Wedding Veils

Cliff is going to Haiti to help some missionaries build a Seminary. Often when travellers go over the missionaries will have a list of things they miss from home and will see if some stuff can be brought. One person wants Mountain Dew, another wants pecans for baking and so on. Well, Cliff called one of my friends to see what she thougth about her and I providing a wedding veil. She thought it was a great idea and said yes.

I haven't blogged for some time because I am always somewhere worrying about where I need to be next. Sewing a wedding veil was not on my top 100 things to do before Christmas. And certainly not on my list of things to have done by October 13th!

The first part of the problem is that I can't sew. I don't do my own hemming (which is why I have three pairs of pants I can't wear) and I usually end up swearing and throwing things when I actually do attempt to get anything done. To pick a veil as our project is highly laughable. On the one hand its a bunch of tulle in layers which sounds easy. On the other its tulle that will get jammed in the fabric feeder, will require a zigzag stitch and binding for the edges and will be a complete hassle.

So I went online to eBay today to see if I could find one for sale within the next few days in Toronto. I put my highest bid as 40 American and I have been outbid. I'm not convinced its worth going higher - the picture isn't very clear and its cathedral length so I don't know how it will look with the dress. So, we'll see what happens. I don't have a good feeling about this........

Apology to Fellow Christians

Ah, its tough. I live in two worlds. There is the Christian world where things fall between two straight lines. After a while I know what not to say, what jokes are not appropriate. But that's not my culture. I come from a non-Christian culture - I understand the context of the jokes and the discussions. I understand that they are not meant to dishonour God - you can't intentionally dishonour those you don't know. As a Christian, I strive to know the difference - my actions are fuelled by a response to grace. I remember very well what it is to live without God and I identify with that culture. And this puts me in a difficult place sometimes.

To invite Christians to read my site which has links to my brother's site is tricky. My brother is a riot. He is smart, funny and very caring. But how he expresses himself might be shocking to others. So if you are easily offended don't go to his Mookieslasthope site. And don't mistake that he is speaking for non-Christians - there are non-Christians that might be offended by his language too. Just like there are Christians that I don't like the way they witness or treat others or use the Bible to preach their word instead of God's word. But I am far closer in personality, temperment and humour to my brother than any of my Christian friends. The only thing that makes us different is that Christ has claimed me - and I had no say in that!

Did we as Christians create the Christian culture or is it of God? If it is of God why does it separate us into us and them? How can I be salt and light if I avoid the places where I'm offended? How can I say I understand grace if I avoid those who have not yet received it?

Too many questions for this kind of blog!

First Week at School - Its all Greek to Me!

I have a total of three classes. Two are studies of books of the Bible - Ezekial and 1 Corinthians. The other is Greek - which is thankfully split into two 1 hour and 45 minute sections.

I had my last class for the week tonight and I am exhausted! Not to mention a little freaked out. Greek is moving pretty fast and though I really enjoy it I hate not being on top of something. I have to learn the definite articles by Monday. I have the alphabet down, dipthongs are on the way. I didn't even know what a dipthong was three days ago!

For my Corinthians class I have to recite from memory 1 Cor 13. This is not my thing, memory whether for faces, names or songs (I can't guarantee I get O Canada right!). Its only worth 5 marks but I have to present it in front of 3 adults. I hear a wings and beer night calling! That oughta throw the Firkin crowd off! C'mon - you know you want to take part in this educational journey!

Sadly, every Christian knows what 1 Cor 13 is - except for me - I had to look it up. Chapter and verse rote isn't my thing either. For the uninitiated it is the chapter that includes "Love is patient, love is kind". You have heard it at a wedding at some point in your life. Following the recitation I will give a rant on how much I can't stand this passage being used for weddings ....

Going back as a third year student is neat. There is no anxiety, I know where everything is and I know what to expect. Oh, except in the computer lab. The took away the hard drives - you now need a thingy to download to. I don't have a thingy or a thing on my home computer to read the thingy. C'mon Ian - help me out and at least tell me the technological words for this stuff - Lesley and Bernie can't help me they work in hospitals and schools - they probably still have those huge floppys!

Party Hell

I went to a great party on the weekend. Great food, fantastic music, bar well stocked with anything you could imagine. Very nice people.

Problem is I didn't know anyone other than the hosts. As someone studying to be a pastor I keep thinking to myself - just talk to someone. I try this but it is not my strong suit. I hate small talk - its just so irrelevant. At one point it looks like a junior high school dance. We are all sitting on chairs lining the wall.

It was one of those surprise party deals where we got there way ahead of the birthday boy. SO I can't just leave after a reasonable amount of time that would be rude. And there were a group of people there that I enjoyed listening to though I couldn't really join in as they were talking about work. Thankfully, a group if non-Christians. This is when I realised how much I miss sitting with people with my background.

So I had a good time in a strange way. Once the guest arrived the barriers started to be broken down because he could find common ground between different people. It was really weird to be the only person there from the church because that was my label - "my friend from church". Which is great but its a lousy conversation starter - I was just relieved no one asked me what I do during the day. As soon as I say I'm studying in Bible College people become tongue tied.

The worst party I have ever been to was at my sister-in-law's. For those who know my family - this does not surprise you! Get this. She takes her husband out with another couple to dinner to come back to her apartment with us all waiting. Thing is none of us know each other. There was a mixture of family, friends and coworkers. No one knew more than one other person in the room. There were snacks laid out but we didn't dare touch them. The girl that had the key to open the apartment didn't really have instructions.

It was pretty bad and then the phone call came. At the time we were expecting them to arrive they called and said that they just got a seat! At the Keg! Give me a break. It was at that point that someone bravely suggested we start eating the chips. I'm family so I have no hope of leaving. It was horrid. I swore never again - a promise I have kept after too many of these family parties. I have horror stories of family birthdays and christenings where I would have preferred a Tupperware party in place of the actual event. Remind me to tell you about my in-laws lingerie party where my idiot brother-in-law came downstairs dancing dressed in tiger print underwear wearing Cliff's police belt and night stick. Why would you want to do this in front of people including your mother? The horror! The horror!

The Weird Bread at the Deli Counter

I was snooping around Sobey's Sunday night looking for dinner and school lunches. Why I waited until 10 pm on a school night I don't know. I had all summer to think about school lunches but I waited until the last minute.

I had the same thought that I often have when I walk past the Deli counter. Who buys the weird bread there? You know. The bread that sits on that little low shelf in front of the deli case. Its all tiny bags and big slices of bread and all of it has the look of being old. Like a month old. It looks like something they would feed you on a crossing of the Atlantic in the late 1800's. With some ale.

I picture little old ladies hunched over in black poking at it with their canes. Yet I never actually see anyone buying it. I've never even seen my mother-in-law buy it. And she is a likely candidate. We were moving her stuff up north - a four hour drive and she packed us cheese sandwiches - and was very annoyed that we had the audacity to stop at Rotten Ronnies on the way up. See, if you cut the moldy section off of the bread and cheese its perfectly fine. In her defense she did grow up in the war in Holland - old habits die hard.

So my plan is to take her past the weird bread and see if she bites! I'll let you know!

Where Have I Been!

Boy! Its been a while since I posted. I have been going through this angst over looking at new churches. For a lot of people it would sound like this would be as easy as changing your grocery store. Its more like a divorce. I want a trial separation where I come in and out of my home church while I try to see if there is something else out there that I fit into better. Leaving me feeling very guilty. Did I try hard enough, can I overlook some of the missing parts of the relationship - can I go elsewhere to pick up what I'm missing? Lots of people do that last thing. You go to church on Sunday and the rest of the week you spend time in your other worlds. Your friends are outside of the church, you volunteer outside of the church, your recreation is outside, your mentors are outside. But I'm not wired like that - I believe the local church is the only hope for the world. How can I faithfully attend without friends, activities, mentors?

So, while you all are shaking your head saying "Leave already!" its a bit harder than that. Then how will I know when I am in the right church? I've been married too long to go back to the dating scene. That whole "a second date looks good" to the final, inevitable "what was I thinking!"

I went to a good church on the weekend. Small, committed, diverse. But they need parishioners who can put in some time and I just don't have any to give this year - I am stressed by the amount of stuff on my plate already. Last year I was looking exactly for a church like this where I could get really involved and make a difference. This year I just want a place to crash on Sunday. Which means my home church suddenly became perfect - I can hear some of you grinding your teeth!

Anyhow, this has consumed all of my worry time. So I haven't had anything funny to write. Not that I ever did before!

Stressed - Shopping for the differently abled.

Boy, am I stressed and unless I'm stressed to the point of insanity I'm just not funny. I'm in the middle of letting my church know that I'm not happy and am planning to find another church and my job at the other church is picking up at break neck speed. Spent my morning arguing with a guy about a room booking. All part of the process to saving souls I guess.

If I do start heading out to other churches to see what's out there I think there will be tons of material for future blogs! Maybe a whole blog based on those experiences.

I do have a story about a grocery store. I was in Dominion at Don Mills Centre. Because the mall itself is closed down most of the grocery store patrons are from across the street - which are mostly seniors' buildings.

It didn't take me very many aisles to realise that I was the most fit and able bodied person in the room. Very sad. Walker, wheel chairs, canes. Every aisle had someone needing help reaching, hearing or reading. Unfortunately, I like to stop and help people. I quickly realised that this is not the grocery store to go to if I am in a rush because there are just too many people needing help! Just listening to one deaf old woman try to put in an order on a personalized birthday cake was enough to make me want to jab my eyes out with a rusty nail. Even the people who didn't have obvious impediments obviously had impediments if you know what I mean.

Friday's Feast - August 11

Appetizer
Tell about a toy you remember from your childhood.

The Fisher Price Castle. Complete with drawbridge, thrones, royal family, dungeon and secret doors. Oh yeah, it also had a carriage and horses. I loved it. I also love my Miss America dress up set that I got when I turned 7. I carefully put it on walked around the room in it and then took it off - it was too good to play with. My toys were in pristine condition! As a matter of fact back when I was about 5 or 6 the Barbie Camper was all the rage. Just the perfect accessory for Suntan Barbie. We lived on Vancouver Island and the toy was sold out. One of the ladies on the street went over to the mainland with 4 orders for campers for kids in the neighbourhood - mine was the only one still in one piece months after Christmas.

Soup
If you could make one thing in the world absolutely free for everyone, what would it be?

Medications. Even in Canada there are people who can not afford medications. Especially for children.


Salad
Approximately how many times per day do you think about your significant other?

I'm not even sure. He comes across my mind a lot. Not always for good reasons - see my moving violation entry.


Main Course
What is something you believe in 100%?

Too easy. Jesus Christ as God's plan for redeeming the world.



Dessert
Name one thing you have done this week that you would consider a "good deed."

Set up! After the answer above I'm going to look like a typical hypocritical Christian if I have nothing to answer. Hmm. I'm looking into getting the pastor that has been taking care of my internship a ticket to a conference on the Arts. Its a gift rather than a deed but I am going to trouble to do it - maybe that counts. And I picked up three ballet outfits from a store for three little girls that I know would love them - they weren't expensive but I think that counts. And I've got some donations of paper and binders for our Food Bank for back to school. Everything I do seems to be around money! I do a lot of babysitting for my friend but wasn't need last week!

See what counselling can do!

You've got read Mookies Last Hope. See my brother is me without counselling. He is a helluva lot funnier and can go into a rant over the most assinine things. I highly respect this. I used to be able to rant - I actually took on security at Pearson one time and had 50 people following my lead. That was of course pre 911 - and counselling.

I was in Zeller's today. Yeah, I know its a Sunday and I'm not supposed to but well, I needed hanging file folders. Which I haven't actually done anything with yet so "need" is overstated.

Anyhow, I get in line and there is confusion at one of the cashes. The register is not working. Come on - the register works its the operator. There are two clerks playing with it and people are getting frustrated because the other cash is going through some kind of bizarre return or something.

Well this chick who is off duty starts yacking it up with one of the clerks trying to fix the machine. Now I know that logically it probably isn't going to make a difference in the long run if she stands and chats but it really pisses me off. Like "HELLO - I'M THE CUSTOMER YOU SHOULD BE PAYING ATTENTION TO". Before counselling I would have already told the two of them that I don't particularly care what movie they are going to go see and if you are off duty then get your ass out of the way or help fix the problem. But see, I'm a kinder, gentler person now. I think about telling these two to get it together but I don't.

The other day Cliff and I were eating in Zellers (yeah, my age is showing but I defy you to find a better burger and fries) and a chick off duty is standing talking to one of the servers. With a freakin' Teen Burger from A&W in her hand! Meanwhile bud with his 4 year old is waiting to place his order. My skin crawls when I see that kinda stuff going on.

But this is progress for me. I should be happy that I didn't say anything. Its none of my business and its not up to me to fix the world. Grrrr.

There are no new shoe styles after 39!

Well, I took some "me time" and went looking for a low pair of black shoes. And I realized that now that I'm 40 there are no more surprises in the shoe market. Everything I saw I have seen before in some other year. Kitten heels - wore those when I was 19. Wedgies with ribbon laces - didn't wear them because I had taste back in the 80's. Mettalic - well I guess I lied about taste! I had a pair in high school that were like a burnished bronze. Pumps with pointed toes, pumps with square toes - been there, done that. Pumps with pieces of metal as accents - so 80's.

I love shoes. I'm always looking for the perfect pair. So to realise that there is nothing new under the sun is such a let down. It always used to be I saw a pair I loved that I couldn't afford, couldnt' walk in, couldn't fit into, didn't have anything to wear with them. Now its just that they are old news.

I did see a pair of patent leather flats with bows on the front - with square toes. They are very much like the white cotton pair I had back in the early 90's. But I'm 40. Can I really get away with patent leather bows? I'm so depressed......