I'm not up on my end times theology so for those non-Christians out there I will explain this rather badly. Some believe that at the end of the world the believers will be taken up into heaven while the earth continues to live on for 1000 years. Thus you have probably heard of the "Left Behind" series of books that talks about the end times. For those left behind, life ain't too good.
I'm pretty cynical so I'm still a bit unsure if I believe this but there is a website called You've Been Left Behind. For 40 dollars a year I can have emails ready to send at the end times for my loved ones who have not become Christian. The email will come into your box alerting you to the fact that I have beens swept up into Christ's presence and that it is not too late for you to come to know him.
Now here is how it works. There are staff who must sign into their computer program everyday - at least three. They are located across the country (States). If there are not three signed in over a period of three days then the program launches giving another three day window before the emails are automatically sent out.
Interesting. Now guys, do me a favour and save me 40 bucks a year. If I should disappear, along with many of your friends assume the best - the end times have come. I don't particularly believe in this understanding of the end times, there are lots of different interpretations, so don't wait for me to disappear to ask questions about being Christian. I'm not sure I believe in this second chance business - so don't wait - get your questions in now. Not only will I save 40 bucks but we could have a blast hanging out as Christians!
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Friday, July 04, 2008
Preaching Last Week
After being totally overwhelmed with the opportunity to preach at my church and making it the biggest deal it could be I am happy to say that I am still standing.
I go through this everytime, no matter what I do I rarely am satisfied with what was preached. I had some technical problems in my delivery but its more a criticism of how I want it to be delivered and how it actually gets delivered. That might be a good thing.
I think the biggest problem I had was that the message wasn't really what I wanted. It was close but in changing some things to get it approved the focus got thrown where I didn't really intend it to go. It was a good message and I pray that the Holy Spirit did the rest.
And that's the thing I keep telling myself. I can't account for my own sinfulness in the process. I can only try my best and leave the rest to God and let him take it where it needs to go.
I am still in thought about my next one. Its so hard to discern what God wants to say apart from what I think the church needs to hear. I am still working through this - does being called mean that I have any more insight then anyone else as to what is needed? How do I know whether to trust my own instincts and intuition without getting caught up in my own perspective? I can't separate myself from the message - God teaches me a lot through my work on the passages so preaching seems selfish in some respects.
Right now I am thinking about Moses and all the complaining the people had when they were in the desert. A lot of stuff is coming to me about this passage and it will be interesting to see how it turns out! I relate so well with the complainers!
I go through this everytime, no matter what I do I rarely am satisfied with what was preached. I had some technical problems in my delivery but its more a criticism of how I want it to be delivered and how it actually gets delivered. That might be a good thing.
I think the biggest problem I had was that the message wasn't really what I wanted. It was close but in changing some things to get it approved the focus got thrown where I didn't really intend it to go. It was a good message and I pray that the Holy Spirit did the rest.
And that's the thing I keep telling myself. I can't account for my own sinfulness in the process. I can only try my best and leave the rest to God and let him take it where it needs to go.
I am still in thought about my next one. Its so hard to discern what God wants to say apart from what I think the church needs to hear. I am still working through this - does being called mean that I have any more insight then anyone else as to what is needed? How do I know whether to trust my own instincts and intuition without getting caught up in my own perspective? I can't separate myself from the message - God teaches me a lot through my work on the passages so preaching seems selfish in some respects.
Right now I am thinking about Moses and all the complaining the people had when they were in the desert. A lot of stuff is coming to me about this passage and it will be interesting to see how it turns out! I relate so well with the complainers!
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Snakes Alive! - Part 2
After discovering a snake lying in the door to our bedroom which sadly is where the bathroom is I realised a few things:
- everyone lied who told me snakes couldn't possibly get into the cottage
- the underbelly of the trailer where the bathroom is needs to be patched immediately
- it will be impossible for me to ever pee in that bathroom again
Sadly, the other bathroom was out of commission while C repairs a few pipes. And after holding for many, many hours I had to pee. So I send C into the bedroom and bathroom to check it out. He comes back assuring me that there is no culprits lurking.
I shuffle my way over, ensuring that C stays there in case something happens. I look cautiously in the bathroom and lo and behold the toilet seat is down! I ask "Did you lift the lid". No.
Anyone who has ever considered a snake loose in the city knows the fear of going to the toilet at 3:00 a.m. In the light of day, it seems ridiculous to worry about some random culprit popping up but at the "death hour" (most people who die of natural causes die between 3-4 a.m.) fear is ever present.
I assured C that until the seat is lifted and the bowl inspected his check is completely useless.
Now why they decided to put a heat vent right in front of the toilet I don't know. Even before "The Incident" it worried me a bit. But now I need C to stand at the door because I can't possibly scan every entry point on my own.
It gets better. Later in the evening as I started to feel a bit more at ease I finally got up the nerve to have a shower. I told C he had to sit in the bathroom with me because I can't stand not knowing what is going on while I'm in that enclosed space. Idiot. At some point to reassure me that he is still there - he reaches in and pokes me on the back! Once the screaming subsided he understood that there is a reason for all those shower scenes in movies!!
- everyone lied who told me snakes couldn't possibly get into the cottage
- the underbelly of the trailer where the bathroom is needs to be patched immediately
- it will be impossible for me to ever pee in that bathroom again
Sadly, the other bathroom was out of commission while C repairs a few pipes. And after holding for many, many hours I had to pee. So I send C into the bedroom and bathroom to check it out. He comes back assuring me that there is no culprits lurking.
I shuffle my way over, ensuring that C stays there in case something happens. I look cautiously in the bathroom and lo and behold the toilet seat is down! I ask "Did you lift the lid". No.
Anyone who has ever considered a snake loose in the city knows the fear of going to the toilet at 3:00 a.m. In the light of day, it seems ridiculous to worry about some random culprit popping up but at the "death hour" (most people who die of natural causes die between 3-4 a.m.) fear is ever present.
I assured C that until the seat is lifted and the bowl inspected his check is completely useless.
Now why they decided to put a heat vent right in front of the toilet I don't know. Even before "The Incident" it worried me a bit. But now I need C to stand at the door because I can't possibly scan every entry point on my own.
It gets better. Later in the evening as I started to feel a bit more at ease I finally got up the nerve to have a shower. I told C he had to sit in the bathroom with me because I can't stand not knowing what is going on while I'm in that enclosed space. Idiot. At some point to reassure me that he is still there - he reaches in and pokes me on the back! Once the screaming subsided he understood that there is a reason for all those shower scenes in movies!!
Snakes Alive - Part 1
Egads!
Went to the cottage from Monday to Wednesday. Lots of work to do there - the first being the cutting of the grass. It takes about 4 hours to do the whole thing, maybe longer. My better half always starts a section for me so that I can walk in the short grass while I move the long grass. I have a phobia of snakes and it is impossible for me to negotiate long grass!
Well, I got most of the back done but as the front got started I saw a little snake dart under the cottage. Hubby clipped his tail - which grossed me out because somewhere there is a littl snakey tail lying about.
We followed the snake into the back woods, I tried to take an interest hoping that I can get over this fear by sheer willpower. No such luck - after trying to mow the front yard I had to give in to my fear!
So we went inside and played on our ancient Nintendo. While I was playing, C was getting ready to do some work on the water pipe. He comes out of the bedroom and puts on one rubber glove. Thinking he has seen a mouse, I ask him. Nope, he says "there is one in here". A snake is in our cottage!!
I will spare you the hysterical details which basically has me in tears and unable to function. First was the chant "I need to get out of here". Once I was out the chant was "Get IT out". The culprit was about a foot and a half - C agrees with this (I think it was closer to 2 feet but I tend to exagerate in these circumstances).
Different options are explored, along with the mantra "I want to go home". Since it is only Tuesday early afternoon there is a long day and night ahead. I finally find a spot on the deck where I can see everything and keep my feet up. C spends the next four hours working on the water pipe that needs to be replaced.
After four hours I worked up enough courage to consider staying the night. Because I knew that if I went home I would never step foot on the property again. I don't know how I did it because even now I am freaked out. I don't even like typing the S word!
Went to the cottage from Monday to Wednesday. Lots of work to do there - the first being the cutting of the grass. It takes about 4 hours to do the whole thing, maybe longer. My better half always starts a section for me so that I can walk in the short grass while I move the long grass. I have a phobia of snakes and it is impossible for me to negotiate long grass!
Well, I got most of the back done but as the front got started I saw a little snake dart under the cottage. Hubby clipped his tail - which grossed me out because somewhere there is a littl snakey tail lying about.
We followed the snake into the back woods, I tried to take an interest hoping that I can get over this fear by sheer willpower. No such luck - after trying to mow the front yard I had to give in to my fear!
So we went inside and played on our ancient Nintendo. While I was playing, C was getting ready to do some work on the water pipe. He comes out of the bedroom and puts on one rubber glove. Thinking he has seen a mouse, I ask him. Nope, he says "there is one in here". A snake is in our cottage!!
I will spare you the hysterical details which basically has me in tears and unable to function. First was the chant "I need to get out of here". Once I was out the chant was "Get IT out". The culprit was about a foot and a half - C agrees with this (I think it was closer to 2 feet but I tend to exagerate in these circumstances).
Different options are explored, along with the mantra "I want to go home". Since it is only Tuesday early afternoon there is a long day and night ahead. I finally find a spot on the deck where I can see everything and keep my feet up. C spends the next four hours working on the water pipe that needs to be replaced.
After four hours I worked up enough courage to consider staying the night. Because I knew that if I went home I would never step foot on the property again. I don't know how I did it because even now I am freaked out. I don't even like typing the S word!
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Stress Dreams
I get these dreams where the same motif appears when I'm stressed out. Stupid things like trying to drive the car sitting in the wrong place - like the back seat. Spending the whole dream looking for a clean bathroom. Getting on an elevator that shoots past the right floor.
Lately they are slightly different:
- helping some new refugees try to buy clothes - they don't know their size, are stymied by the cost and each get talked into a store credit card in order to get a discount. After the second one, I get the store manager who tells off the sales clerk for giving credit to someone who is going to drown with the interest in a few months. It is also Christmas Eve (a common theme in my stress dreams) and I am trying to finish up these transactions before the stores close.
- a bizarre dream of trying to figure out which "people" are really computers. Shooting them works at first, but then we realise that they have gotten smarter and have started booby trapping themselves to blow up if shot. For some reason I don't actually shoot anyone - but I travel with this person who does the shooting. The stress of not being the shooter is so much about me being a control freak
- lost at York University. My mom and brother come to see a lecture of a favourite professor. My brother goes upstairs to get gum but doesn't come back. I go to look for him and get lost - I know which building I'm supposed to be in but can't figure out how to get there. All the students I stop and ask are night students who have never been in the building I am looking for. I am in a total panic as hours have passed by, we are all separated and I have not taken my cell phone.
And today an afternoon nap has left me with this one (my sermon put me to sleep!). I drive to the church scheduled to preach. The church doesn't look quite the same but I see people I recognize. They give me a white robe to wear. I'm not happy about that - white looks ridiculous to preach in! I try to get the thing on but the arm holes are sewn shut. I curse the pageant director for sewing the sleeves shut in an effort to make angel costumes at Christmas (which makes total sense if you think about them as wings). Meanwhile, I realise I'm running a bit late, there are very few spots at the front to sit and I'm wedged in. I'm surprised to see we have gone the route of drama and sit through a bizarre African inspired offering. I realise at this point that my sermon is sitting on the passenger seat of the car. I try to decide which is worse, whinging it without my notes or leaving the packed church in the middle of service to retrieve my script.
- I also had a funeral home dream - the funeral home that my relatives pick is absolutley crammed with history but also the most chaotic combination of function and display. Old stained glass windows, sitting areas for tea, different rooms where people wait to go to the main chapel for the service. It is run by some old Scottish lady who is actually the cleaner for the church next door. The place is a nightmare and I can't remember why but I walk out of the funeral for some family reason refusing to attend.
- a hospital dream where I still work at the hospital sort of. I get interviewed by a new safety consultant who asks me questions about fire safety. The interview takes place in an open area and the lab techs behind me are whispering and not being very kind. I finally turn my chair sideways but they continue. I insist we move the interview somewhere else. In the new room we are in the interviewer starts clutching his chest. I ask him if he is having a heart attack and then ask if he wants me to call a Code Blue. I pick up the phone but for the life of me I can't remember the number for a Code Blue. I end up going out into the hallway screaming at nurses and techs that I have a Code. They laugh, the few that look like they are concerned at first then start to laugh. I freak out running down to ER to try to find a nurse. I then figure out that the whole thing was BS and it was actually a test to see whether employees felt comfortable in empowerment and confrontation. I promise to sue the b&&&#d for the mental anguish he has put me through - I spend the rest of the dream trying to figure out if it was really a test or if the guy actually died.
I am hoping that after I preach these dreams will go away, I don't normally have so many for so long - these have just been over the past week and they leave me feeling very unsettled - and tired!
Lately they are slightly different:
- helping some new refugees try to buy clothes - they don't know their size, are stymied by the cost and each get talked into a store credit card in order to get a discount. After the second one, I get the store manager who tells off the sales clerk for giving credit to someone who is going to drown with the interest in a few months. It is also Christmas Eve (a common theme in my stress dreams) and I am trying to finish up these transactions before the stores close.
- a bizarre dream of trying to figure out which "people" are really computers. Shooting them works at first, but then we realise that they have gotten smarter and have started booby trapping themselves to blow up if shot. For some reason I don't actually shoot anyone - but I travel with this person who does the shooting. The stress of not being the shooter is so much about me being a control freak
- lost at York University. My mom and brother come to see a lecture of a favourite professor. My brother goes upstairs to get gum but doesn't come back. I go to look for him and get lost - I know which building I'm supposed to be in but can't figure out how to get there. All the students I stop and ask are night students who have never been in the building I am looking for. I am in a total panic as hours have passed by, we are all separated and I have not taken my cell phone.
And today an afternoon nap has left me with this one (my sermon put me to sleep!). I drive to the church scheduled to preach. The church doesn't look quite the same but I see people I recognize. They give me a white robe to wear. I'm not happy about that - white looks ridiculous to preach in! I try to get the thing on but the arm holes are sewn shut. I curse the pageant director for sewing the sleeves shut in an effort to make angel costumes at Christmas (which makes total sense if you think about them as wings). Meanwhile, I realise I'm running a bit late, there are very few spots at the front to sit and I'm wedged in. I'm surprised to see we have gone the route of drama and sit through a bizarre African inspired offering. I realise at this point that my sermon is sitting on the passenger seat of the car. I try to decide which is worse, whinging it without my notes or leaving the packed church in the middle of service to retrieve my script.
- I also had a funeral home dream - the funeral home that my relatives pick is absolutley crammed with history but also the most chaotic combination of function and display. Old stained glass windows, sitting areas for tea, different rooms where people wait to go to the main chapel for the service. It is run by some old Scottish lady who is actually the cleaner for the church next door. The place is a nightmare and I can't remember why but I walk out of the funeral for some family reason refusing to attend.
- a hospital dream where I still work at the hospital sort of. I get interviewed by a new safety consultant who asks me questions about fire safety. The interview takes place in an open area and the lab techs behind me are whispering and not being very kind. I finally turn my chair sideways but they continue. I insist we move the interview somewhere else. In the new room we are in the interviewer starts clutching his chest. I ask him if he is having a heart attack and then ask if he wants me to call a Code Blue. I pick up the phone but for the life of me I can't remember the number for a Code Blue. I end up going out into the hallway screaming at nurses and techs that I have a Code. They laugh, the few that look like they are concerned at first then start to laugh. I freak out running down to ER to try to find a nurse. I then figure out that the whole thing was BS and it was actually a test to see whether employees felt comfortable in empowerment and confrontation. I promise to sue the b&&&#d for the mental anguish he has put me through - I spend the rest of the dream trying to figure out if it was really a test or if the guy actually died.
I am hoping that after I preach these dreams will go away, I don't normally have so many for so long - these have just been over the past week and they leave me feeling very unsettled - and tired!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Etsy
Oh no! I have been introduced to this website called Etsy. Its like ebay but you buy the goods without bidding. Saw some cool things and I have found I have a fondness for old syrupy greeting cards so I bought a few. They are practical because they can be used and they end up cheaper then store bought as long as you are careful with the shipping costs.
I spent so much time on their last night - but it didn't interupt my work because I was supposed to be sleeping!
I spent so much time on their last night - but it didn't interupt my work because I was supposed to be sleeping!
Where Have I Been?
I can't believe I haven't posted in so long. I had a great birthday, had lunch with a friend and the time flew. Another friend had a successful surgery. Ooh, I got a glass teapot with those flowers that "bloom" in the water. I have wanted one for a while.
Its been a fast few weeks. Preached and have another date this Sunday. Still have one easy peasy paper to do which really should have been done last week. I vow to have it finished soon!
Spent the afternoon working on my WillowdaleCares church network. Creating a registration form for churches who want to join. And I got business cards last night. I'm a bit worried that this will fizzle but I have back up plans and lots of ideas for community ministry in the fall!
Its been a fast few weeks. Preached and have another date this Sunday. Still have one easy peasy paper to do which really should have been done last week. I vow to have it finished soon!
Spent the afternoon working on my WillowdaleCares church network. Creating a registration form for churches who want to join. And I got business cards last night. I'm a bit worried that this will fizzle but I have back up plans and lots of ideas for community ministry in the fall!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
I'm only 42!!!!
I am so excited - I just gained a year of youth. I just figured out that I am only turning 42 this year. I don't know when it happened but at some point I started thinking I already was 42. I never used to care about this stuff until I turned 39. How does someone forget how old they are? - I guess when they get old they forget ;)
Sunday, June 08, 2008
revgalblogpals Five Questions
Grammatical Pet Peeve
I keep getting "passive voice consider revising" on my grammar check. Problem is my grammar is so bad that I don't know what that means. I asked a teacher and she didn't know either - though we both went to very good schools, grammar was not taught. So my pet peeve is more about me and what I can't do then what others do.
Household Pet Peeve
It drives me crazy that my husband puts dirty dishes in the sink. We have a dishwasher - if he put them in there right away I could actually use the sink for other things. On the other hand he does all the cooking so probably I should be putting everything away!
Arts and Entertainment Pet Peeve
I can not stand it when people talk during a movie. I even get uptight during the previews.
Liturgical Pet Peeve
It bugs me that we expect parishioners to understand the flow of the liturgy but we do nothing to educate them. I learned what I know from Bible college. Many of my fellow students don't even see the need for it and yet I think it forces us to do what is needed. Worship isn't about performance its about connecting with God and the saints and how can you do this without first acknowledging him, our sins, our need for grace and so on?
Wild Card
I sat in a church service where there was a lot of whispering going on. During the sermon. During the congregational prayer. Parents were present. I do not understand this - I have never experienced this before. If the children were young or if the family had never been to church before I could understand it. I had to move in the end which was embarassing for me because I tried to ignore it but found it hard to really take in the sermon. Why would anyone do this? Do they realise that the preacher is very aware of what people are doing in the pews?
Bonus - what do I do that would be a pet peeve for others?
I'm afraid to mention all of the annoying things because if they hadn't been obvious they will be now:
I talk to myself while I work. I am sure that this has driven people crazy in the past. I do it especially when I am concentrating.
I tend to interupt people. Its not that I mean too, I just get too excited. I love sharing ideas - but I guess its not really sharing if you aren't listening to the other person.
I get into rants. Drives my husband crazy - we had an encounter in Sears with two salespeople offering assistance in selling us a bed. I was so put off that I ranted all the way out of the parking lot. My husband rarely rants. He just pronounces - "That's stupid." No commentary.
When I change seats during a sermon :)
I keep getting "passive voice consider revising" on my grammar check. Problem is my grammar is so bad that I don't know what that means. I asked a teacher and she didn't know either - though we both went to very good schools, grammar was not taught. So my pet peeve is more about me and what I can't do then what others do.
Household Pet Peeve
It drives me crazy that my husband puts dirty dishes in the sink. We have a dishwasher - if he put them in there right away I could actually use the sink for other things. On the other hand he does all the cooking so probably I should be putting everything away!
Arts and Entertainment Pet Peeve
I can not stand it when people talk during a movie. I even get uptight during the previews.
Liturgical Pet Peeve
It bugs me that we expect parishioners to understand the flow of the liturgy but we do nothing to educate them. I learned what I know from Bible college. Many of my fellow students don't even see the need for it and yet I think it forces us to do what is needed. Worship isn't about performance its about connecting with God and the saints and how can you do this without first acknowledging him, our sins, our need for grace and so on?
Wild Card
I sat in a church service where there was a lot of whispering going on. During the sermon. During the congregational prayer. Parents were present. I do not understand this - I have never experienced this before. If the children were young or if the family had never been to church before I could understand it. I had to move in the end which was embarassing for me because I tried to ignore it but found it hard to really take in the sermon. Why would anyone do this? Do they realise that the preacher is very aware of what people are doing in the pews?
Bonus - what do I do that would be a pet peeve for others?
I'm afraid to mention all of the annoying things because if they hadn't been obvious they will be now:
I talk to myself while I work. I am sure that this has driven people crazy in the past. I do it especially when I am concentrating.
I tend to interupt people. Its not that I mean too, I just get too excited. I love sharing ideas - but I guess its not really sharing if you aren't listening to the other person.
I get into rants. Drives my husband crazy - we had an encounter in Sears with two salespeople offering assistance in selling us a bed. I was so put off that I ranted all the way out of the parking lot. My husband rarely rants. He just pronounces - "That's stupid." No commentary.
When I change seats during a sermon :)
Feast June 6th
Appetizer
When you drink soda/pop/coke, do you prefer to drink it from the bottle, a can, or after pouring it into a cup?
This is going to sound weird, at least I haven't found anyone else that experiences this.... I hate drinking from the bottle or the can or through a straw. I find the concentration of bubbles too breath taking. This is before my weight gain so its not related to being unhealthy, just a weird sensation that I can't catch my breath. So, I like my pop in a glass. I also think its cute but unnecessary when men want to pour my beer into a glass even though they are drinking from the bottle/can.
Soup
What television show are you willing to stay up late to watch?
I rarely tape shows so I either stay up or decide to miss them. There is no middle ground. There are a ton of shows I don't see very often and are hard to rent - Vicar of Dibley, Absolutely Fabulous - the British sitcoms with the better writing.
Salad
Name one person, place, or thing you think of as brilliant.
Right now I am really taken with the North York Public Library. I'm going to use it somewhere in a sermon. You can do almost anything there -take classes - they have one on building a skateboard, watch a movie, practice your english, learn to read, rent rooms. They have lots of info on careers and local history. Right now they are holding seminars for seniors. They have a far larger mandate then lending books - it is really a place for different community members to connect and find resources for daily living. I think that this is brilliant.
Main Course
Would you be willing to work 4 10-hour days instead of 5 8-hour days in order to save gas?
Absolutely, but then I would do it to get the extra day off!
Dessert
If you were a superhero, what would you call yourself?
So far I haven't found a reason to change my name.
When you drink soda/pop/coke, do you prefer to drink it from the bottle, a can, or after pouring it into a cup?
This is going to sound weird, at least I haven't found anyone else that experiences this.... I hate drinking from the bottle or the can or through a straw. I find the concentration of bubbles too breath taking. This is before my weight gain so its not related to being unhealthy, just a weird sensation that I can't catch my breath. So, I like my pop in a glass. I also think its cute but unnecessary when men want to pour my beer into a glass even though they are drinking from the bottle/can.
Soup
What television show are you willing to stay up late to watch?
I rarely tape shows so I either stay up or decide to miss them. There is no middle ground. There are a ton of shows I don't see very often and are hard to rent - Vicar of Dibley, Absolutely Fabulous - the British sitcoms with the better writing.
Salad
Name one person, place, or thing you think of as brilliant.
Right now I am really taken with the North York Public Library. I'm going to use it somewhere in a sermon. You can do almost anything there -take classes - they have one on building a skateboard, watch a movie, practice your english, learn to read, rent rooms. They have lots of info on careers and local history. Right now they are holding seminars for seniors. They have a far larger mandate then lending books - it is really a place for different community members to connect and find resources for daily living. I think that this is brilliant.
Main Course
Would you be willing to work 4 10-hour days instead of 5 8-hour days in order to save gas?
Absolutely, but then I would do it to get the extra day off!
Dessert
If you were a superhero, what would you call yourself?
So far I haven't found a reason to change my name.
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