"The call is coming from inside the house..."

Remember the story about the babysitter getting the scary phonecalls?  The police trace it and warn "the call is coming from inside the house".  There are certain themes that come up in scary movies - strange thumping noises coming from other rooms, the power cutting in and out, the flash of lightening lighting up "something" in front of the picture window.  In the old days every movie had a point where you would sit in your seat begging the characters to not look out the window, don't open that door, for heaven's sakes let the phone ring.

I had that real life adventure last weekend.  We were camping in a campground that is really for urbanites - over 900 spots, a store, snack bar and comfort stations on site.  We chose a site a bit up the road from the comfort station and at 4 a.m. I just had to make the  trip.  Cliff went along and we quietly walked the dirt road past all the tents in the eerie dark.  Its rather unreal - all of these people sleeping in tents amongst strangers.

We got back to the tent and settled in.  I'm not sure if I actually fell asleep or was just dozing off when I heard steps right outside the tent.  At first I was a bit curious - I quickly realized it couldn't be a bear - its just not that kind of campground.  As I am thinking about this I wonder if Cliff hears it too.  I end up poking him in the chest and he grabs my hand.  I hold my breath as I listen imagining a raccoon.  Except...I definitely now hear footsteps and they stop right at the door of the tent.  I'm a visual person so I imagine the person crouching at the tent and I'm trying to figure out what's next.  Will they try to quietly open the tent?  Are they standing with a knife?  I hear the footsteps start again and they seem to be moving away.

When its safe, I whispher to Cliff and he confirms he heard it and we discuss which way the steps went.  Since they were last heard on my side he suggestst I OPEN THE TENT WINDOW AND PEER OUT.   As I am grabbing the zipper I'm thinking this is crazy - this is the point where everyone says "DON'T UNZIP THAT WINDOW".  I don't know why but I end up doing it scared of what I might see - as it was there was nothing to see.

Cliff does not have these neurotic thoughts - he doesn't imagine someone waiting for me to unzip the window staring in at me.  He settles back down.  I sleep with one ear cocked...

We never did figure out what happened.  It could have beens someone also coming back from the comfort station who ended up at the wrong tent...but ....

I have never recovered from Poltergeist.  The crazy clown doll is missing from the chair, kid begins to look under the bed to see if it is there and BOOM - the clown comes at him from behind!

Entertaining the Pastor

I had a parishoner come by and offer to take me to Timmies.  Now I had done a challenging sermon where I gave everyone a piece of paper with decisions that come out of a tough parable with the offer to meet with me at Timmies to chat about faith and questions and what not.

Not being experienced in drawing people out I floundered a bit but determined that other than one specific discussion there really wasn't anything that created this visit - until she mentioned that she had been to the elders and they suggested she visit me.  I don't get the impression it was for her benefit but for mine!!  There seems to be a concern that I'm alone and because of a medical issue the head elder and his wife have been busy and also it is haying season.  I've never thought of a pastor as particularly requiring care so its nice but so unneeded.  Especially when I had put all of my clothes on the line so had to to go Timmies in my track pants and a light sweater - its all I had left that wasn't wet!

I saw a bear!

I saw a bear on the road back from Timmins.  I didn't get close enough to investigate.  There was a truck on other side of the road pulled over and I glanced over to see if they were okay and I saw a little bear just coming out of the ditch next to the truck.  At first I thought maybe he was hit but I think maybe he was just wandering.  I don't know much about bears - I know he was not a cub but maybe a year old?  I wanted to turn around and go look but I figured its not good to disturb them and all kinds of traffic pulling over probably desensitizes them to people and cars.  Besides I wasn't too thrilled about him have stretch up against my little Aveo.  I probably have the tiniest car in town - there are a few back roads that I wouldn't want to tackle after a big rain!

The Groups in Town

After hearing someone in Tim's mentioned "the farmers" with a bit of a scowl in his voice I realized that there are more groups here then I first imagined.

The three obvious ones:  First Nations, French, English.  The French go to French school so you won't likely run into them because of course so many things we do are related to school.  But even there, there is a break out of French Roman Catholic and French.  The Roman Catholic also have their own school.  First Nations seem to exist on their own in some unclear way.  I have a feeling its a larger symptom of Canada.  They are hear but I really don't know much about them and I certainly can see a difference in culture that makes others irritable.

But now I have to add the farmers.  Of course they know each other through their agricultural connections.  But then there are two that I know of  The Christian Farmers Association and the mainstream Ontario Farmers Association.   I didn't realize how different the farmers are until I noticed that our church holds its nursing home service at 2:30 when it is our turn while the rest of the churches hold it I think at 6:00.  We can't hold it at six because of milking.  So again there is something that separates our church from the other non-farmer led churches.  I don't think other churches know why we insist on holding it so early and the last time we went the nursing home didn' know we were coming.  I wonder if people think we are being difficult by marching to our own tune!

Its a wonder any of us talk to each other at all! 

Life in the really slow lane.

Each day I think "what will I do today?"   I can go to the library to study or do it at home. Or go to the lake for a swim.  Or grab a freshly baked doughnut at the local bakery.  Gee, I can even do it all!

Went swimming the other day in our lake.  I couldn't stand the heat one more minute and putting all self consciousness aside decided it was time to take advantage of the opportunity.  The lake was a bit cold but delicious.  I just paddled around for about half an hour and I ended up feeling cooled off for a few hours.  Now I know why people say "Go soak your head!".

Really interesting at the beach.  Lots of teens.  A few parents with toddlers and a few adults.  I'm not sure where the 20 something set is - I don't think there are any.  If there are they are never where I am.  Tim Horton's seems to be the place for the over 50 crowd.  The local brunch place seems to attract the 30 - 40 group.  How you get all of these people into one event beats me!

Polar Bear Rocks!

I found a local radio station.  Very local.  The music is a bit eclectic - old time country, new country, light rock.  I laughed all morning at the song they played - look at the lyrics:

Constellations – Felicia Lyrics


With her cigarette lips and soldier tits
yeah, they stand at attention with her hands on her hips…
shes got a crocodile smile and switchblade style
yeah, she’ll stab you in the back with her fingernail file..
stays cool as you come so uncomfortably numb
as you drop to the floor with the flick of her tongue..
shes got her hand on the wheel and one on the stick
yeah she’ll put you in gear with the twitch of her neck…
oh Felicia babe i think i really really need ya
So sexy when you’re working on your knees girl......

Now it is actually a very catchy tune - but I'm not convinced that the person who picked it intended it for the morning show.  Especially since the other tunes were early country - we're talking low production values.  This tune was followed by a very old version, probably original of  "Please Release Me, Let Me Go"   I later saw the irony in that and laughed harder.   I believe in  "Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves." 
 
The other song was "Put My Little Shoes Away" by Hank Snow - lovely tune about a dying child.  I didn't even stay to drink my coffee in Tim Hortons - grabbed my coffee and went down to the lake to listen.  I also love the local advertising.  Hey you can listen to it online:  http://www.cpbrfm.com/
 

Glories of Clotheslines!

First off, let me say that 6.99 for a bag of clothespins is ridiculous!  I was looking for clothespins because they have just replaced the washing machine at the parsonage and I am thrilled because now I can wash my clothes at home and hang them to dry.  I haven't used a clothesline for probably 25 years - and then only when my Mom was doing the wash.

I have always but my private wear with the assumption that only my husband would see it - not that there is anything spicy to see - but rather that odd colours, polka dots and stripes that cheer me up look a little clownish.  I figure ER staff have seen it all so didn't worry about that possibility.  Its a funny contrast - blue and black and grey clothes with these bright undies flapping in the breeze!

Perils of a Vanity Plate

I’m actually having to adjust my driving here. When I get to a stop sign I feel like I need to go right NOW! But others slowly pull away from the stop. And when I’m waiting to turn into traffic I get that nervous feeling that someone is going to honk and try to push me through the intersection – yet others wait until the its perfectly clear before they turn. So I have to slow it down. Its actually a bit harder to drive here – there are four way stops everywhere and lots of “busy” streets. I have gotten used to traffic lights in the city that tell me when its my turn – you don’t actually have to do a lot of concentrating. Here there are tons of kids on bikes, pedestrians and stop sign after stop sign. Its also embarrassing that I am still getting lost. There are a few places I have gone where I’m sure no one would ever drive – its just a sign that you don’t know what the heck you are doing. Soon enough people will recognize the plate and have me labeled as some control freak driver with lousy direction.

Interestingly I have noticed that some drivers wait for the other cars to stop at a four way intersection rather than proceeding. I got in trouble for this in Toronto – the instructor couldn’t understand why I was waiting for the other car to stop when I clearly had the right of way – I guess it’s a country thing because I’m sure we did that in Nova Scotia too!

Country Standards Or....

I saw something today I didn’t think I would ever see again. Not since my youth. A young girl, very pregnant smoking a cigarette. I’m usually not a health fanatic but I couldn’t stop thinking about what that must be doing to the baby. I would be too embarrassed to do it at the library entrance – geez, at least go sneak off and have it out of sight for my own conscience!

Country Standards Or....

I saw something today I didn’t think I would ever see again. Not since my youth. A young girl, very pregnant smoking a cigarette. I’m usually not a health fanatic but I couldn’t stop thinking about what that must be doing to the baby. I would be too embarrassed to do it at the library entrance – geez, at least go sneak off and have it out of sight for my own conscience!

Dark Days in Monkey City

Dark Days in Monkey City




Yup, I lost a husband but gained Bell TV. I can now see crap in two official languages and news from 4 cities. If that doesn’t satisfy I can watch shows with names like “Dark Days in Monkey City”. I was curious enough to look at it. The narrator has a bit of a Brit accent and adds excitement to the show by exaggerating the narrating. Look Out – There’s a Python!!! Dark Days indeed.



I didn’t have the heart to watch “I Didn’t Even Know I was Pregnant”.

Neighbourhood

Neighbourhood




Its weird how sensitive I am to surroundings. I felt a bit uncomfortable here the first few days because the neighbourhood is such a mixture of house styles and economics. I’m used to the military bases where there are basic housing types and they are clustered together. Golden Row for instance was the name of one of the housing areas for senior officers on one of the bases I was on. On another base I remember the housing for Majors and up had huge kitchens. It was assumed you would need them for entertaining.



In the city most areas are homogeneous. Areas are rich or poor, old or new. You get a feel for an area – perhaps in a stereotypical way. Here there is a gorgeous house with a new front porch next to an old house that seems to be on its last legs. Yet the town is laid our in N-S, E-W with each lot the same side. There are a few buildings which are obviously public housing (why can’t we put a bit more money into them so they don’t scream out that people need help?).



The manse (parsonage) tells a story too. The garage has seen better days and the neat stone work on the front is coming out in places. But the windows are new and there is a semi garden planted – perennials. It says the essentials are there but there is not enough money or care to put into the niceties.



I love the picture window – there are 3 lots on the two streets across from me that are empty. I can see people coming and going to the store and other places. Its actually quite a busy place. I’m getting to be a snoop!

Small Town Secrets

Everyone wants to know if I am visiting the star attraction when I get to my country home. The polar bears. Everyone has heard about the great polar bears and the exhibit in which you can swim with the polar bears!

I knew that I would have no problems adjusting my natural sense of humour for my roommate when we discussed this local attraction.

As she said: "If you want to go visit an old polar bear with no teeth its great. He's so old they have to prop his mouth open and use a pole to shove the watermelon in".

I have no idea if anyone else in town is selling out this secret. The town is filled with little polar bear souvenirs - statues, t-shirts erasers. She is also from away so perhaps that is why she feel free to share the secret of the money making decrepit polar bear.

I have also been warned that every town in the area claims Tim Horton as their son. Thankfully I was not too excited about the link so I'm not disappointed.

In 8 weeks time I expect I will know many secrets that can't be repeated here! I just hope that a few of them are as funny as the polar bear!

New Preacher in Town

Phew, its been a whirlwind. A few weeks ago someone was kind enough to forward an email to me of a church looking for a student pastor for the summer in my denomination. An email to a relative, a phone call from the elder's wife, and a quick 9 hour trip to preach a sermon and suddenly I'm the student pastor for at least 7 weeks. They would love me to stay longer - I'm just not sure I can do more than that without going crazy.

June 13th is my first sermon of the summer. I have a ton to do - I need to find some commentaries I can borrow to fill out the few that I have, figure out what other books/resources I should take and get some stuff in Toronto cleaned up before I go.

So far preaching and leading worship seems like the top duty - I have offered to do pastoral care and to network with other churches and to leave the door open for anything that they would want done that I can do in the summer.

Its a huge change - sharing a home with another person (I've never had a roommate), living in a fishbowl and leading a church. Not to mention that I may need to rely on the library and the local arena for my internet - the arena has wireless capability. The internet will be essential for C and I to keep in contact - I think we have only ever been apart for a few weeks.

I already have plans in the works to visit a farm one of the parishioners owns. I've seen farms and I've smelled farms but never actually been on one.

So I guess there will be lots to blog about.