Craigslist - no nasty stuff!

Okay, when I'm looking at the free listings - especially for beds (gross) there are thoughts that I have about the possible condition of the bed. This ad gets right to it:

King Sized Bed

Nikken Magnet bed. Helps to heal body pain and re-align energy in the body. Comes with White platform.

No stains, no sex, no nasty stuff.

Yuck. Some things are better left unsaid.

Now What?

I'm feeling much better today. I think I was overwhelmed with too much stuff. And as a bonus I got a message from a friend that I was so disappointed to not hear from so hopefully I will get a hold of them.

But I'm not sure what to do next. I have a paper to finish in the next few days and then another one due at the end of June and a visit from a relative at the end of the month.

The house is a disaster! I really need some solid time to handle it. And I've started this new diet - only on day 2 and I think I will be very cranky by the end. Very low carb, low fat, high protein. Eating extra lean hamburger for breakfast is going to get old really fast. And I am craving a doughnut. Coffee and doughnuts/dessert replaced my after dinner/coffee cigarette so I'm feeling especially tempted in the evening. Its going to be a long two weeks.

So, on the one hand I really need to get a job. On the other, a job in ministry seems especially difficult given that the economy is bad (the one church that seemed interested is having a hard time budget wise) and because I'm not sure what I will use for a reference.

I think I will have to just keep my eyes open and see what happens. Maybe looking in July will be a bit better because the college students probably have a job then and I have more experience then others looking for part time work. I wish I had worked retail at some point in my life. I think short term clerical would be best for now but it sounds like I'm being picky.

Maybe I just sit still and see what unfolds. A quiet summer might be a good idea though I feel guilty to not be doing anything. There seems to be a cycle of "hurry up and wait" mixed with being too busy. I'm starting to question my own perspective of God's presence in all of this. Maybe I have been deluding myself or maybe its time I took care of my health and my home before I commit to anything else!

Funny Lost and Found

From Craigslist, Lost and Found:

"Alright, I lost a copy of Beneath the Wheel somewhere around Spadina on Thursday night. The book was not in great shape and only cost me $4.00 but I was damn near done with it and am wondering what happened. I went to 2 bookstores today and couldnt find it, I don't really feel like digging around a used book store for that specific titles (though that is where I initially got it) probably go to Library soon, (but i lost my library card too and that is a hassle). So if you found this book I would appreciate it if you read the rest of the book and email me a detailed summary of the last half (i was to the point where Hans left Maulbronn). Thanks, "

So Down Today

I don't know why but I just feel really down today.

I think it is the accumulation of the stress of last Monday and the slow realisation that I don't have a clue what to do now. And because I'm starting a horrible diet that I need to do but means no cake on Saturday. I look forward to cake and everything just sucks.

And partly because someone I considered a friend hasn't touched base with me.

Lots of people come in and out of our lives - I used to be an Airforce Brat so I've had friends and lost them - but I have always had a really hard time if I've felt close to someone and they have not given me closure.

I really need to find someone who has the call to ministry who can support me and hold me accountable - not just one or the other!

Professional Words

I was talking to a friend about doing some pulpit supply over the summer. I forget that we often use words that are very familiar in one profession but completely unknown in another.
She thought that I was saying that I would be travelling around selling pulpits to churches over the summer. Logical assumption and I'm open to new ideas :)


Which reminds me of a story from C. In medical circles an "MI" is a myocardial infarct - that is a heart attack. In policing circles an "MI" is an mentally insane/imbalanced person. These terms are used so commonly that they just come out without remembering that they are professional lingo that not everyone knows.
Down at the Coroner's Office a woman came to the front desk who was obviously not mentally well wanting to check to see if she was dead. A person involved with policing went to one of the docs in the office hoping to find someone who could figure out what to do with this woman as she obviously needed help. So he said "Hey, I've got an MI down at the front desk can you help me". The coroner heard - "Hey, I've got a heart attack down at the front desk" as he explained later, "I haven't treated a live patient in ages!"

Are we allowed to thank people?

C reported on an odd event. A moment came where a group of volunteers were leaving and a spokesperson was asked say a word of thanks.

The response to this was:

"when I was first asked to do this, I wondered if we normally do this, do we thank people before they leave?"

Wow, talk about a Protestant work ethic. First, that it would be against tradition to thank volunteers. Secondly, that there wouldn't be a recognition of how much it says about your company if you have to think about whether its okay to thank people and then to not be aware that sharing this thought with the gathering of folks might be as bad as not thanking people at all. Sometimes its better to keep these thoughts to ourselves and be gracious. Was this verbalized in case someone complains that it was wrong to thank the volunteers?

Yup, sign me up. I want to volunteer where even being asked to thank volunteers becomes a well thought out decision.

I don't get it. Gee, I used to thank employees for their work a few times a year usually around Christmas and around Staff Appreciation Day. Sometimes for no reason at all or when they had really pulled together - and yet these were paid employees. I wonder if this is a cultural thing and if anyone else other than C and I think its weird.

Hmm, interesting week.

Thankfully God measures time for us in weeks. We can leave one week behind and imagine a fresh hopefully better week is ahead.

Preached to a near empty church today where I was almost the oldest one in the room. What a greatly different experience - much less formal and much more welcoming the human, relational side of preaching where the younger folks hope that you will share some of your vulnerabilty - what is your journey about? Not prepared for that angle and my presentation was not good - the message was good but maybe not what they needed to hear and like I said my confidence in this new setting wasn't fully there. I like to preach without my notes and I just wasn't at that point today - I'm so much more passionate when I can put away the manuscript.

But I may be asked back. Which is nice thought as now I can say that I have a fuller appreciation for the context of this church and what they are used to.

Incredible worship and one song in particular was so good that I was going to check it out on Google. After talking to the worship leader turns out that his brother wrote it!

But the weirdest time was yesterday. I'm in this preaching group which contains people from my church. I was scheduled to preach to half of the group. The other half has a few elders from my church and I was thankful that I did not have to preach to them given my decision not to return to my church.

As a matter of fact, I would have skipped this last class altogether because I got to bed very late. But from a pastoral point of view I did not want those who were involved in the disasterous meeting of Monday to read anything into my absence as if I am bitter or snubbing them.

I'm met in the parking lot by the leader who wants to know if I would be willing to share my sermon with the whole group as the 2nd group has a change of plans and could sit in. My first reaction is to refuse. I explained that there was a conflict. Especially considering that the sermon to be preached was the same one that has caused so much problems back in December. I had no idea that anyone who was aware of this issue would be there - I had been promised the freedom to preach without the burden of having these people ready to critique. A little part of me was also worried that this was a set up.

I was urged to go ahead. I explained that I did not want anyone to think that I had purposefully come with the offending sermon to hold everyone captive to hear it - as if to thumb my nose.

I went ahead. Not sure of myself and barely able to look anyone in the face because I was so uncomfortable - I'm sure this will be read as further "un Christ-like behaviour" rather than acute embarassment on my part.

I may never know, but I can' t help but suspect that preaching this sermon in front of the elder that had nothing nice to say about it was a bad idea. But the alternative was to come intending to preach and then refusing. I shouldn't have been put into this position to begin with.

Not sure that I will go back for any services in my old church. Don't really see the point - I like the church family of course but I'm one of those "let's rip the bandaid off" kinda people. I'm not staying so whether I go back for one last service or not doesn't seem important to me. Its not like I'm going to walk around and tell people that I have decided to leave so my last service to them is just another day. I guess this will sort itself out somehow. People who notice that I'm not around can call or ask C where I am. I just don't think anyone is really going to care that much.

Things are what they seem...

Here's a story from long ago. This one is for my other L friend - LH who knows how I can get into a righteous rant!

I was volunteering and on a certain evening we had a legal aid clinic that offered some free advice. The lawyer who came in was a nice man - didn't really get to know him but he seemed pleasant enough. He worked in a little room to the side of our counter.

One day he is working and my coworker comes back from the room and says "Sorry, I just had to tie Joe's shoe for him". Well I was infuriated. Where did this lawyer get off thinking that he can ask volunteers to tie his shoes! Really! Was it because some of the volunteers had no choice but to do as asked? I was in a righteous rant. Suddenly I realised that I was getting a bemused look from my coworker. He says:







"You know he only has one arm don't you?"




Um, no I didn't. I had worked with this guy for a long time and never noticed that one of his arms was a prosthetic with no function. I was extremely thankful he hadn't asked me to tie his shoes!!

Especially for LK

For those who are not familiar with Christianity or literary themes - the ease with which the devil tempted Eve was that he is the master of lies - telling them so well that they are believable - because they play on our weaknesses.


I have a secret. I used to be quite proud of this story but now sort of see it in a different light. You will understand the picture and my altered view on this event at the end.

Its especially for LK who I hope will see the humour in it.

I worked as a volunteer for a great number of hours. I absolutely loved the job - it was working with helping people finding info they needed. I was out of high school and looking for work having determined that my first career choice was not going to work out.

The head of the volunteers was a real nutcase. She was very needy and manipulated people. I didn't really understand it at the time but now I see her busy ways and continual drama was to compensate for something else missing in her life.

After over a year of solid volunteer work I noticed that volunteers would suddenly leave. People who had volunteered or a long time would suddenly quit. One afternoon I was asked to work and one of the older workers was offended that I was there - she didn't feel that she needed the help. She told me very clearly that if the boss did not call her back by the end of the week she would not come back.

Well the boss didn't call back. I felt a sense of urgency but she just kept brushing it off. She brushed the volunteer off as well. Then something happened where it was accidentally divulged to me that a lot of the volunteers were there to complete their community service hours. I suddenly realised that the long term volunteer volunteers didn't seem to last. At one point another leader in the service agency pointed out that we would not be so short of volunteers if my boss could keep them longer. She was infuriated and I commiserated with her not totally getting it.

Then one day it happened to me. I was booked to do something and she totally ignored my request for a bathroom break and made it sound that I was unreasonable when I asked why I was not relieved (literally). Another time she accused me of getting too close to my male friend who I worked with and insisted on splitting us onto different shifts. He couldn't say anything because he was not exactly there by choice.

Another volunteer left. I really liked her but I was warned that she had been a problem.

I loved working there and my fiance in one of the few times he has ever told me his opinion told me to leave. In the end she accused me of telling someone that one of the workers was there on community service. Being employed at a highly sensitive government agency I was really offended and worried by her accusation. I had to quit.

I mulled this over in my head. How could I quit and keep my integrity? She would likely say that I had to leave. She would hint that I had done something "horrible". That it was good for everyone that I had left. It just really bothered me - I couldn't stand people thinking the worse of me and her getting away with it.

I hit upon the perfect plan. I went to my next shift walked over to her and handed her my key to the office and said very slowly with great annunciation.


"Here is your f'***ing key, take it and shove it up your a**" And then I ran like heck to the car parked outside before she could call security.

This was the most brilliant plan. My boss told anyone who would listen about what I had done to her. My good friend who still worked there was banned from speaking to me! She also told him to tell me that I would never volunteer in the City of North York ever again. Which was funny because he pointed out he could hardly tell me since he wasn't allowed to speak to me! Apparently a week later she was still telling everyone who would listen what I had done. She could not believe it. Well...neither could they. I purposefully hid myself for a bit so I wouldn't run into anyone. So when my friend told me how she was telling this huge lie about me and how no one believed her I had a good laugh. So did he when I told him I had actually done it! No one thought that I was capable of being so rude and offensive. The little old ladies who volunteered could not imagine such a thing - I am just so sweet and quiet.

Apparently things didn't quiet down for months. And no one ever believed any of the stories made up about how I was a lousy volunteer because the one story she told that was absolutely true was so outrageous they thought she made it up.

That was about 21 years ago. I don't tell that story much anymore because it really shows a conniving mean spirit. I still feel really uncomfortable when my integrity comes into question - I am open and willing to take responsibility for my faults but I just can't stand being accused of something I haven't done.


There you go LK - a story that I'm only telling because you need some entertainment!

Craigslist

Here is an item someone has posted:

People who have worked with dead or dying people (Toronto)

One of the Peanuts' characters replied once "My mind is reeling with sarcastic replies". Yes, as is mine. How many people are going to email in jokes about their coworkers!


And from the lost and found department I thought this was pretty funny:

"Found a Yarmulke on Ossignton between bloor and Hallam. I left it there, but could go back and look for it if someone owns it. It had two little clips on it. "

Um, is this for real? I go out of my way to help people but not to this extent. I'm going to post this on the off chance someone looks to see if it was found?