Good Friday - two services

We went to two services. One at our new church and another at our old church to keep up with our friends.

The first service was a bit annoying because they moved the time forward a full hour and a half. If you weren't there the day they announced it you wouldn't likely know. One of the worship singers didn't know so showed up an hour late.

The service itself was wonderful - there was lots of time for reflection and contemplation and it moved very slowly. Some of the elements like announcements and passing the peace (which normally takes 10 minutes as we all greet every person and chat) were removed so we could be quiet. Some parts were annoying - like the Powerpoint which was out of order again with some lyrics missing. There is a beautiful song with one lyric "Jesus remember me when you come into your kingdom". It reflects the robber on the cross that says this at the crucifixion. It is an incredible statement of faith and the answer from Christ is that they will both be in paradise before the day ends. It is one of the shortest confessions of sin with an understood response. Its sung over and over again the, rising and falling. But the person leading missed the lyric and sang "Jesus remember me when I come into your kingdom" Because it wasn't on the Powerpoint almost all people sang it that way. Its a small thing but these things bother me - I'm picky that way. Now if we were a church that did tons of other things in addition to worship I would be less picky. But worship is the key thing that we spend our time on.

Now to contrast the afternoon service was technically excellent. There was a violinist and they brought in a solo vocalist. We knew that the church's worship is a little higher brow then we like but we thought we were prepared for it. There were two beautiful songs that are based on black spirituals. You can imagine them being sung in the fields. One of them sings about how Christ never said a word against his accusers while being crucified. I can imagine the context of singing this as a slave with no voice - no authority over their own lives. Its a strong image. It was a corporate song - you sang it as a group. But when you take the song and have a soloist perform it it becomes another experience. By the time we had been there an hour it felt like a performance. C admitted that 20 minutes in he was finished. It bothers me because I like to believe that I can worship anywhere in any way. There were moments for me when I connected but I just don't get anything out of watching someone sing. It made me wonder how many people are totally disconnected and bored when I preach (or when anyone preaches for that matter). How do I learn how to worship in any situation?

After all is said and done I found that I had connected with the morning service so well - despite the hiccups. And I also remember my friends who have little choice in where they worship or the style they see. We are spoiled that we can be so picky!

Christ is Dead!

A rather shocking title don't you think. In some traditions Christians on Easter Sunday will greet each other with "Christ is risen!!" with the response "He has risen indeed!". It makes sense that the first thing you would say to another is this amazing fact - how could anything else come into your mind?

But on Good Friday we recognize Christ's death but we don't shout about it. But maybe we should. If Christ didn't die then he didn't arise - and if he didn't rise from the dead then we are in a lot of hot water. God would be pretty angry with us for following Jesus if in fact he wasn't the Messiah. And considering what we have done in Christ's name - which is shameful enough - we would truly be cursed.

I couldn't stand it when people on the bus or the subway would sit next to me and say "Jesus loves you". I wonder how I would have felt if people on the Saturday after Good Friday sat down and said "Christ is dead" with a big grin on their face. That's the thing. I would be just as uncomfortable with that statement! Its not that non-Christians have a problem with "Jesus loves you" so much as they have a problem with anyone coming and pushing their viewpoint on them while travelling somewhere. It's like "Do you have life insurance?", "Abortion kills" or "Do you have the time?". The last one is directed at Torontonians - the first reaction is wide eyed fear until they hear that all they are being asked to do is look at their watch!

Which reminds me. After moving here my brother and I were walking with my father down Yonge Street near Dundas. This women walks out of a doorway and asks by brother for the time. He stops to answer and my father grabs him and says "He's only fifteen!". He was laughing as he told us that she didn't want the time but his time! I'm still not convinced she was a hooker. My brother is good looking but he didn't have the look of having a dime!

Religion vs Jesus

I love this bumpersticker that says: "I love Jesus, its just his fanclub I can't stand".

A friend sent me a link to a pastor who wrote about the difference between religion and following Christ. I agreed with a lot of what the pastor had to say and have often said the same things. What really struck me were the comments he received back. People who were grateful that he had the courage to speak up. People who had been so well versed in what it meant to be a good church member that they missed the bigger point. I almost cried when I read these - I'm not an emotional person except when it comes to those who are in church but just haven't gotten the big picture yet. What really amazed me was that the way I see things seems to be unique - people seem genuinely moved by what this pastor wrote and yet I would hope that there are people in every church who "get" the big picture and recognize that the human church is a place of broken people.

I used to think that it was a curse that I was not raised in a church going family. They seemed to understand God and spirituality and everything to me seemed to be a big question. Nothing made sense of God. He sends a son to die like a criminal at our hands and somehow this solves everything? What on earth does this even mean? People told me you need to be a Christian to understand and I was angry that I had this block - that God for whatever reason refused to let me understand this thing that everyone said was so easy. I guess this journey brought me to a place of quiet understanding. I didn't go the regular route and now I can see things differently

So now I have a love for these people - especially the ones that argue about the colour of the carpet for the sanctuary. Because they are so in need of Christ's vision of church. Which starts with them - that they are loved and that the power to choose the colour of the carpet is selling what God has for them short.

Some people run from these churches. I run towards them. The trick is knowing when I am doing so with the love of Christ or when I am doing so for the rush of small changes when people's perceptions change in tiny ways to see the bigger picture. I'm not sure if this is a good desire or not. It certainly is limited in its great moments - its more that of a prophet who the weak look to for guidance while the powerful disdain. Its not comfortable and at times I have not wanted this "gift". It's a role where I need accountability, a life of prayer and really strong self identity. I'm not there yet!

Pancake Tuesday

Today is Shrove Tuesday and I'm going to get some pancakes at Golden Griddle. 3.99 on Tuesdays - the cheapest church one is around 5 dollars. Mind you that's for the full deal. But today I don't feel like being around people I know - I'm tired of talking about C's lack of work and job prospects. Its depressing - as soon as they hear he has been terminated the interviewer is never heard from again.

So my brother and husband will scarf them down with strangers. I wonder if in today's world it will be busier? How many people actually bother with Pancake Day. I remember doing this in school - I obviously am showing my age!

how we can be more visible outside our building

This is the question I am asked to grapple with in my job. Our building is huge. Picture a huge stone church with 3 sets of double front doors. Picture a huge rectangle. How can we be more visible? The picture above is Lincoln Church - ours is bigger!

I think the question is how can what we do in the church be more obvious to those outside. But even this doesn't make sense - we would make one hell of an ugly hotel and a rather monolithic funeral home. Perhaps a restaurant - with stained glass windows. I have mistaken some small town funeral homes for restaurants - never to the point of walking in I hasten to add.

I'm not trying to be bitchy but its frustrating to be asked to "advertise" for a building. It's like asking the White House to let people know its there. People know its there - they may or may not care and they may or may not know what goes on inside - and they may or may not want to come in once or ever.

What Page are We On?

One of the greatest distractions for a newcomer to a church is in trying to figure out just what is going on during the service. Many of my church services were in the Roman Catholic tradition which requires patience because until you have been to a number there is no way of knowing what you are supposed to be saying.

They give you a little book to follow but I give up trying to figure out the right response.

Going to church in the CRC was interesting as it was mostly laid out for you in the liturgy. The only fumbling comes from finding the hymn in the hymn book and looking to see if you sit or stand.

Now going to a prestigious Presbyterian church I figured it might be a bit more difficult but it isn't. The crowd is younger so Powerpoint is used for all of the song lyrics - we don't pick up a hymnal at all. Most people don't even use the bulletin. And there is little ceremony to what is going on.

So imagine my surprise when visiting a nearby Presbyterian church for a Christmas service to find that I was lost, confused and frustrated! I've preached, served communion, presided over communion, led readings, sung...all of the churchy things - but this service completely threw me.

There was a book for hymns, a book for responsive psalms and a liturgy that was pages long with mysterious bits written in along the margin for communion. I still don't know what the bits of carols in the margins were for. As we went to respond from the psalm book I quickly realized what was happening and found it - poor C (who is very familiar with Catholic services) could not figure out how people knew how to respond. The language was very "stained glass" - maybe it was poetic and touching - but I'm not a huggy kind of person so it just sounded odd to me. I leaned in and told C it was the most Roman Catholic service I had ever been too!

Then it was onto communion. We lined up for it. They use communion wafers. You take it with you back to your seat which makes me wonder why we don't just hand it out down the pews. But to get back to my seat (and to get into line for the communion) I had to go out the door at the back aisle and through another one a few aisles over - because the shape of the church means you either do that or shuffle past everyone seated who is not going up. So on my way back to my pew with my juice and wafer I have to leave the Sanctuary and go down the hall. This is the stuff that bothers me. Spending all that time on "stained glass talk", a hired tenor, candlelight carols but a communion that has lost the community feel as I leave the sanctuary and then reenter it carrying my meal with me. The whole point of communion is the community - its not some fast food drive through.

I didn't go for a show, I went to worship and take a memorial meal with a community of
believers. I generally don't like to complain about worship experiences because it is not about me and what I like but about God. It is hard to worship God when trying to navigate the culture of a church - something we should all make much more accessible during Christmas.

Organists - for LK

“The organ is the enemy of worship, as most Christians know. Scripture says, ‘Be still and know that I am God.’ This is not the organist’s philosophy. Organists despise stillness. They’re sitting there with the organ equivalent of a 300 hp Ferrari and they want to put the pedal to the metal and make that baby fly.”

For Christmas I bought myself "Life Among the Lutherans" by Garrison Keillor. The quote comes from this book and nearly had me peeing my pants. It was twice as funny because I hung onto the book until after Christmas Day waiting to read it though it arrived in November. On Christmas Eve we went to a local Presbyterian church with a fine organist. I know nothing about what it should sound like but could tell from the ego and fancy footwork that this was supposed to be a treat.

They tenor they hired came and stood next to the organist and watched him at work for the Postlude. Now, I'm not musical but I have an idea of how to write a service and I am dying of curiosity of what that last musical number was. We had just finished with singing by candlelight and I expected a triumphant sort of processional. Whatever it was - I have to say it was frightening. Truly. It had the horror of Good Friday but without the respectful funereal style. I thought maybe it was me. But C and I discussed it and both had the same reaction - "What on earth was that!?" Sounded like the coming of Hell. I took the program home but alas it does not note what was the tune.

So when I read the lament of Cindy who is trying to sing along with the visiting organist I howled with laughter:

"But after the offertory Cindy lost her cool. He had decided that "What a Friend We Have in Jesus" was simply something he could not be personally associated with, a popular hymn, a hymn that these peasants knew practically by heart. No, he waved off the choir and instead played the offertory, some medieval-sounding thing with trumpets and sackbuts in it and dukes and the Marquis de Sade and armor clanking...."

I read this aloud to C a few days after Christmas Eve - we both agreed that this was a great description of whatever the piece was that was played - Marquis de Sade and all.

Garrison Keillor's public work is quite funny. His observations of Lutherans seem dead on for Ontarion CRC'ers. It must be a cultural thing more than a theological. Now that we are without cable C and I listen to his monologue through iTunes on from the Prairie Home Companion. I wish I had his talent!

I miss LK's approach to music. We sang There is a Redeemer yesterday in class but the pianist played all the verses. LK used to leave one verse silent and it was beautiful. I can see how people become attached to "the right way" of doing things!

Fast Food Communion

If there is one thing I love about the RC denomination its the chance to dress up in girly girl clothes for first communion. Especially the veils. Other than your wedding day there is no other chance to wear a veil (except for those nifty widow veils over your eyes but that's not quite an event where I would probably remember to buy one).

I was really impressed with as W. had been getting communion every morning while in Rehab. It seemed like such an effort to give communion everyday to so many people.





We were sitting in the cafe in the lobby when the priest was passing by and saw W. He started with the pleasantries which appeared to be that the was just quickly idling to say "goodbye" when in one full movement he went from "So you are going home" to crossing himself ".... Body of Christ" the communion wafer comes out of nowhere and before I even realise what is happening he is gone after wishing her a well.





Huh? For a denomination that believes in the wafer actually changing to the body of Christ it seems a little like communion at McDonalds. I had been expecting a moment of them seated together with a word of prayer at least. Its also funny to me that because we are not patients we are not offered communion. Separating the sheep from the goats I suppose. C. said maybe we didn't look Roman Catholic enough. I think the stunned look on my face gave me away - its funny because though C. grew up Roman Catholic (and attended a boys RC school) I often know more about the tradition then he does. Based on how much he seemed to learn about his own religion in a RC school I suggest that all parents teach their children sex ed. Don't assume that they remember anything that the teacher presented!

World Day of Prayer

I was supposed to do a sermonette at the World Day of Prayer. I had one written but looking at the people who came and the content of my topic I had to change it quickly. There wasn't anyone from my generation there - maybe a few. They were mostly from the generation that has always gone to church and are now retired and still volunteer. I had written it with a more wider age range in mind to include those who work with children and live outside of the church community, those that may not be very well connected with their neighbours due to their busy lives.

I panicked as we went through service thinking about how I could tweak my words to make them more relevant - less instructional and more reflecting on how church and community has changed. Then I was saved.

The organizer insisted on introducing me so I wrote an very short introduction for her. Rather than call it "seminary" she called it "cemetery" (if you can never remember if its "e
s" or "a's" in "cemetery" just remember we all go "eee" as we walk past). I didn't notice as I was still ruminating on whether I could wing a whole new talk - the program listed it as a sermon or reflection so I had a bit of room to move. Well I heard people say "cemetery"? But it got worse - she mentioned that since I'm a student they are my guinea pigs. She added "happy little guinea pigs" I guess to make it sound not so bad. I was off the hook! With that lead up, who expected anything?

So I was able to do a "reflection" which sadly meant that in the confusion I missed one of the theological points I wanted to address but what can you do.

The other moment was when I went to use the bible at the lectern. I had carefully asked which version they use. Different Bible versions have different translations so if I use a word from the reading in my sermon to expound on an idea but their translation is different it makes no sense. Well they use the New English Bible which is not really considered the best. Actually, I couldn't find it anywhere on the Net and I ended up having to go to Tyndale to get the actual reading (then found out that my first bible I ever got was NEB and sitting on my bookshelf!).

Anyhow, when I arrive, I again check that the Bible is in place and ready to go. Well, no. The Bible that is in place an ready to go is not NEB and translates slightly differently. But the Bible's in the pews are NEB and some of the people really like to follow along. Very confusing and distracting to say the least. I will now never come with my sermon ready without the translation typed at the top so I have it regardless of what Bible they have at the front. I like to read from the Bible at the lectern because visually it is understood that these are not my words but the words of the Church. Its a small thing but I'm a visual person.

Lessons learned! In the end people seemed to appreciate it. One of the youngest said it gave him a lot to think about which had been my original intent. It wasn't my best but my best for the circumstances and I was pleased that people referred to it as a "talk" and "reflection" so they took it for what it was!

WDOP

World Day of Prayer is a day set aside by churches all over the world to come together to learn about a country and the issues that the vulnerable in that country face. The women of the country chosen write the service that all churches holding this event will use and it includes short statements representing the hardships and prayers of those people.

Each area has a host church which gathers together other churches to join in planning this event. There is a leaders resource book which tells about the country, suggestions for a festival day to teach others about the country and even recipes to make from that country.

Sadly, this is one of the biggest wastes of my time so far this year (hey, we are only in January). I went to our local meeting where the information was handed out and upon announcing the country that is being represented we immediately went straight to the service details - and decided who would do which of the speaking parts. That being settled we finished our cups of tea and cookies, picked our next meeting date and went home.

No prayer. No discussion about the country (we can read that at home I guess), no discussion about how to advertise this (why bother, our churches already know about it) and certainly nothing as labourious as planning to serve a few dishes from the recipes.

This is one example of how church becomes irrelevant. The task at hand is far more important then the reason for it. The women who come together for this event have done it for years and they take pride in continuing to take part though the younger people don't seem interested. They are doing what they have always done and getting the job done is the goal. Even within the team there is a lack of nurture - we stated our names and which church we are from and that was the extent of actually being in fellowship.

There was a lament last year that younger people don't seem to be interested. By younger we are talking about someone under 40 - I was the youngest there. I'm a bit stuck. I would encourage others to join in this event but honestly I don't want to set the bar so low. The amount of time we are puttng into this event as a group effort is less then when I plan a service for worship on a Sunday.

But on the other hand, this is a tradition that has meaning to the women who come out. They remember the old days where there work was vital to the community - the bake sales to raise money were well attended, funding for overseas missions often came from their efforts. That the world has changed isn't on their radar except to see that not as many people go to church. I don't think that it would occur to them that this is our responsibility to correct.

So I sat in this church, which put effort into fixing up their lounge - I felt like I was sitting in some grandmothers living room, nodding politely but feeling that if I could get out of doing this I would. I'm going to plant a seed at the next meeting and ask if this is a community event.

I need Jesus....

The image above is taken from icanhascheezburger.com which is a whole whack of pictures of cats with funny slogans. Yes, evangelists sometimes come off as crazy as a cat talking about Ceiling Cat!

The other day I came out to my car and there was a little yellow sticky note attached to my door that says "You need Jesus". This disturbed me, because frankly I wondered what I had done to compel someone to tell me this. Did I cut someone off in traffic, did I bring too many items into the 1-8 cashier? What exactly had I done to some stranger that they felt the need to tell me this.

I surreptiously looked around and was relieved to see that apparently everyone in the parking lot needs Jesus.

What a waste of time. Slapping yellow stickies everywhere with the offensive "You" rather than "We" or "Everybody". I think someone needs a hobby!

There's No Life Like It

Up and rising star, son of a local merchant in a small town I lived in joined the military. As a padre (chaplain).

Shock and disbelief - not only that he joined in an ecclesiastical role but that he joined the military.

Now, I'm sure there are many from my childhood days and my career years that have many disparaging comments to make about my own turn to faith and calling.

But rumour had it that the military paid better than the local church. Which sounds so much like something this person I knew years ago would say - very pragmatic. Well, I doubted that statement but have been proved quite wrong.

Upon completion of basic training a padre is given the rank of Captain and is thus an officer. Salary - starts at 62,000 a year. They may pay for housing though if they do it would be pretty low - base housing is cheap (it used to be free).

Now you work your butt off for the money - talk about fishbowl existence. Ministry in any church means your life is on display for everyone - multiply that by about 10 if you serve on a military base. I was very neurotic moving to Toronto because I was ingrained to understand that anything I did was a reflection on my father's rank and position. I was never directly told this, I just knew this. Women stayed home and cooked and cleaned and hung out in their own station in life - officer's wives hung out with officer's wives. It was fairly easy to do this as you lived in housing on base which was segregated by rank. We lived in Captain's quarters forever and when my father was promoted to Major we were excited that we were going to move to Golden Row - they have much bigger kitchens and I think a fireplace if I remember correctly. Truthfully my fascination was a boy that I had a long standing crush on lived on that street. Along with a lot of funny guys in my class.

We didn't move - wasn't worth the bother my father said and he wasn't the type to care about these things.

So, if I can lose 100 pounds, get my degree and get signed off I can apply. The beauty is that there is so much to do and you get a ton of training in suicide prevention, crisis situations, interpersonal relations...and as a Protestant you work with a team of different denominations.

Ain't gonna happen. But how interesting if it had!

I thought this was very interesting from their web site:
Being a chapel-life coordinator doesn't mean being all things to all people. And contrary to what some members of the community may want, it doesn't even mean always being present. The most significant role of the chapel-life coordinator is to empower the community of faith to do the ministry to which they were called. This means working with the community to assist them as they discern their gifts and look for ways that they can use them. This also creates a network that the chapel-life coordinator can utilize to assist in the ministry within the faith community. This means that instead of trying to function as visual artist, Sunday school superintendent, program scheduler, or any other list of functions, the chapel-life coordinator knows that there are qualified individuals who are willing to assist. This only works when it is abundantly clear that we all share in ministry; the chaplains and the community of faith. When this occurs, it is possible for everyone to be enriched and nourished within the faith community. It is possible for everyone to make the best use of his or her gifts for the ministry of God.

Sermon Response: I Want to Die!

Yes, the response to the sermon in today's worship at the local nursing home was "I want to die!". One resident shouted back "Not here please!". I was sure it was one of our church goers who said it so I was relieved when C assured me it was another resident.

Now either the resident was fed up with the worship or really taken on the theme that ultimately our troubles cease and we find peace with Jesus. I'll have to tone it down next time.

The nursing home worker took him away from the service. We were getting ready to sing a song and I was going to address his concern directly (no I don't mean I was going to kill him, I was going to see if we could pray for him), I figure heckling is part of the deal.....

Apology to Praise Teams - Most of 'Em

Yeah, a big shout out to LK who has taught me the true meaning of a praise team. In an earlier post I said we should get rid of the praise team and stick 'em in the pews with everyone else.

Ah, but see I was mistaken on the purpose of a praise team - I thought they were performers like you see on TV. You know they glitz up the joint. They are in fact more like conductors giving you cues if you need help following along with the songs and such. Hopefully they also cue the right emotion too - if you are singing a song of joy it would be nice if they looked joyful.

Now in my defence I will state I have been at churches where if the praise team was supposed to be guiding my efforts to worship then I was totally missing the point. It seemed more like a performance than conducting and simple things like making eye contact with the parishioners would help. So, like anything there is good and bad approaches.

I'm glad I'm still awkward at the church thing - it keeps me on my toes.

Help - The Children's Message

While the pastor is away for 4 Sundays I may be called upon to do the Children's Message. For the uninitiated this is when the children of the congregation are called up and the pastor gives them something to think about - it should be interesting, something that all ages can relate to, memorable and connected with the theme and message of the service.

I can preach a 20 minute sermon but the 5 minute time with the children kills me. It takes me a week to come up with the idea and prop. Some of the children require guidance in listening. Some continually point their bum up in the air towards the congregation during the message. Some interupt continually with non related info mumbled so that I can't tell if the child is communicating their love of video games, that they are hungry or that the balcony is on fire. And until I can convince the Pastor that I now have this down and am comfortable with it he is going to give me lots of opportunities to do it. Its going to be a long month!

I'll trade you a wise man for a Joseph....

Sometimes things strike me as funny and I can't quite say why. The morning was bizarre to start with. I had an appointment with this medical guru - I had to wait 5 months just to get in to see him. He practices in this big clinic in Burlington that is Christian based and is located in the Crossroads Centre. The Crossroads Centre became the new location for 100 Huntley Street years ago and now houses CTS (that Christian station you keep flipping past).

In a million years I never would have thought I would be in the building that does Christian broadcasting.

So, I was already a little out of my zone when I see that the Blessings store has a nativity set for sale. There is a note on the box - "Joseph is missing, but there are 4 wise men." I know that one day this will make a good sermon illustration. Any old wise man can fill in for poor Joseph. Of course you know that somewhere is a nativity with two Josephs and two wise men. If Mary was missing would we stick in some replacement? Perhaps cover up a sheep with a blue scarf?

Now for my rant...I can't stand nativity scenes. We always had one when I was a kid - and I admit something happened to Joseph and one of the wise men had to fill in. But about 10 years ago I was watching TV early Sunday morning and a very smart man was preaching about the the fallacy of having wise men peering down at baby Jesus when they actually did not reach him for a few years. Every year NYGH puts up the nativity scene. It's suffocating to look at. The last year I worked there they decided to keep the nativity safe by putting plexiglass over the front of the manger. This has forced tight quarters for everyone. I'm a visual person so the lack of air holes really bugged me. It was great having a desk by the window but you can see I was often distracted by the goings on outside!