Shut Up!

Whoa, it happened today. My mother-in-law told her daughter to "shut up". In a forced through the teeth whispery kind of voice. In front of me and her support worker.

I had heard of this kind of behaviour but had never witnessed it because quite frankly she has never had the audacity to tell me to shut up. Apparently this is a favourite action towards her daughter.

So we are sitting there and I hear this violent "shut up!" and I called her on it pretty forcibly. How can anyone tell their daughter to shut up especially in front of other people. I told her that she has never had the balls to do that to me and that I know she wouldn't dare do it so she should not be doing it to her daughter either. She was taken aback, I know she thought I couldn't see from my angle and she forgets that with her hearing she is louder than she knows. She started to say she never said it and then changed to say she was "just joking".

Anyhow, I am still in shock just how nasty this woman can be. She has been on much better behaviour with me obviously - I've been told that I scare her. Well if intimidating her is the only way to keep her from being so mean I'm not sure how to respond. Is it better to be nice and let her do whatever she wants to people? I don't think so but as a Christian I'm not sure where the boundary is.

Once again a retirement home has been suggested - every professional that has been in contact with us tells us that she is not safe even with the restrictions in her home, but she refuses to discuss it - hence the "shut up".

I think as a family we have decided we have done all that we can do and have reasoned as much as we can to better living arrangements. Short of forcing her into a home which legally we really can't do, there is no way to provide better then what she has. Which is inadequate as she cannot leave her apartment by herself. We suspect she will begin to do all the things that she is restricted from and I personally doubt she will avoid a serious fall before the end of the summer.