Cottage Dreaming...

I have this dream. We own this modular home (trailer home for those in the know!) that is 3 bedrooms and 2 baths. It needs a lot of work - we have one room where we need the drywall replaced. I want to take out carpetting and replace it with linoleum in some areas and in others with wood.

I need to clean out the underneat, put up wainscotting around the outside while also ensuring proper ventilation - tons of vents given the square footage.

None of this work is possible for us because we just don't have a clue. C has done some work around the place which is not bad but for what we want we need professionals.

On the other hand, when we first bought the place we pictured it full every weekend and lots of weeks with people from the church and friends who would be interested in using it. Originally when we were looking around Prince Edward County I had imagined an older house that could be used by the local church for meetings if needed.

Now my dream is to find a family that could live in their and do the work in exchange for rent for a year. With the economy being what it is, maybe this is possible but it is so idealistic - I can't imagine a lawyer wanting to tackle this. How would we work out whether the work was fair in exchange - how would the person staying keep disciplined enough to keep on working while livng in there - how much gas will it cost me to heat the place? I keep thinking that this should be a good idea somehow. Maybe I just have to sink the money into it and then rent it out to recoup some of my expenditures.

Worse, the assessed value just went through the roof, I bought it for less then half the value it is now listed as. There is no way it is worth this, I can't imagine the land going for anywhere near that and mobile homes are a dime a dozen.

So, I am keeping this an open idea - maybe there is another plan similiar that I could put into place. If I had known that I would leave my job I never would have bought a separate property - at the time it was perfect for the few overlapping days off my husband and I had to get away - but now its an unused luxury.

Um, I guess I know what I'm doing.

Well, that was quick. After requesting prayer, I got a call that my mother-in-law has fallen and may have broken a hip. I have a feeling I know what I will be doing for the next while.

I'm very pragmatic. Which makes me seem cold. I found out at 4:00 and within forty minutes I have already alerted my husband and debated with my friend the legality of moving her money in our joint account out to my account. Yes, I know this is very unethical and I wouldn't likely do it but I do want to know my options. Since we handle her money and there is another sibling involved who will want to know where all the money went I need to be on top of options. In case you are wondering what this has to do with anything, well, if you end up going into long-term care the cost usually is more than what one can afford.

The question is is the meagre savings she have safe or will it be dipped into every month to pay the fee so that she has nothing left in order to have some spending money? I interned in a nursing home for a short time and was disappointed to see people forced to wear worn out clothing and nylons with runs in them because the trustee had not dropped off any funds to purchase new items. This was in one of the best (and expensive) nursing homes at the time.

On the other hand, from a strictly ethical point of view it is not fair for the tax payer to pay more for the institutional care because some (many) families start hiding the assets. Just because everyone does it doesn't make it right. So now the question is does long term care go after your cash on hand or just your monthly income. I'm off to find out.

This sounds very cruel to suppose that she won't be able to return home but this is her second broken hip (if it is broken) and if it is the same one I'm not sure how fast it will heal. Hopefully she will be able to return home but for those who have seen loved ones in a hospital you know that the motivation of the patient and the first week of rehab has a lot to do with the outcome. Not to mention that pneumonia is a very common side effect of these injuries which tends to lengthen the length of stay and screw up the opportunity for rehab. Hopefully she will be able to fight off all these things but I've been working with hospital data too long not to know that this is not the best scenario. Its also a Sunday, bad day to be admitted - OR's open tomorrow with a full schedule, specialists are on call and you may not get a bed until Monday morning -since any empty beds from Friday were grabbed up by Saturday morning. The best thing to do is hang around the place like a vulture making yourself helpful to the nurses (doing all the niceties of care) but also checking every detail so nothing gets missed.

Hurry up and wait.

I think I'm in the Hurry Up and Wait stage of my journey - again. After being overloaded with too much work, I now have very little to do at the church. In fact they are having an introduction to missional churches being hosted by Home Missions which given the events before January I would have expected to be helping out with. I was supposed to be sitting on that committte and though I have been told by those with inside knowledge that my name was forwarded and approved I have not heard anything more. Not to mention my whole degree at school is focused on missional thinking. I have more background then the presenter just from the fact of living it for a year and a half in my studies.

Instead, I was specifically notified to come and yet I can't say my heart is in it. Without a pastor and being in the middle of the pastoral search this seems a strange time to introduce new ideas to the church. I think we need a breather to figure out who we are before we decide where we want to go.

My own covenant with the church is pretty much gone. After the fiasco of handling my proposal for a sermon which was not considered "acceptable" I have withdrawn from preaching. Even if the sermon outline was as bad as that there is a way of handling these disputes and this was not handled properly whether a fellow parishioner or in this case an ordained elder. I have been urged to take it formally to Council but have felt the way the winds are blowing and can see that this is a big blow up waiting for a venue.

Anyhow, as a student I seek a mentor. Someone who will guide me and give me more perspective but not cut me down at the knees with little help to get back up. This is not the place and I suspect not the right city. I have contacted the rep once again who is supposed to guide me in all things Calvin and have gotten no response.

I'm so well aware that there is a much easier path - one of the churches that his highly recommended by the Baptists as being missional is looking for an associate pastor - one of the roles is to provide pastoral care to the elderly and women. The elderly is by best area of pastoral care - no mention of teens which are completely out of my league. I'm not sure that I would apply for this position but could put forward my name as an intern willing to pick up the extra that this new position can't handle and perhaps they would be happy to have a student with some background.

It seems easy doesn't it? Here's a church that has been in the back of my mind ready to expand its staff and yet I'm leary. I'm not convinced that I'm done with this annoying denomination yet. The fact that it annoys me so much keeps me feeling like I'm here because I see the promise of the people that our theology and sense of "right" keeps us from releasing.

This refusal to go the easier route drives my friends crazy who see my stubborness as some form of selfpunishment - I understand that but this isn't like other jobs.

So, I'm in between again. I have missed more church since December then I ever have in my life. Cliff is ready to go somewhere else and I am just trying to figure out what to do next. I don't want to push ahead where I need to be patient and yet don't want to sit still - especially if I am not feeling the same way about my church. The problem with church is that I normally believe that you stick it out wherever you are because that is your community. But professionally, I don't know what more I can learn here expect more patience. Somehow I have to force my butt into the pew!