To Sing or Not To Sing

I have problems with boundaries. I tend to push into other people's if I think something is unjust. So when my therapist told me that her church decided not to have a choir anymore because they only want a praise team* I immediately knew what I would have done. I would have gotten the choir together and had them sit in one area of the church together and we would have belted out every tune! Not that I like choirs - the better they are the less I can understand what they are singing. Now at the other end of the spectrum is Ian's friend who "goes to church every Sunday". Ian was surprised to find out that he goes to church - but then the truth came out - he is paid to sing in the choir. He shows up for practice once a week and on Sunday to sing. He is not a church member and basically shows for the paycheque. Somewhere between not wanting the services of a choir and paying people to fill the holes in the choir suits me just fine!

*non-churched dictionary - this took me forever to figure out, and I still don't get it. Churches tend to have a choir - usually in robes that sing the older hymns and are can be informal to very formal. A Praise Team is a small group of people who stand at the front and are usually good singers but less formal in what they sing. More uplifting, emotional stuff with instruments like drums and guitars (gasp!). I have yet to figure out why a praise team is necessary and maybe I'm ahead of my time but I would like to see praise teams abolished. Have instruments and stuff to play the music but for goodness sakes the whole congregation should be the praise team!

Alpha - Perspective on Ministry

I somehow got pulled into Alpha. Well, no, it was my own fault. The person who runs it asked me when I go to school and learning that I'm free Thursdays wanted to know if I could cover off some Alpha sessions during his vacation. He's done this before, he books Alpha then looks for a backup. I'm the only backup left and I agreed to cover his weeks. Well tonight was the first session and I'm covering the next two weeks so I ended up staying tonight to sit in since I need to meet the people and they need to meet me.

I was thinking about ministry. I always thought there would be a moment when I was officially doing ministry. But there isn't -I'm always doing it. Stepping in to do Alpha is something I can do and should do since we lack another leader at the moment. That's ministry. That's it. You do up Sunday worship and then step in and out of roles the rest of the week. Show up at meetings, visit people and somewhere in there do your own devotions to keep connected to God so you can step into whatever needs doing. I'm leading a worship service at a nursing home in a few weeks time and I have no idea what I will do. I've never been there, I don't even know if they have a piano which means a capella for me again which I force myself to do but really would rather not.

Its not that I'm disappointed, its just that somewhere between the summer and now I'm suddenly doing ministry much like a pastor. Not with the full responsibilities but slowly getting there. I have the benefit of still being able to screw up a lot because I am learning so this is still gravy.

So two people came to Alpha - two that we weren't expecting and another seven didn't show that we were. And the two that show are Christian. At first I'm irritated because one of them is the kind of Christian that has turned me off Christianity in the past. But I realise that this is ministry - its not about me its about the other person and their needs. And I realise that as much as I am passionate about non-Christians that I have a lot that I can share with Christians in terms of leading to deeper understandings of Christ and broadening the appreciation of what it means to be a Christ follower and what church is supposed to be about. Why would people in a church come out to Alpha if they weren't seeking something - maybe friends, or a non-judgemental new face or a better understanding. The servant thing is starting to take hold in my heart - God serves everyone, thankfully he isn't choosy like I am!

Anyhow I have a great opportunity to listen and not set the agenda and to learn more about churched Christians and what they seek so I'll pray about that for next week!

I'm backkk

Yup, I'm back after a long hiatus. The Holland trip just brought out nasty blogging on my part and I had to take a break.

Now that I'm back into school and getting a new rhythym with work/ministry and school I need to find time to laugh!

Like today - I went for a stress test for my heart. I had nagging arm pain in August and went to the ER where I quickly determined that the nurse knew I wasn't having a heart attack so I left. My doc however wanted a stress test and I figured I better though I'm sure it was a waste of OHIP's money.

It really was a stress test - I stressed about it! What do I wear, will there be people watching me, how stupid am I going to look. And then there is the whole weird feeling of being back in NYGH. Its so weird - everything looks different and yet I run into people I worked with and it seems like I've entered another dimension.

In the end I had to get my heart up to 179 - I think I got it close enough. And there was nothing to worry about it was all very dignified.

I had this strange moment though when I looked at the men and women dressed in their work clothes and shiny shoes and felt that I missed it. Something about walking around in heels and skirts and jackets and talking about very technical things - its like a game and a culture that I know so well it feels comfortable.

I have to find a new hospital, I just hate going back there!