First Wedding Today

I have the privilege of marrying a friends mother and beau today. I'm not licensed so I'm not actually doing the legal bit - someone is doing that a bit before our ceremony. But I am doing the vows and blessing before God which I consider to be really important.

I never really wanted to get into the wedding business - because in many ways it is a business. If a couple are in my church and they want to wed and I have serious misgivings what can I do? The church hires me to give spiritual direction and marry. Maybe some days those two things don't line up. So I rather not get into that whole thing.

Its funny that the couple, particularly the bride has left me with very little instructions. They looked over the ceremony and have approved it but there is not procession down the aisle, no readings by family members or any of the extras. And I realised at the last minute with the grooms poor hearing that repeating the vows may be extra stress - so I called and they prefer that I read the vows and they just say "I do". Even the location is a little worrying - not sure if the spot they chose will fit the number of people - I have a back up plan just in case - I just saw the spot last night! And I found some nice paper to put the ceremony on so when I stand there I am reading from an elegant looking booklet rather than a piece of paper - they can keep it afterwards.

So this is different then what I would normally expect and I wanted to make note of it before the event to see how it goes. I'm confident about it - I have expectations that things will be a little confused but I'm confident that I have thought out what those confusions will be! It is very exciting - C and I have not been out to a party in a long time and this is one I actuallylook forward to - I'm usually reluctant to go to these things.

Tornadoes in Toronto

Okay, this is stupid. We leave this meeting and as we get in the car and driving down Yonge Street the local news station - 680 - reports that there is a funnel cloud sighted at the foot of Jarvis Street. I can see by the green sky to the East and the black sky to the South that this is one nasty storm. I'm a little panicky. C isn't - he figures we should just keep on heading to a coffee shop for a coffee figuring that if its our time its our time. I suggest that heading South on Yonge is really stupid and the least we could do is drive East. Meanwhile they are announcing all kinds of safety warnings - some of which are incredibly innane. Like cars were built to protect you in accidents so stay in your car. I'm not sure how many car companies test their cars in a tornado wind tunnel and can guarantee that my car will fly me to safety.

Anyhow, the panic is there and then the announcer says this really stupid thing. He tells us that a funnel cloud is a tornado that is forming and has not touched landed. A tornado actually touches the land. I'm grateful for this explanation but he has more to say. He asks the callers to please be careful in calling in whether its a tornado or a funnel cloud that they are reporting!

Ahh, yeah, I"ll be sure to note that as I'm kissing my ass goodbye - lucky if I call in at all, don't be picky on the vernacular I use. Note the picture above - a woman is clearly documenting the event so they can determine whether it was just a funnel cloud or a tornado that whipped the camera out of her hand.

We must have just missed the storm by a block because when we got to Bayview there were some trees knocked over including a power line and construction signs and stuff strewn on the street. But we are safe.

Follow Up to Previous Post

Hmm. That was an interesting meeting. I left more conflicted then ever. The possibility of actually getting support from some people to go to Calvin is tempting. I'm tired of self guidance and of trying to learn bits and pieces of each situation - I really want a solid mentor and internship with people to guide me.

It was interesting the quandry I'm in as I can register to Calvin as a student and then receive a license to preach which gets me out of having to deal with the current church for preaching and the whole sticky situation there. However, how do I get a recommendation to Calvin via this particular church? I still have a question of how this will turn out in the end.

I have also been encouraged to remember that not all churches are the same, there are some that are unhealthy just as there are some elders that aren't really meant to be elders. And I know this is true in all places where humans make up the congregation.

I'll have to see how this goes, there are just limited churches in my area that are CRC and few have pastors in place. Its hard finding a mentor.

Maybe I'm taking Hebrew this year for a reason after all.

Turning Point or Just Another Day?

I have an interesting meeting tonight. Dinner with a member (and the most sympathetic I believe) of the denominational body that oversees the guidance of students going to seminary.

Interesting because I have not heard from this body since relaying that Council would not recommend me to seminary without first putting me into an accountability group due to "unChrist like behaviour". Since I was already in a group - with a member of Council sitting on it for a year, it should have been embarassing that I still was deemed to need this help and that Council was unaware that it already existed.

So, I'm curious about what this person has to say on behalf of classis. And I have been careful not to think too much about what I will say. Perhaps silence is the best and to only answer questions put directly to me.

Part of me wonders if this is a turning point - the denomination and church that I gave all of my hopes and time to will now see what they have led me to or if this is just another day in a life. Part of me is vain to wish that they would like to keep me. I have had people since the change over of council note that the denomination would do well to keep me. Sadly I am vain enough to suspect that the denomination could do with far more people like me. This might be because I tenaciously believe that the church has a good approach to understanding our relationship with God through Christ and that what they teach is solid. But what they do! Time and time again they deny the grace we are to extend to others and exact a pound of flesh. Its as if we don't believe anyone truly deserves the Gospel - which is right theologically but kills the Good News that we don't deserve grace but are given it in spite of ourselves.

So as I wait to see what my current relationship with the decidedly pentecostal church will be and journey with the staid Presbyterian group, I have a meeting with this past love.

My favourite part in Pride and Prejudice where Darby declares his love for Elizabeth by noting that despite her low connections and his superior breeding that he can't resist loving her. He is shocked when she turns down this rich offer of marriage as being beneath her own appreciation of herself. I try not to get too interested in what will be said this afternoon, but can't totally eradicate my own sense of justice not too feel a little hopeful that I for once will be the one turning down the offer for a connection with this denomination.

In the end it really doesn't matter. The question comes to can I live in a church where the elders are in full control of the church regardless of their own maturity in Christ? I have a hard time looking the other way and I can't imagine allowing the type of behaviour I witnessed to go unchecked. I can barely do so as a parishioner.

So I go, wise enough to know that I should not have any preconceived wishes or ideas of what the meeting will be like but too sinful not to be totally innocent in wanting some form of justice or recognition for what has been lost.

Growing Arms

I heard a sermon yesterday that really disturbed me. An ancedote was given which indicated that a group had gotten together and prayed for a man who had lost an arm in the war. As a result of the prayer fingers started to grow out of the arm and then slowly a whole new arm emerged.

Now, imagine as I am hearing this what you know must be going through my mind. How can anyone believe that this has happened? I was given the name Frances Hunter which I later looked up on the Internet. I couldn't find claims of growing a whole arm but there are claims of growing a limb under an inch. They are the Happy Hunters. I've never heard of them but they have quite the following. But I note that even the charismatic websites are starting to question these faith healers.

Forget the power of the Spirit - I'm not disputing that. I believe Jesus is God, that he died and rose again on the third day. I beleive that he rose people from the dead. I also know that he has totally changed my life around and as obnoxious as my personality may be at times, I am a different person. This is testimony enough - I don't need new arms growing off of stumps to believe.

But I'm not born yesterday. If this was true, this news story would have shot around the world. For heaven's sakes we have stories about face transplants that we all know about - a new arm growing would be quite the story. Think about how many images of Mary found on potato chips and on the sides of buildings we have heard about - why haven't I heard about the miraculous arm?

Yet, and this really gets me, pastors in my life are often not willing to criticize Benny Hinn, Todd Bentley and others for obvious errors in judgment. They are not willing to suggest that they are frauds as if this somehow denigrates the Holy Spirit. However, if you look at any of the evidence of these faith healings you will find a few ancedotal stories out of the 1000's of healings they do a year. If you want to glorify God wouldn't you want everyone to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he has healed? And if God was using you so powerfully would you not be in such a humble state and in such a fear of that power that you would feel obliged to ensure that your bank accounts are open for scrutiny. As pastors we are called to put our lives on display - broken as we are - surely the church bank accounts should be open to scrutiny if suggestions of making money off of healing causes people to stumble?

This is common sense and I don't understand the unwillingness of the holy to take a stand. If you believe that this stuff is real then work to glorify God and answer the skeptics. If you are not sure then work to become sure one way or the other. But putting our head in the sand makes us either ignorant of God's miraculous works or aiding those who are fraudsters to blaspheme God.

All My Exes Live in Texas

Cliff and I are going to learn the song below for Karaoke next Monday night for a driveway party. I was intrigued by the title and promised to sing it next week. I must be crazy.


Chorus:All my ex's live in Texas
and Texas is the place I'd dearly love to be
but all my ex's live in Texas
and that's why I hang my hat in Tennessee

Rosanna's down in Texarkana
wanted me to push her broom
Sweet Eileen's in Abilene
She forgot I hung the moon
and Allison's in Galveston
somehow lost her sanity
and Dimple's who now lives in Temple's
got the law looking for me

Chorus
I remember that old Frio River
where I learned to swim
but it brings to mind another time
where I wore my welcome thin
By transcendental meditation
I go there each night
but I always come back to myself
long before daylight

All my ex's live in Texas
and Texas is the place Id dearly love to be
but all my ex's live in Texas
therefore I reside in Tennessee

Some folks think I'm hidin'
It's been rumored that I died
but I'm alive and well in Tennessee

Redneck?

My mother and brother are making fun of us because we like to watch Nascar races.

Meanwhile the two of them go online to play a computer game with 100,000 other people. Their conversation sounds something like this:

M: Have you been to the dark forest?

B: Yeah, you go there to get the axe.

M: I couldn't find the axe, the goblins kept killing me.

B: You have to go across the fence.

M: I saw the fence but couldn't find an opening.

B: I only go there when I need to. I'm scared of the dark forest.

Huh? Its okay for two adults to go online into a virtual world looking for axes but its redneck to watch drivers and their teams use math and science to figure out how to win a race on the least amount of pit stops and tire changes? Admittedly, watching Nascar is passive. However, I don't have a great inclination to go virtual fishing or virtual tree planting in order to sell what I catch or grow to buy an axe to finish some bizarre ritual to earn points. Fishing is sorta real time. You cast, you wait, you yank up the line.

More frightening is the thought of me coming across my mother while in one of these virtual reality worlds. How weird is that?

Mandarin Buffet

Yup, I was contemplating standing in line for free Mandarin on Wednesday. I spent some time with my brother discussing the factors in choosing a location that would have the fewest in line:

1) must be one you can drive to - accessbility by walking or mass transit allows the lower income who might be attracted to free good food!

2) must be one that is not in the city close to other things - people with children will likely not want to stand in a barren parking lot for hours

3) if it rains, the line will be reduced by one hour wait maybe more

4) the only time to go is for opening - if you don't get in within the first wave there is not telling how long you will wait

5) we debated whether the fact that it is free and you have to wait would result in longer eating times or shorter. When I'm paying the big bucks I will try to get my money's worth. If its free am I trying to get all that I can because its a rare treat or is the fact that I'm in there eating whatever I want enough? We didn't factor in the wait time- if you have waited for three hours would you be more likely to take longer to make up for the standing around or is the fact that you made it in the door victory enough?

I was prepared to go to the Mandarin at 404 and 7. It has lots of criteria - its in a part of town that is not residential but rather mixed used industry. There is limited bus service and no TTC. Its near a Chinese area which I figured might actually work in my favour - would anyone Chinese stand in line to eat here? I figured I could stand for two hours 10 a.m. for 12 p.m. seating.

However, when I read the blogs of the last free dinner years ago I saw that wait times were upwards of 3 or 4 hours! I'm going to stand for four hours and break my diet just because its free? As my mom pointed out the dieting would probably mean the food would be too rich and I wouldn't be able to fill up anyways.

The Yonge and Eglinton location had a line up of 800 people before it opened. I'm sure my strategy would have worked - but we opted to drive up to the cottage to make sure its still standing and to open it up for the season. July 1st was a great day to go -coming home the highway was pretty smooth!

Update

Well, I think I've come to terms with my journey at this point. I have no answers except that reading the beginning of Romans has really helped centre me a bit in taking criticism in stride.

I have also been thinking of specific people and their full personalities and realising that many of them would not have been approved by Council to enter ministry either. Yet God has called them and works through them just like he did Moses, David and Paul.

Which leaves me still with the call and trying to be wise. Regardless of denomination there will be those who don't like my personality. On the other hand, I've seen some people who are very easy to get along with but they still have issues which may be a bit more hidden. We naturally gravitate to "nice" people - just keep your ugly side hidden. Its really ironic to be in a denomination that can't go one week without telling itself and others that we are born sinful and without hope yet we are so disappointed when people don't measure up. I would rather have a pastor with warts then one that seems to preach from being above it all.

Perhaps that's post modern. Or realistic. Or maybe I'm just making it easier for me!

So I do have an application out for a ministry position - have had no feedback at all which is bothersome - I would like to know that they received it. Its downtown in a big church working Sunday evening service doing Outreach and getting to help prepare worship. I love thinking about worship and tying it into the life of the church so I am hopeful!

No bags please!

I don't care that I'm being charged 5 cents a bag. I do care that it is the city that insists upon it and yet the money is collected by the store who then decides what to do with it. I don't even care if they pocket it, I'm just annoyed that they are told what they have to collect this encouragement fee to avoid bags and then get hassled.

C and I were having a coffee and I noticed a man carrying two packages of white dress shirts. Forgetting about the bag issue momentarily I wondered why he was carrying them around. It looked like he walked out of the store without paying. Then I remembered the whole bag issue.

A friend of my mother's related a story growing up in logging country BC. She was sent to the corner store with a note from her mother. The clerk wrapped up a box in brown paper. Now the little girl was quite intrigued in what her mother could be buying that would be wrapped up like a gift. So she spent her trip back carefully unwrapping the sanitary products. Her mother was horrified to find that by the time she got them home they were exposed to the public.

Now, back to the bag issue. C and I started to wonder which items we could purchase in this little plaza and place smack dab in the middle of our table in the Food Court which would force someone to give us a bag! Oh My!