Apostles Creed - By Ceiling Cat

Modern English Version


I believe in God, the Father almighty,

creator of heaven and earth.



I believe in Jesus Christ, God's only Son, our Lord,

who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,

born of the Virgin Mary,

suffered under Pontius Pilate,

was crucified, died, and was buried;

he descended to the dead.

On the third day he rose again;

he ascended into heaven,

he is seated at the right hand of the Father,

and he will come again to judge the living and the dead.



I believe in the Holy Spirit,

the holy catholic church,

the communion of saints,

the forgiveness of sins,

the resurrection of the body,

and the life everlasting. AMEN.



Ceiling Cat Creed


We blieves in one big kitteh, Ceiling Cat,

who maded teh urfs an teh skiez

an all teh cheezburgers an teh invizibul bicycles an stuff.


We blieves in one happycat, Jeebus,

onliest son ov Ceiling Cat,

bornded beefor all teh cheezburgers an stuffs,

He gots some Ceiling Cat in him, srsly, k?

He helpded Ceiling Cat makes all teh cheezburgers an stuffs.

"Fer all teh kittehs he comez down frum teh ceiling

an beez a kitteh thru da Force an teh virjn Hello Kitty! wit no hankie pankies,

an was reely a kitteh, srsly.

He got teh crucify fer us kittehs by Pilate;

An gots todally pwned and faceplanted.

An caem bak to lief on teh thrd dai liek it wuz fortolded in teh Bible

An went bak up to teh Ceiling, an tuk a nappy in teh sunbeam nex to Ceiling Cat.

He will come bak daon frum teh Ceiling, to be teh judge ov teh live kittehs an teh dead kittehs.

An hiz kitteh kingdum bees furevr.


We blieves in Hovercat, teh giber ov life,

who comes frum Ceiling Cat [an maybe Jeebus],  (Ha ! filoque controversy! - Vic)

who we lurves jus like Ceiling Cat an Happycat,

an who tellz teh profits whut to sai.

We blieves in teh itteh bitteh kitteh committeh.

We DO NOT WANT baffs, but will hav wun fur furgivness.

We spektin to caem bak to life after we faceplant,

an lives furever in teh Ceiling.