at the airport and she is marvelling at how fast her suitcase came off the plane. Got home to hear a message that the bag is not hers, she picked up someone elses. Unfortunately we went to dinner first so we didn't get the message until an hour and a half later. She hadn't expected anyone else to have the same bag as hers since hers has a blue hawaiian print. Um, we didn't exactly spend a lot of money on it so its not like the company only made 100 for sale.
I didn't mind the mistake except that she kept feeling sorry for me having to drive back to the airport. I don't mind driving to the airport - I'm right at the 401 and Bayview so its a 20 minute drive. I did mind that I didn't hear her feel sorry for the poor people who got off the plane and couldn't find their luggage. Apparently the bag she took wasn't even off of her flight. Like I said, things happen but I think she could have felt badly for the people who landed in Toronto and didn't have their stuff.
And Mother's Day - for some reason we have to celebrate it on Sunday. Has to be Sunday. I have pleaded for the idea that the restaurants are much quieter on Monday but that just won't do. Thankfully my mother-in-law does not have the same feelings about it!
First, my mother-in-law. She refuses to spend money. Rather than buy shoes that she likes, she takes hand me downs from people in her building - usually at least one size too big. She walks with a walker, is not very steady on her feet and has diabetes (which deadens the nerves in the feet) so I have told her that she must stop wearing shoes that are too big for her - its too dangerous as she is not sure footed enough. So she called to say that she went out and bought new sandals and had her feet measured. I was not so thrilled with the sandals but was relieved to know that she at least got the right size. Oh but wait, did I mention they cost 300 dollars?! Somewhere between taking all of the day old bread from the bakery and forcing friends and neighbours to take some home and buying 300 dollar shoes is where I would be most comfortable.
Then my mother. I pick her up at the airport and she is marvelling at how fast her suitcase came off the plane. Got home to hear a message that the bag is not hers, she picked up someone elses. Unfortunately we went to dinner first so we didn't get the message until an hour and a half later. She hadn't expected anyone else to have the same bag as hers since hers has a blue hawaiian print. Um, we didn't exactly spend a lot of money on it so its not like the company only made 100 for sale.
I didn't mind the mistake except that she kept feeling sorry for me having to drive back to the airport. I don't mind driving to the airport - I'm right at the 401 and Bayview so its a 20 minute drive. I did mind that I didn't hear her feel sorry for the poor people who got off the plane and couldn't find their luggage. Apparently the bag she took wasn't even off of her flight. Like I said, things happen but I think she could have felt badly for the people who landed in Toronto and didn't have their stuff.
And Mother's Day - for some reason we have to celebrate it on Sunday. Has to be Sunday. I have pleaded for the idea that the restaurants are much quieter on Monday but that just won't do. Thankfully my mother-in-law does not have the same feelings about it!
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Taxes Are Done
Finally, the taxes have been submitted by Netfile. I was all set to go a few days ago but there were problems at Revenue Canada due to volume.
On top of the taxes we are also in the middle of renegotiating our mortgage which is due soon. I'm really the financial person in the relationship but I can't say its a gifting that I have.
I'm also working with Cliff to prearrange his mother's funeral. I am trying to convince her to get it prepaid incase she can't afford it later. If she winds up in a nursing home she will lose most of her savings so its actually to our benefit if you puts a bit a way now. I'm not saying that will happen. I also want her to make decisions so we don't have to get in an argument with other members of the family that will want all kinds of input without putting in any money. I have arranged two funerals now, my Dad's and Cliff's Dad and I really don't want the hassle again. However, there is squawking about the money required for a funeral home to take care of the chapel and service so I am getting instructions just to let the church take care of it. Which translates into me doing it since she is really not a member and our denomination is really hands off in the arranging. Booking the location, pastor, organist, typing up the liturgy and handling all of the catering (including setting up the reception area, making the coffee and washing dishes)is a real pain in the butt! I love the Roman Catholic church - the church ladies do all of the work - all you do is show up and mourn - and take away a huge platter of leftover sandwiches and cake!
On top of the taxes we are also in the middle of renegotiating our mortgage which is due soon. I'm really the financial person in the relationship but I can't say its a gifting that I have.
I'm also working with Cliff to prearrange his mother's funeral. I am trying to convince her to get it prepaid incase she can't afford it later. If she winds up in a nursing home she will lose most of her savings so its actually to our benefit if you puts a bit a way now. I'm not saying that will happen. I also want her to make decisions so we don't have to get in an argument with other members of the family that will want all kinds of input without putting in any money. I have arranged two funerals now, my Dad's and Cliff's Dad and I really don't want the hassle again. However, there is squawking about the money required for a funeral home to take care of the chapel and service so I am getting instructions just to let the church take care of it. Which translates into me doing it since she is really not a member and our denomination is really hands off in the arranging. Booking the location, pastor, organist, typing up the liturgy and handling all of the catering (including setting up the reception area, making the coffee and washing dishes)is a real pain in the butt! I love the Roman Catholic church - the church ladies do all of the work - all you do is show up and mourn - and take away a huge platter of leftover sandwiches and cake!
Friday's Feast May 2
Appetizer
What was your favorite cartoon when you were a child?
The family always watched Bugs Bunny together on Sunday evening - that was a lot of fun. I liked Bugs Bunny but I didn't really understand why my dad thought Wile E Coyote was hilarious - not until I was older. For Saturday cartoons I can't really remember most of them - but I do remember watching Scooby Doo pretty religiously.
Soup
Pretend you are about to get a new pet. Which animal would you pick, and what would you name it?
I'm a cat person. Not one of those crazy cat people - you know what I mean - the cat sweatshirts and lack of social skills... I like to get my cats from the shelter. We have Justice that we got from the shelter who was there almost a year. Beautiful cat with a nice disposition who was about 10 when we got her. And I was able to test her out at the shelter to see if I was allergic. As for names, you get stuck with what they have already named them. I like "cute" - we had a cat called "Clawdius" - he drooled alot. We also had Exador named after a really stupid character on Mork and Mindy. The last cat we had came named as "Button". The cat was too stocky to be a button so we changed his name to Winston. I read that as long as the syllables and the melody of the name are the same it really doesn't matter if you change the name. As we know, they don't come when you call unless they feel like it anyway.
Salad
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much do you enjoy getting all dressed up for a special occasion?
I used to love this. As I got older and fatter I got less excited. I like getting dressed up for Christmas parties because they tend to be evenings out for dinner where you can use more sparkly dresses and shoes and such.
Main Course
What kind of music do you listen to while you drive?
Anything I can sing to (unless I have passengers) which would tend to be soundtracks (Jesus Christ Superstar, Ragtime) or Genesis/Phil Collins or a mix tape with tons of everything. Most often I have 102.1 CFNY (I switch it off when I'm ferrying Christians around) or CBC radio on though.
Dessert
When was the last time you bought a clock? And in which room did you put it?
The last clock I bought was for Calvary Baptist's office. It was nice but under 10 bucks so wasn't the most accurate - I had to keep updating the time every month or so. I don't wear watches or use clocks - I tend to use the computer or tv for the time. When I'm out I check the time on my cell phone or on public telephones or on receipts I get at the stores. Its not that I'm cheap - just not disciplined enough to put one on my arm everyday.
What was your favorite cartoon when you were a child?
The family always watched Bugs Bunny together on Sunday evening - that was a lot of fun. I liked Bugs Bunny but I didn't really understand why my dad thought Wile E Coyote was hilarious - not until I was older. For Saturday cartoons I can't really remember most of them - but I do remember watching Scooby Doo pretty religiously.
Soup
Pretend you are about to get a new pet. Which animal would you pick, and what would you name it?
I'm a cat person. Not one of those crazy cat people - you know what I mean - the cat sweatshirts and lack of social skills... I like to get my cats from the shelter. We have Justice that we got from the shelter who was there almost a year. Beautiful cat with a nice disposition who was about 10 when we got her. And I was able to test her out at the shelter to see if I was allergic. As for names, you get stuck with what they have already named them. I like "cute" - we had a cat called "Clawdius" - he drooled alot. We also had Exador named after a really stupid character on Mork and Mindy. The last cat we had came named as "Button". The cat was too stocky to be a button so we changed his name to Winston. I read that as long as the syllables and the melody of the name are the same it really doesn't matter if you change the name. As we know, they don't come when you call unless they feel like it anyway.
Salad
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much do you enjoy getting all dressed up for a special occasion?
I used to love this. As I got older and fatter I got less excited. I like getting dressed up for Christmas parties because they tend to be evenings out for dinner where you can use more sparkly dresses and shoes and such.
Main Course
What kind of music do you listen to while you drive?
Anything I can sing to (unless I have passengers) which would tend to be soundtracks (Jesus Christ Superstar, Ragtime) or Genesis/Phil Collins or a mix tape with tons of everything. Most often I have 102.1 CFNY (I switch it off when I'm ferrying Christians around) or CBC radio on though.
Dessert
When was the last time you bought a clock? And in which room did you put it?
The last clock I bought was for Calvary Baptist's office. It was nice but under 10 bucks so wasn't the most accurate - I had to keep updating the time every month or so. I don't wear watches or use clocks - I tend to use the computer or tv for the time. When I'm out I check the time on my cell phone or on public telephones or on receipts I get at the stores. Its not that I'm cheap - just not disciplined enough to put one on my arm everyday.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
