After being totally overwhelmed with the opportunity to preach at my church and making it the biggest deal it could be I am happy to say that I am still standing.
I go through this everytime, no matter what I do I rarely am satisfied with what was preached. I had some technical problems in my delivery but its more a criticism of how I want it to be delivered and how it actually gets delivered. That might be a good thing.
I think the biggest problem I had was that the message wasn't really what I wanted. It was close but in changing some things to get it approved the focus got thrown where I didn't really intend it to go. It was a good message and I pray that the Holy Spirit did the rest.
And that's the thing I keep telling myself. I can't account for my own sinfulness in the process. I can only try my best and leave the rest to God and let him take it where it needs to go.
I am still in thought about my next one. Its so hard to discern what God wants to say apart from what I think the church needs to hear. I am still working through this - does being called mean that I have any more insight then anyone else as to what is needed? How do I know whether to trust my own instincts and intuition without getting caught up in my own perspective? I can't separate myself from the message - God teaches me a lot through my work on the passages so preaching seems selfish in some respects.
Right now I am thinking about Moses and all the complaining the people had when they were in the desert. A lot of stuff is coming to me about this passage and it will be interesting to see how it turns out! I relate so well with the complainers!
Friday, July 04, 2008
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Snakes Alive! - Part 2
After discovering a snake lying in the door to our bedroom which sadly is where the bathroom is I realised a few things:
- everyone lied who told me snakes couldn't possibly get into the cottage
- the underbelly of the trailer where the bathroom is needs to be patched immediately
- it will be impossible for me to ever pee in that bathroom again
Sadly, the other bathroom was out of commission while C repairs a few pipes. And after holding for many, many hours I had to pee. So I send C into the bedroom and bathroom to check it out. He comes back assuring me that there is no culprits lurking.
I shuffle my way over, ensuring that C stays there in case something happens. I look cautiously in the bathroom and lo and behold the toilet seat is down! I ask "Did you lift the lid". No.
Anyone who has ever considered a snake loose in the city knows the fear of going to the toilet at 3:00 a.m. In the light of day, it seems ridiculous to worry about some random culprit popping up but at the "death hour" (most people who die of natural causes die between 3-4 a.m.) fear is ever present.
I assured C that until the seat is lifted and the bowl inspected his check is completely useless.
Now why they decided to put a heat vent right in front of the toilet I don't know. Even before "The Incident" it worried me a bit. But now I need C to stand at the door because I can't possibly scan every entry point on my own.
It gets better. Later in the evening as I started to feel a bit more at ease I finally got up the nerve to have a shower. I told C he had to sit in the bathroom with me because I can't stand not knowing what is going on while I'm in that enclosed space. Idiot. At some point to reassure me that he is still there - he reaches in and pokes me on the back! Once the screaming subsided he understood that there is a reason for all those shower scenes in movies!!
- everyone lied who told me snakes couldn't possibly get into the cottage
- the underbelly of the trailer where the bathroom is needs to be patched immediately
- it will be impossible for me to ever pee in that bathroom again
Sadly, the other bathroom was out of commission while C repairs a few pipes. And after holding for many, many hours I had to pee. So I send C into the bedroom and bathroom to check it out. He comes back assuring me that there is no culprits lurking.
I shuffle my way over, ensuring that C stays there in case something happens. I look cautiously in the bathroom and lo and behold the toilet seat is down! I ask "Did you lift the lid". No.
Anyone who has ever considered a snake loose in the city knows the fear of going to the toilet at 3:00 a.m. In the light of day, it seems ridiculous to worry about some random culprit popping up but at the "death hour" (most people who die of natural causes die between 3-4 a.m.) fear is ever present.
I assured C that until the seat is lifted and the bowl inspected his check is completely useless.
Now why they decided to put a heat vent right in front of the toilet I don't know. Even before "The Incident" it worried me a bit. But now I need C to stand at the door because I can't possibly scan every entry point on my own.
It gets better. Later in the evening as I started to feel a bit more at ease I finally got up the nerve to have a shower. I told C he had to sit in the bathroom with me because I can't stand not knowing what is going on while I'm in that enclosed space. Idiot. At some point to reassure me that he is still there - he reaches in and pokes me on the back! Once the screaming subsided he understood that there is a reason for all those shower scenes in movies!!
Snakes Alive - Part 1
Egads!
Went to the cottage from Monday to Wednesday. Lots of work to do there - the first being the cutting of the grass. It takes about 4 hours to do the whole thing, maybe longer. My better half always starts a section for me so that I can walk in the short grass while I move the long grass. I have a phobia of snakes and it is impossible for me to negotiate long grass!
Well, I got most of the back done but as the front got started I saw a little snake dart under the cottage. Hubby clipped his tail - which grossed me out because somewhere there is a littl snakey tail lying about.
We followed the snake into the back woods, I tried to take an interest hoping that I can get over this fear by sheer willpower. No such luck - after trying to mow the front yard I had to give in to my fear!
So we went inside and played on our ancient Nintendo. While I was playing, C was getting ready to do some work on the water pipe. He comes out of the bedroom and puts on one rubber glove. Thinking he has seen a mouse, I ask him. Nope, he says "there is one in here". A snake is in our cottage!!
I will spare you the hysterical details which basically has me in tears and unable to function. First was the chant "I need to get out of here". Once I was out the chant was "Get IT out". The culprit was about a foot and a half - C agrees with this (I think it was closer to 2 feet but I tend to exagerate in these circumstances).
Different options are explored, along with the mantra "I want to go home". Since it is only Tuesday early afternoon there is a long day and night ahead. I finally find a spot on the deck where I can see everything and keep my feet up. C spends the next four hours working on the water pipe that needs to be replaced.
After four hours I worked up enough courage to consider staying the night. Because I knew that if I went home I would never step foot on the property again. I don't know how I did it because even now I am freaked out. I don't even like typing the S word!
Went to the cottage from Monday to Wednesday. Lots of work to do there - the first being the cutting of the grass. It takes about 4 hours to do the whole thing, maybe longer. My better half always starts a section for me so that I can walk in the short grass while I move the long grass. I have a phobia of snakes and it is impossible for me to negotiate long grass!
Well, I got most of the back done but as the front got started I saw a little snake dart under the cottage. Hubby clipped his tail - which grossed me out because somewhere there is a littl snakey tail lying about.
We followed the snake into the back woods, I tried to take an interest hoping that I can get over this fear by sheer willpower. No such luck - after trying to mow the front yard I had to give in to my fear!
So we went inside and played on our ancient Nintendo. While I was playing, C was getting ready to do some work on the water pipe. He comes out of the bedroom and puts on one rubber glove. Thinking he has seen a mouse, I ask him. Nope, he says "there is one in here". A snake is in our cottage!!
I will spare you the hysterical details which basically has me in tears and unable to function. First was the chant "I need to get out of here". Once I was out the chant was "Get IT out". The culprit was about a foot and a half - C agrees with this (I think it was closer to 2 feet but I tend to exagerate in these circumstances).
Different options are explored, along with the mantra "I want to go home". Since it is only Tuesday early afternoon there is a long day and night ahead. I finally find a spot on the deck where I can see everything and keep my feet up. C spends the next four hours working on the water pipe that needs to be replaced.
After four hours I worked up enough courage to consider staying the night. Because I knew that if I went home I would never step foot on the property again. I don't know how I did it because even now I am freaked out. I don't even like typing the S word!
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