American Fast Food

I have a love/hate relationship with American food. As bad as our fast food is in Canada, the stuff in the States can be really bad. Maybe its no worse, maybe I'm just used to Canadian food and don't notice that its just as bad.

There is one place I want to try out before I cross the border - White Castle. I have seen pictures of their burgers and they look like the come out of a school cafeteria from the mid 70's. I can't imagine why people want to eat these and I'm curious if they are as bad as they look!

That's the thing I love about travelling - I really like checking out the culture - maybe because I am so sensitive to the mood and setting of a place that I am always trying to figure out what the social mores are.

I'm a Wimp

I generally remain clinical in the face of others' emotions. Which can be a good thing if you are trying to listen and be supportive without getting emotionally involved. Of course, some people think this is a bad thing - that to be good at relationships you need feel the others' pain.

In spite of this, I do have a rather bizarre emotional side in that I react very sympathetically to commercials. Not the obviously sappy ones where I think "get it together, man" but just certain ones. I can barely stand the Excel commercial with the doughnut, onion and coffee cup. The poor doughnut - he tries to keep up and his roly poly body is a disadvantage. And look that the way the coffee cup's feet wiggle in the back seat of the taxi. C'mon watch it and tell me your throat does get all choked up:

Excel Commercial

It's time to get a job.

Well, I've come to the same conclusion as my prof. Its time to go and get a job in ministry - I can't learn anymore as a student. I'm not sure when it happened, but I realised that I really have done all I can do from the grass roots level - I need some form of ministry where I am actually doing the job and given a group to lead. Not likely to happen where I am now, so it looks like I will be looking for a paying gig. Its too bad I couldn't be given a meaty role as a volunteer - that just isn't the way it goes for some reason. You would think that non profits would be thrilled to have someone do the work for free for the experience - especially when we are without a pastor.

The preaching will get better with experience as well.

Once I'm back from vacation, my resume will be up to date and I am going to try to find some places to preach while I look for meaningful responsibilities.

Tough Guys

Boy, oh boy, I tell you the world has changed. There was a big rugby tournament going on and as we were going into a store two really solid guys, obviously players were talking. As they walked by I heard the one say to his friend "Yeah, I've been rather touchy lately". I imagined that he was talking about getting pissed on the field at some of the plays or something. Then he gave his explanation "I've been on a total cleanse".

Yogamites do the "total cleanse" thing. Not rugby players!

Easter Cookes - Oh My

My Oh My friend who is honoured with the blog being named after her has found another reason to say "Oh My!". Here is a recipe for Easter Cookies that she found. I had to read it carefully because I thought for sure it was a spoof to make fun of Christians. No, we do a good enough job ourselves.

Our favourite parts - beating the nuts as a representation of Christ's beating, taping the over door shut, the sadness of having to leave Jesus/cookies overnight - because lets face it the kids want to eat the cookies now! I'm a visual person so equating the oven to the tomb automatically equates cookies to Jesus.

Anyhow, my friend has suggested a whole Outreach Bible Cookbook - apple pie with a pastry snake on top. I am starting to think of tasty ways to cook up the animals on the ark.

Easter Story Cookies


This is a great tradition to start with the family. Read from the scriptures as you spend time together baking cookies. Each step of the recipe parallels a truth from the quoted scriptures.

Ingredients:

1 cup pecan halves
1 teaspoon distilled white vinegar
3 egg whites
1 pinch salt
1 cup white sugar

Directions:

Preheat oven to 300° F (150° C).
Place pecans in zipper baggie and let children beat them with the wooden spoon to break into small pieces. Explain that after Jesus was arrested, He was beaten by the Roman soldiers.
Read John 19:1-3
Let each child smell the vinegar. Put 1 tsp. vinegar into mixing bowl.
Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross, He was given vinegar to drink.
Read John 19:28-30
Add egg whites to vinegar. Eggs represent life. Explain that Jesus gave His life to give us life.
Read John 10:10-11
Sprinkle a little salt into each child's hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest into the bowl. Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus' followers, and the bitterness of our own sin.
Read Luke 23:27
So far, the ingredients are not very appetizing. Add 1 cup sugar.
Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us. He wants us to know and belong to Him.
Psalms 34:8 and John 3:16
Beat with a mixer on high speed for 12 to 15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed. Explain that the color white represents the purity in God's eyes of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus.
Read Isaiah 1:18 and John 3:1-3
Fold in broken nuts. Drop by teaspoons onto wax paper covered cookie sheet.
Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus'
body was laid.
Read Matthew 27:57-60
Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven OFF.
Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door. Explain that Jesus'
tomb was sealed.
Read Matthew 27:65-66
Go to bed. Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight. Jesus' followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed.
Read John 16:20 and 22
On Easter morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. Notice the cracked surface and take a bite. The cookies are hollow! Explain that on the first Easter, Jesus' followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty.
Read Matthew 28:1-9

Shut Up!

Whoa, it happened today. My mother-in-law told her daughter to "shut up". In a forced through the teeth whispery kind of voice. In front of me and her support worker.

I had heard of this kind of behaviour but had never witnessed it because quite frankly she has never had the audacity to tell me to shut up. Apparently this is a favourite action towards her daughter.

So we are sitting there and I hear this violent "shut up!" and I called her on it pretty forcibly. How can anyone tell their daughter to shut up especially in front of other people. I told her that she has never had the balls to do that to me and that I know she wouldn't dare do it so she should not be doing it to her daughter either. She was taken aback, I know she thought I couldn't see from my angle and she forgets that with her hearing she is louder than she knows. She started to say she never said it and then changed to say she was "just joking".

Anyhow, I am still in shock just how nasty this woman can be. She has been on much better behaviour with me obviously - I've been told that I scare her. Well if intimidating her is the only way to keep her from being so mean I'm not sure how to respond. Is it better to be nice and let her do whatever she wants to people? I don't think so but as a Christian I'm not sure where the boundary is.

Once again a retirement home has been suggested - every professional that has been in contact with us tells us that she is not safe even with the restrictions in her home, but she refuses to discuss it - hence the "shut up".

I think as a family we have decided we have done all that we can do and have reasoned as much as we can to better living arrangements. Short of forcing her into a home which legally we really can't do, there is no way to provide better then what she has. Which is inadequate as she cannot leave her apartment by herself. We suspect she will begin to do all the things that she is restricted from and I personally doubt she will avoid a serious fall before the end of the summer.

We are All Deaf and Blind

I have been preparing my sermon for Wednesday on Doubting Thomas. A favourite guy of mine because he had the nerve to actually question the reality of the risen Christ from the grave.

And while working on this sermon I reflected on what he had going for him - he was part of a small group, he liked to ask questions (Lord, we don't know where you are going), he would follow Jesus to death (Let us go and die with him). Do you notice to that the talks about himself in terms of community - we and us. He was ripe for faith and yet when the other disciples kept telling him about Christ arisen he refused or couldn't believe.

With the thoughts of the nursing home crowd in my mind I was thinking what I didn't have going for me - some are blind, some are deaf, some are not really cognitive. But you know, that is all of us. None of us "found" Christ - we are unable to find him on our own. We are blind and deaf and with defective reasoning. Instead of thinking that the nursing home is the hardest place to preach it is the most honest place to preach. It is the place where nothing I say or do will convince anyone of anything. My actions, my willingness to come points to something - but I have no power that is not given to me except by God. So really, my best preaching will be there because I can't rely on the cheap jokes and passionate response to emotional words.

Somewhere is the dividing line between preaching technique and faith - trying to spend enough time on both is what is needed.

Best Worship

I was asked to do the service today at a nursing home.

I spend most of my time trying to find someone who did not have plans on Sunday afternoon to play piano. Finally, as I was trying to find midi files to play in lieu of a pianist, an angel was found who was available.

I thought about the message and came across Romans 8. There were parts of the passage that talked about no one able to condemn us and that nothing separates us from the love of God. So I centered my talk about what Easter means in terms of God's love using John 3:16 as a starting point as I figured the older folks would know that passage by heart and would like to hear it.

I didn't put a lot of effort in making the reading come alive - the passage is so self explanatory that to add to it almost detracts from it. I felt guilty for not pouring more time into it but couldn't find a way to add to it without lengthening the service or adding words just to appease the sermon critics.

It was awful. My pianist arrived a bit late and without her glasses. We tried one song - Christ Arose which is too low for me and the tune is a bit foggy for me until we get to the chorus. That was when it became really clear that the pianist needed something to help her see the notes. As she ran off to find some reading glasses I plugged along.

At one point, one of the women looked totally disgusted with me! But I understood - hearing about Christ isn't the same as experiencng Christ and if you live in a nursing home you are bound to be jaded. I continued on relieved to see the pianist back with her glasses.

Amazing Grace went much better - and it was at that point that I figured out why the lack of a tune was killing me - there were none of the strong singers from the church who normally help out! The room was relying on me and one other woman (who didn't agree with me on the tune) to get through the songs. I just tried to sing a bit more confidently and cut out some songs.

Thankfully, after Amazing Grace the daughter of a resident told us about the story of its writing and I was able to tie that into the grace of Christ and what it means for someone to be absolved of their guilt. What a relief for a bit of an intervention.

On my way out to the car, I thought about my recent preaching experiences which have been so disappointing and wondering if I just don't have the skill set for it and its time to face this honestely. Then I thought about my next sermon on Wednesday which is about how I can't convince someone to come to faith, I can only provide a witness.

The nursing supervisor thanked us many times for coming on Easter - they weren't expecting a service because I guess they knew everyone is too involved in their own plans. One resident recited John 3:16 with me (I was wise enough to take it from the King James version). Most residents joined in on the Lord's prayer and many sang Amazing Grace and Rock of Ages. I think our efforts with our sincerity was magnificent to God.

If preaching comes hard in these situations then it makes me rely so much more on God to do his thing. Whether these experiences are a just a means of teaching me this I don't know. I know when I first started preaching I always got good reviews. I pray that I will have the wisdom to know whether this is testing me for my humility or whether I just suck at giving the message. I get to give it another try on Wednesday in class, but I have to say I am feeling very unsure.

C. told me later that the woman who was making faces and seemed so annoyed at the message was actually reacting to a lady sitting across from her who was making chewing faces! To continue to bring a message with all of these worries and distractions was good and I think I learned some more today.

Christian Stuff

Don't know if anyone reads this very often, but if you do you might notice that I have been quiet. I've been experiencing life. Which means its been a bit of a mixture of ups and downs and decisions. Being quiet is good, normally I'm impatient to make a decision and force people to abide by it!

I think I've left my "Christian" teen years where being impulsive and passionate is slowly giving away to a more matured response. And also a realisation that all of the communities that we serve and serve us can only take us so far. And sometimes they don't take us where we need to go at all. Sooner or later as we mature we realise that all the best advice in the world is just a perspective and like all perspectives there really isn't a right or wrong.

So how does one make decisions in this space? Well, as a Christian I look for guidance in Scripture - and that's tough. Because I know what "should" be happening based on Scripture. But I also know what may happen if I follow it. It seems that my role so often in this new life has been to not go with the flow of the river, but to slow the flow, frustrate it. But a river keeps moving quickly along once it gets past the disruption. Its the rock in the river that ends up yielding bit by bit by the continual battering.

Not a good frame of mind for ministry. And it has crossed my mind that this all seems futile and the first advice of not going into ministry was maybe the best I ever received. But then I take a breath and go back to Scripture. In a post modern mind it is very hard to remember to follow "Truth". There are so many truths that are false promises. But I remind myself that if I don't believe that Scripture is different then I've already left ministry. I have no idea where I am going career wise. I know I have had an influence in my small way in my arenas, I pray that it was for the glory of God. But I still feel stuck, not going with the flow means not fitting in at church, not going with all the advice that I have been given - most of it conflicting anyway.

This is the best time of year to have this reflection. I am preaching at the nursing home on Sunday (hopefully no one will scream out "I want to die" this time) and I am preaching on that nothing can separate us from the love of God. Easter in a nursing home seems like a place to preach hope without really engaging in the reality of the congregation. But the passage is for me as much as for them. Rather than the sugar coated messages of candy filled filled mouths is the other side of Easter - that the darkest places are still in the light. That we are not forgotten, that we are not and can never be separated from the love of God. That sometimes the only comfort we have in our bodies and our spirit is this promise. Without Easter, nothing is bearable.

That's why I like the photo up top - taken "borrowed" from a friend's collection of work. Its sunrise and the light casts promise of more light, the trees will become clearer, the snow will melt to reveal the landscape more clearly. There is more than I can see now.

Who Are These People?

I have a thing about greeting cards with photos of people on them. Who are these people? What kind of stock footage is this? If they are funny cards, I don't mind. But engagement cards, Valentine's - anything with a real sentiment bothers me - it just annoys me that the anonymous strangers are icons for my sentiment.





So you can imagine my irritation when I went to grab a cup from W's cupboard with a photo of three smiling, anonymous, children on it. I had a feeling I already knew the answer, but on the off chance they were some relatives from Holland, I asked, "Who are these people?" Apparently, they are the grand children of a dead resident down the hall. The children of the deceased wisely knowing that its a hassle to cart off stuff to Goodwill suggested the tenants take anything they could use. Hence the cup. The other 19 mugs weren't enough I suppose.