Especially for LK

For those who are not familiar with Christianity or literary themes - the ease with which the devil tempted Eve was that he is the master of lies - telling them so well that they are believable - because they play on our weaknesses.


I have a secret. I used to be quite proud of this story but now sort of see it in a different light. You will understand the picture and my altered view on this event at the end.

Its especially for LK who I hope will see the humour in it.

I worked as a volunteer for a great number of hours. I absolutely loved the job - it was working with helping people finding info they needed. I was out of high school and looking for work having determined that my first career choice was not going to work out.

The head of the volunteers was a real nutcase. She was very needy and manipulated people. I didn't really understand it at the time but now I see her busy ways and continual drama was to compensate for something else missing in her life.

After over a year of solid volunteer work I noticed that volunteers would suddenly leave. People who had volunteered or a long time would suddenly quit. One afternoon I was asked to work and one of the older workers was offended that I was there - she didn't feel that she needed the help. She told me very clearly that if the boss did not call her back by the end of the week she would not come back.

Well the boss didn't call back. I felt a sense of urgency but she just kept brushing it off. She brushed the volunteer off as well. Then something happened where it was accidentally divulged to me that a lot of the volunteers were there to complete their community service hours. I suddenly realised that the long term volunteer volunteers didn't seem to last. At one point another leader in the service agency pointed out that we would not be so short of volunteers if my boss could keep them longer. She was infuriated and I commiserated with her not totally getting it.

Then one day it happened to me. I was booked to do something and she totally ignored my request for a bathroom break and made it sound that I was unreasonable when I asked why I was not relieved (literally). Another time she accused me of getting too close to my male friend who I worked with and insisted on splitting us onto different shifts. He couldn't say anything because he was not exactly there by choice.

Another volunteer left. I really liked her but I was warned that she had been a problem.

I loved working there and my fiance in one of the few times he has ever told me his opinion told me to leave. In the end she accused me of telling someone that one of the workers was there on community service. Being employed at a highly sensitive government agency I was really offended and worried by her accusation. I had to quit.

I mulled this over in my head. How could I quit and keep my integrity? She would likely say that I had to leave. She would hint that I had done something "horrible". That it was good for everyone that I had left. It just really bothered me - I couldn't stand people thinking the worse of me and her getting away with it.

I hit upon the perfect plan. I went to my next shift walked over to her and handed her my key to the office and said very slowly with great annunciation.


"Here is your f'***ing key, take it and shove it up your a**" And then I ran like heck to the car parked outside before she could call security.

This was the most brilliant plan. My boss told anyone who would listen about what I had done to her. My good friend who still worked there was banned from speaking to me! She also told him to tell me that I would never volunteer in the City of North York ever again. Which was funny because he pointed out he could hardly tell me since he wasn't allowed to speak to me! Apparently a week later she was still telling everyone who would listen what I had done. She could not believe it. Well...neither could they. I purposefully hid myself for a bit so I wouldn't run into anyone. So when my friend told me how she was telling this huge lie about me and how no one believed her I had a good laugh. So did he when I told him I had actually done it! No one thought that I was capable of being so rude and offensive. The little old ladies who volunteered could not imagine such a thing - I am just so sweet and quiet.

Apparently things didn't quiet down for months. And no one ever believed any of the stories made up about how I was a lousy volunteer because the one story she told that was absolutely true was so outrageous they thought she made it up.

That was about 21 years ago. I don't tell that story much anymore because it really shows a conniving mean spirit. I still feel really uncomfortable when my integrity comes into question - I am open and willing to take responsibility for my faults but I just can't stand being accused of something I haven't done.


There you go LK - a story that I'm only telling because you need some entertainment!