Friday's Feast - Friday 13th

Appetizer:

When you were a child, which crayon color was your favorite?

Well, that depends. How can I narrow it down when it is clear that most colours are needed for something. I was lucky to have the huge box of crayons with built in sharpener. I gravitated to the pinks, purples and blues. Of course the gold and silver were special too. But you can't colour leaves any colour but green so even the "ugly" colours had a purpose. And I coloured everything - not just the good parts of the picture. A lot of rules to this!

Soup On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being highest), how likely would you be to change jobs if it required you to move?

Not a chance, Cliff is happy and paying the bills for us so moving is out of the question. I would be willing to live part time in Bancroft if ministry took me out to that area of the province but that would be the extent of it - the gas to and from Bancroft to the church and to Toronto would eat any pay so Cliff would still have to work overtime!

Of course that's taking God out of the picture. Once you put God in the conversation its impossible to nail anything down because it could be Cliff that decides he has been called to move on to somewhere else!

Salad Take all the numbers in your birthday and your phone number and add them up, one by one. What’s the total?

See, I can't answer that - is the 13 in my birthday 1+3 or 13?

Main Course Have you ever “re-gifted” anything? If so, what was it and who did you pass it on to?

Obviously if I ever regifted anything I couldn't talk about it here. I can't say that I have. The closest I came was giving away a book that I loved to someone in ministry because I couldn't find a new copy but I later replaced it and the original copy was in great condition. But that isn't really the same thing because the book was sooo good and I hoped useful. I did watch crib sheets I bought for my sister-in-law get regifted to another sister-in-law at a shower with the comment that they got too much of this stuff and didn't bother using it - she had forgotten they came from us - at least I think she forgot! I suppose its okay but I wished I had bought something more useful.

Dessert Name something you need from the store.

The questions are really vague this time around aren't they! Milk, eggs, TP? I'm looking for a cream to beige coloured skirt for the fall - semi-formal - tea length or shorter. Need - not really!

Mourning Loss of a Mentor

I've been to a lot of funerals. Cousins who have died far too soon, young people at school driving too fast, my own father. Most of the time I grieve for them and for their family. With my father, I grieved for the loss of sharing my new Christian life with him. I didn't tell him I was Christian because I new he could be very good at debate (he once won against a school mate who became a very prominent Canadian lawyer) and I wasn't ready for his very logical and demanding arguments.

But I've never lost a mentor before. I might not have seen this person often but I emailed him the odd time when I wanted to share something. He always returned emails so I always felt connected in some way. Like a good mentor, sometimes he was a friend, sometimes a foe but what I respected and learned from him most was that he was always willing to reengage in conversation and sharing ideas. We didn't have a solidified relationship, there was no acknowledgement of any significant tie between us.

I've never visited someone who is dying. It was so hard because there was a lot I wanted to acknowledge but couldn't given that we were praying for a miracle. Sometimes the fewer words the better.

It was just before New Year's Day and he asked me if I was going to preach on the weekend. I laughed because that is my built in defense if someone asks me about this from the CRC church - its a painful joke coming from a denomination that never affirmed my calling. He may as well asked me if I was going to run for mayor. But his response caught me off guard - he asked me quite seriously "why do you laugh?". When someone is weak and sick they don't have the time to waste breath. So you know what you hear is likely the closest to the truth from that person.

I know he knows how much he meant to me. In prayer I do what I always do when I'm frustrated or bewildered - I prayed - "God this sucks" and I told him how much I wanted my friend to get better because he is my mentor and I want the same miracle he wanted.

I'll be honest, my grief isn't really about him. I wish I knew that he was ready to be with God, I sense he had things left to do - I think most thoughtful Christians always feel like there is more to do before we die. But I trust God to care for him even if I don't really know what heaven is. I'm selfish. I'm not ready to lose someone who will email me back about my random thoughts and questions. Who will challenge me, frustrate me beyond all limits and still speak to me the next day. Who though educated beyond my aspirations will ask me big questions and genuinely want to know what I think. Who will sympathize instead of telling me why my feelings or emotions are misplaced.

I miss you George!

I'll trade you a wise man for a Joseph....

Sometimes things strike me as funny and I can't quite say why. The morning was bizarre to start with. I had an appointment with this medical guru - I had to wait 5 months just to get in to see him. He practices in this big clinic in Burlington that is Christian based and is located in the Crossroads Centre. The Crossroads Centre became the new location for 100 Huntley Street years ago and now houses CTS (that Christian station you keep flipping past).

In a million years I never would have thought I would be in the building that does Christian broadcasting.

So, I was already a little out of my zone when I see that the Blessings store has a nativity set for sale. There is a note on the box - "Joseph is missing, but there are 4 wise men." I know that one day this will make a good sermon illustration. Any old wise man can fill in for poor Joseph. Of course you know that somewhere is a nativity with two Josephs and two wise men. If Mary was missing would we stick in some replacement? Perhaps cover up a sheep with a blue scarf?

Now for my rant...I can't stand nativity scenes. We always had one when I was a kid - and I admit something happened to Joseph and one of the wise men had to fill in. But about 10 years ago I was watching TV early Sunday morning and a very smart man was preaching about the the fallacy of having wise men peering down at baby Jesus when they actually did not reach him for a few years. Every year NYGH puts up the nativity scene. It's suffocating to look at. The last year I worked there they decided to keep the nativity safe by putting plexiglass over the front of the manger. This has forced tight quarters for everyone. I'm a visual person so the lack of air holes really bugged me. It was great having a desk by the window but you can see I was often distracted by the goings on outside!

New Year's Resolution - Get Cremated

Like most of you I get a lot of crap in the mail. I got two pieces today that made me think:

Apparently, Highland Memorial Gardens thinks Jan 1st is the day to start a mail campaign to urge people to prebook their funerals. The literature is actually dated for Jan 1st so obviously some marketing manager thought that "hey, its the perfect time for people to think about what they need to plan for the New Year". I have never been squeamish about death and have no fear of it so I can see the humour in it. But the big headline "Cremation. You might think it's the last decision you have to make...." in neon sickly green/yellow on a black background just doesn't entice me to put this at the top of my resolutions.

The second piece of mail is flogging more of the Thomas Kincade. Apparently he is a Christian and his gift is from God. I happen to believe that God is far more creative then Kincade is giving Him credit for. Come on, even you fans of his work have to admit that his paintings of English cottages do look an awful lot alike! The really frightening part of this once in a lifetime offer of a piece of resin sculpture is that it comes with two little figurines to put in front of the Christmas house - one of Thomas and his wife Nanette. Okay, guys, I gotta tell you - this is why a lot of people think Christians are nuts!

Welcome Friends to my 2007 Plans

Here's where I'm headed in 2007:

* still at Calvary - great church, enjoy the admin job - they want to increase my hours to 15 a week (I'm laughing because I often already put in 15 but I could use the money).

* back to Greek second semester and two new courses - graduation May 2007!

* time to apply for Seminary. Given it tons of thought and better yet time to sort out where I'm headed. Likely the InDiv program which allows me to work in ministry and work on my M Div for pastoring part-time. The major differences between doing this and going to a regular MDiv part time is that the InDiv program is encouraging new ways of looking at church and the class of students remain the same for the whole program. They become a ministry team to challenge and support one another. 2 years ago I was not ready for this but now I am looking forward to the "group thing". I've matured!

* to Holland in May - a promise I have to fulfill to Cliff and his aunt

* hopefully either another part time job or better yet a full time in ministry job after I get back from Holland. Would really like to earn enough money to support my schooling so I can get off of relying on my credit line!

Fair to say that I have a busy 6 months ahead? But very exciting and I am much more sure about where I'm going then 6 months ago so everything is peachy!

For those of you who have gone through university - what kind of post graduation loans did you have to pay off - I keep panicking that I owe money. Most students do don't they?

Food Bank - Huh?

I'm walking past a donation bin for the food bank and I see a bag of Doritos. Now, I realise that this is Tyndale and to some Doritos might fall into one of the food groups but I have to also note it was on the Seminary side where the age of the students is a little higher and the in ministry experience is a little more rounded.

Lesley was saying she noticed the same thing at Loblaws, some of the donations just boggle the mind. What on earth am I going to do with a box of cake mix. Yes, it is nice to think that I could make a birthday cake for my child but perhaps sending him to school with some protein in his stomach would be a little more helpful. I think we are so clueless. I'm sure people mean well, but it seems that there is an idea that food bank use is just to pick up a few things - that people aren't really as bad off as to need tuna over cake. I'm going to ask our food bank what they do with the chocolates and stuff - maybe I can start buying them and giving them the cash. I've seen the paperwork and even at non-living wage you are only allowed to come to the foodbank at most 4 times a month - this is to ensure there is enough food for everyone.

The whole donate food has been bugging me for some time because I reason that they could do a much better job buying the food wholesale if I give them cash. But there is something so gratifying about giving something you can see. I have always wondered why a supermarket doesn't have food bank drives where they lower the price on the food bank type items and put limits per customer. They would likely make money because I will go to that chain to buy tuna at the cheapest price and do the rest of my shopping while I am there. And maybe they could put up the price of Doritos and cake mix during that week!!

Good Customer Service Graduation

I had a really good customer service experience the other day. I went to my dentist and was told he was running late - which was fine because they have magazines I can't afford!

When I went in for the treatment he handed me a gift certificate to the LCBO saying that my time is as important has his time. Isn't that great! Had four small fillings done - and it was okay. If you are looking for a dentist his name is Arjay Singh and he works on Sheppard at Pharmacy. Very nice office and really good staff.

Now on the other hand, I was at Tyndale and needed to pay for my courses. Tyndale is not York. The registration and accounts payable counter is about 10 feet long and there are two places to line up. Usually they are really super and they often remember my name - no,not because I'm a bitch but because they are good! It was a few days before the last day to register so the line was unusually long. I did what I had to do and then got in the other line to pay. Then I asked for the form to fill out for graduation so I could pay the fee. The clerk looks at me and tells me that I need to go to Registration to get the form. I'm like are you serious? Oh yeah, they hand out the forms. I don't get this - they are all behind the counter side by side - its like lining up at McDonald's everything is back there. The forms are simply photocopied Word docs - and they are hanging up all over campus so its not like they are secure. What could I do? I had to go back into the Registration line to get the form.

Cliff couldn't believe I had to pay to graduate. I think I remembered this from York so I wasn't too surprised. The nice thing about going to a small school is I can invite as many as I like - so everyone who wants is invited to come out on Saturay, May 5th to see me graduate!

Last Exam

I wrote my last exam last night. Have you ever gotten to the point where you just want to finish - who cares about the mark? I got to that point and kept telling myself that once I started writing I would be so busy that the time would fly. But actually during the exam I can remember feeling like I just wanted to hand it in! I've never had that before. The prof was nice the way he set it up. You could choose three questions for 33.3 marks each or do 4 for 25 marks. Of course I picked writing 4 - the chances of a higher mark just made me go that route. Took me 2.5 hours and I'm not normally that long so I must have written enough! There was that panicky moment where the first person handed the exam in at the hour mark - everyone looks up thinking the same thing "did he just blow the exam or am I screwed!?".

This year was tough because 50% of my mark for this course was based on two papers I handed in on Nov 30th and 40% of my Ezekiel course was based on a paper handed in on the 27th. I didn't get the Ezekiel paper back until I handed in the exam and that just sucks because you like to have an idea of where you stand.

Driving home there was an incredible sense of freedom for about 15 minutes. By the time I got in the driveway I had already figured out what all was waiting for me at work and over the holiday!

Consumer Rant

I have had the worst customer service - at least three stories worth! The latest is that I went to Zeller's on a break from studying. I like to grab something to eat at the foodcourt at Centrepoint and then look over my notes there - there's lots of background noise and activity which I prefer.

Anyhow, there is a huge display of those boxes of Neilson chocolate - the ones that are Rosebuds, Macaroons, Slowpokes and they are advertised for 1.00. I usually don't buy them unless they are down are 97 cents but I figured if I bought anything else I would pick up a box on my way out the door.

I go through the cash and check my bill and I was charged 1.09. I go back and sure enough the sign says 1.00. What really pisses me is the tax - I bought two boxes so I figure I'll get more than 18 cents back.

I stand in line and I explain to the clerk that the sign says 1.00. She asks me if they are the same product. Now picture this - in front of her cash is a skid of this crap. Its a impulse buy and I can't possibly be the first person to buy this. So I explain that it is the same product. Having determined that I do need a refund she then tells me I have to go to the clerk that sold me the product. This is one line over and there is a lady buying a ton o crap so I'm not to thrilled about this. I ask her what would happen if the clerk had gone home for the day. Oh, well, I really just need to go to that specific cash. I ask her to show me where on my bill it says which cash because this just sounds like bullshit and I wanted to make sure that someone could actually tell which cash I went through before I change lanes. She shows me - I ask her if she realises that this is a stupid policy and she agrees that it is and she doesn't know why its this way.

Anyhow, I'm in the next lane and I have the same conversation. The cashier goes over and takes down the sign (finally someone with some responsibility) and explains to me that the sign was for a sale that ended on the 8th but since the sign was up she will give me the cheaper price. Here is where I really wanted to scream - I was buying this on the 13th. For 5 days they have been overcharging 9 cents a box on an item that is an impulse buy. How can you have a sale item with two signs on it for 5 days and I be the first person to notice. I really want to send a letter to Zellers asking them to pull up all the sales of that product from those cashes and donate the money to charity!

Wedding Veils

Cliff is going to Haiti to help some missionaries build a Seminary. Often when travellers go over the missionaries will have a list of things they miss from home and will see if some stuff can be brought. One person wants Mountain Dew, another wants pecans for baking and so on. Well, Cliff called one of my friends to see what she thougth about her and I providing a wedding veil. She thought it was a great idea and said yes.

I haven't blogged for some time because I am always somewhere worrying about where I need to be next. Sewing a wedding veil was not on my top 100 things to do before Christmas. And certainly not on my list of things to have done by October 13th!

The first part of the problem is that I can't sew. I don't do my own hemming (which is why I have three pairs of pants I can't wear) and I usually end up swearing and throwing things when I actually do attempt to get anything done. To pick a veil as our project is highly laughable. On the one hand its a bunch of tulle in layers which sounds easy. On the other its tulle that will get jammed in the fabric feeder, will require a zigzag stitch and binding for the edges and will be a complete hassle.

So I went online to eBay today to see if I could find one for sale within the next few days in Toronto. I put my highest bid as 40 American and I have been outbid. I'm not convinced its worth going higher - the picture isn't very clear and its cathedral length so I don't know how it will look with the dress. So, we'll see what happens. I don't have a good feeling about this........