My TV Evangelist Loot

I got another envelope from Peter Popoff the Prophet. He has send me so many little gifts to encourage me to send money - I am thoroughly enjoying them.

This time though was a real extensive set of stuff. I received:

a very cheaply made cotton glove
a plastic vial of annointing oil
a plastic baggie

I was too excited by the bulky contents of the envelope to read the attached letter, though Peter put big warnings to read the letter first! I hope I didn't jinx everything.

Without reading the whole letter here is what I understand I am supposed to do.

First the glove is G-d's glove of love (or was it love glove?). ((Did you watch the Simpson's with Milhouse's father's song "Can I Borrow a Feeling"? It has a line in it about a glove of love.))

I am supposed to write my pray need (never a prayer of thanksgiving or commitment always a prayer asking for something) on the palm of the glove. Then I put the annointing oil all over my hand and stick my hand in the glove making sure the glove gets saturated with the oil.

The I put the glove in the provided plastic baggie and slip in my twenty dollars (oh, that's to show G-d that I believe that he will bless my meager 20 with tons more money) and ship the whole thing off to Peter.

I am very worried that this won't work - after all it will be hard to write a prayer request on the glove let alone ensure that the oil doesn't smudge my request. What if my request gets garbled? I don't want Peter praying for the wrong thing!

I'm dying to know what my next package is.....