Each Friday there is a blog where you can pick up random questions to answer - here they are for this Friday:
Friday, July 21, 2006
Feast One Hundred and Three
Appetizer
Fill in the blanks: I ____________ when I _____________.
I get road rage when I'm honked at. Not for a gentle honk but for a bullying honk. No one tells me how to drive!
Soup
Name something you use to make your home smell good.
Define "smell good". If I smell dinner cooking when I get in the door that smells mighty fine to me! I have been known to throw some cinnamon sticks into a pot of sugar and water to make the house smell Christmassy.
Salad
If you could receive a coupon in the mail for 50% off any product, what would you want it to be for?
A car of course!
Main Course
Besides sleeping, what do you spend the majority of the hours of your typical day doing?
Breathing. I try to do it at least every hour.
Dessert
What can you hear right now while answering these questions?
Traffic on the 401. - There's about 16 lanes of traffic right outside my backyard. We have a barrier and our yard is actually about 8 feet above the highway. I keep telling people that they should put a warning sign up on the housing side of the fence as a reminder that there is a highway and a drop off over the fence but everyone laughs. My friend wasn't laughing when she launched her son's toy airplane right over the fence! He wasn't either. Apparently there were no screeching tires to be heard.
We have always hoped that we would have the courage to launch our cats over the fence when they die. Have you seen the vet bills for disposal of a cat?
This also gives Cliff lots to do - there is a major crash out there at least once a year. One time he was able to climb up onto our shed to see if anyone needed help. There are tons of small crashes too - Cliff wakes up and gets on the phone. I roll over and go back to sleep! Everyone has a cell phone nowadays!
Friday, July 21, 2006
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Internship - Am I a Jew?
I'm writing my sermon for Sunday. Well, I have written the first draft and am procastinating. First I was going to do it this afternoon. Then this evening. Now tomorrow afternoon.
There are things I was supposed to know that I don't. I guess that now that I'm an intern now is the time to ask - before it gets really embarassing.
Part of my sermon talks about the Israelites (Jews) who were God's chosen and how through Christ the Gentiles were invited to join - both were united in one family. What bothers me is the theme that I keep hearing at Tyndale and church is that "we are the Gentiles who have been invited by Christ". Why do we assume that? Maybe I am a descendent of the church where Jews and Gentiles came together to form one united body. Maybe my family traces back to Judaism. I don't understand the assumption - yet I get the idea I am supposed to understand this assumption.
Isn't it weird how you can be doing something that you've always done and suddenly you get the feeling that you aren't doing it right? I used to have this at work. My friend Lesley would get the call - "Hey, I'm using this method to calculate this and I don't think I've ever done right!".
All I know for sure is that I am taking a handkerchief up with me. I led the service last week and was sweating so much! The Pastor was in a golf shirt and was still too hot. I had visions of my first foray into preaching in my new preaching shoes (feminine yet not fussy, low heel, no nonsense) and a jacket. Ain't gonna happen!
There are things I was supposed to know that I don't. I guess that now that I'm an intern now is the time to ask - before it gets really embarassing.
Part of my sermon talks about the Israelites (Jews) who were God's chosen and how through Christ the Gentiles were invited to join - both were united in one family. What bothers me is the theme that I keep hearing at Tyndale and church is that "we are the Gentiles who have been invited by Christ". Why do we assume that? Maybe I am a descendent of the church where Jews and Gentiles came together to form one united body. Maybe my family traces back to Judaism. I don't understand the assumption - yet I get the idea I am supposed to understand this assumption.
Isn't it weird how you can be doing something that you've always done and suddenly you get the feeling that you aren't doing it right? I used to have this at work. My friend Lesley would get the call - "Hey, I'm using this method to calculate this and I don't think I've ever done right!".
All I know for sure is that I am taking a handkerchief up with me. I led the service last week and was sweating so much! The Pastor was in a golf shirt and was still too hot. I had visions of my first foray into preaching in my new preaching shoes (feminine yet not fussy, low heel, no nonsense) and a jacket. Ain't gonna happen!
PAP Smear
I titled this one for those with any amount of decorum to stay away.
The yearly PAP smear is a pain in the ass.
I went to a new doctor this time. My other doctor has too many patients, keeps a filthy office and has never been able to do the PAP efficiently. I usually end up having to go to a gyne/obs guy.
I hate going to the gyne/obs because of all those pregnant women. I can't explain it but I used to really be freaked out by pregnant women. I'm getting over it. Since becoming a Christian I have a whole different feeling about having children. But at the time it was really freaking me out. Pregnancy looks uncomfortable. Women have that weird waddling way of walking. The clothes are somewhat better than what you find in large sizes but are always cheaply made as if they will disintegrate at 9 months. I spent a lot of years ensuring I didn't get pregnant - sitting with the reproducing folks just gets me anxious.
The gyne guy was great. He didn't know why my own doctor had troubles - it took me longer to dress and undress than for him to do the exam.
My doctor later admitted that her speculum isn't long enough. So she sends me to a specialist 'cause he's got longer ones.
See, I'm a practial person. Just give me the freakin' catalogue and I'll order my own. I'll even let you use it on other people as long as it remains in the office.
So, in an effort to find a doctor with a clean office, who wouldn't continually forget to put things in my file and hopefully had a greater range of speculums, I changed to a very nice, quiet man. His receptionist comes in during the procedure - I figure why not. If its that interesting maybe we should broadcast it live to the waiting room.
Ah, but my gentle friend as the same difficulties. A lot of fiddling going on down there. I'm a visual person so all I can imagine is what is the problem? During some counselling sessions my therapist had me imagine a vacuum inside my centre to suck up all kinds of things and then put them in these containers. Suddenly, the image of these containers impeding his progress comes to mind. Then my mind drifts to treasure chests. The whole time he is very quietly saying "does it hurt?". I notice that he knows damn well that it hurt because he only says it after he has hurt me.
Anyhow, he got what he wanted. Typical. He was very apologetic and assured me that he is sure that I won't have to go back to the gyne. I thanked him. He said "My pleasure..." he stopped realising that that really isn't what you say. Not unless you are offering me a cigarette.
That was yesterday and today was the dentist. More poking and probing. Overall, the internal was a less nerve wracking experience. I hate it when the hygenist doesn't say "please" - all this "Open, wider", "Turn", "Close". I tried to explain this to a dentist who asked what made me anxious. Once you lay down in that chair you have really lost any control in the relationship. There are cutting instruments being used and I'm tilted into a chair. Its not like I can suddenly make a run for it.
The yearly PAP smear is a pain in the ass.
I went to a new doctor this time. My other doctor has too many patients, keeps a filthy office and has never been able to do the PAP efficiently. I usually end up having to go to a gyne/obs guy.
I hate going to the gyne/obs because of all those pregnant women. I can't explain it but I used to really be freaked out by pregnant women. I'm getting over it. Since becoming a Christian I have a whole different feeling about having children. But at the time it was really freaking me out. Pregnancy looks uncomfortable. Women have that weird waddling way of walking. The clothes are somewhat better than what you find in large sizes but are always cheaply made as if they will disintegrate at 9 months. I spent a lot of years ensuring I didn't get pregnant - sitting with the reproducing folks just gets me anxious.
The gyne guy was great. He didn't know why my own doctor had troubles - it took me longer to dress and undress than for him to do the exam.
My doctor later admitted that her speculum isn't long enough. So she sends me to a specialist 'cause he's got longer ones.
See, I'm a practial person. Just give me the freakin' catalogue and I'll order my own. I'll even let you use it on other people as long as it remains in the office.
So, in an effort to find a doctor with a clean office, who wouldn't continually forget to put things in my file and hopefully had a greater range of speculums, I changed to a very nice, quiet man. His receptionist comes in during the procedure - I figure why not. If its that interesting maybe we should broadcast it live to the waiting room.
Ah, but my gentle friend as the same difficulties. A lot of fiddling going on down there. I'm a visual person so all I can imagine is what is the problem? During some counselling sessions my therapist had me imagine a vacuum inside my centre to suck up all kinds of things and then put them in these containers. Suddenly, the image of these containers impeding his progress comes to mind. Then my mind drifts to treasure chests. The whole time he is very quietly saying "does it hurt?". I notice that he knows damn well that it hurt because he only says it after he has hurt me.
Anyhow, he got what he wanted. Typical. He was very apologetic and assured me that he is sure that I won't have to go back to the gyne. I thanked him. He said "My pleasure..." he stopped realising that that really isn't what you say. Not unless you are offering me a cigarette.
That was yesterday and today was the dentist. More poking and probing. Overall, the internal was a less nerve wracking experience. I hate it when the hygenist doesn't say "please" - all this "Open, wider", "Turn", "Close". I tried to explain this to a dentist who asked what made me anxious. Once you lay down in that chair you have really lost any control in the relationship. There are cutting instruments being used and I'm tilted into a chair. Its not like I can suddenly make a run for it.
When Coffee isn't Coffee
http://www.christianitytoday.com/leaders/newsletter/2006/cln60717.html
I'm a Seinfeld fan. Do you remember when George was asked up for a coffee and he refused? He had to get up in the morning. Later he exclaims "coffee wasn't coffee".
The above article is written by a guru in church circles. A lot of what he has to say is compelling. But when you invite someone for coffee - it should just be coffee - unless its sex.
These are the rules that normally people live by. And I now realise that this trick of inviting me to coffee because I think you just want to chat with me but really you want me to do something for you (yeah, yeah, I know its for God) has been implemented on me. Next time my church pulls this stunt, I'm gonna look the Pastor straight in the eye and say "if this ain't about coffee it better be about sex". That oughta free up my coffee schedule for people who want to talk to me and not sell me something.
Here's an idea. If you want someone to volunteer - just bloodly well ask them. Don't waste my time. There's a great bumper sticker out there - "As an atheist I don't have a problem with God, its his fan club I can't stand".
Rest assured, coffee with me is coffee. If it ain't I always tell you ahead of time.
I'm a Seinfeld fan. Do you remember when George was asked up for a coffee and he refused? He had to get up in the morning. Later he exclaims "coffee wasn't coffee".
The above article is written by a guru in church circles. A lot of what he has to say is compelling. But when you invite someone for coffee - it should just be coffee - unless its sex.
These are the rules that normally people live by. And I now realise that this trick of inviting me to coffee because I think you just want to chat with me but really you want me to do something for you (yeah, yeah, I know its for God) has been implemented on me. Next time my church pulls this stunt, I'm gonna look the Pastor straight in the eye and say "if this ain't about coffee it better be about sex". That oughta free up my coffee schedule for people who want to talk to me and not sell me something.
Here's an idea. If you want someone to volunteer - just bloodly well ask them. Don't waste my time. There's a great bumper sticker out there - "As an atheist I don't have a problem with God, its his fan club I can't stand".
Rest assured, coffee with me is coffee. If it ain't I always tell you ahead of time.
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