Well, I took some "me time" and went looking for a low pair of black shoes. And I realized that now that I'm 40 there are no more surprises in the shoe market. Everything I saw I have seen before in some other year. Kitten heels - wore those when I was 19. Wedgies with ribbon laces - didn't wear them because I had taste back in the 80's. Mettalic - well I guess I lied about taste! I had a pair in high school that were like a burnished bronze. Pumps with pointed toes, pumps with square toes - been there, done that. Pumps with pieces of metal as accents - so 80's.
I love shoes. I'm always looking for the perfect pair. So to realise that there is nothing new under the sun is such a let down. It always used to be I saw a pair I loved that I couldn't afford, couldnt' walk in, couldn't fit into, didn't have anything to wear with them. Now its just that they are old news.
I did see a pair of patent leather flats with bows on the front - with square toes. They are very much like the white cotton pair I had back in the early 90's. But I'm 40. Can I really get away with patent leather bows? I'm so depressed......
Sunday, August 06, 2006
My first moving violation!
Yup, it happened - I got pulled over on my way to church. I've never been pulled over before and I was really nervous. The front plate on the WARTHOG fell off and I nagged Cliff twice but he never got around to putting it on.
What could I say - I told the officer it had been at least two weeks, that I'm not very handy with a screwdriver but that I understand its my responsibility. He gave me a ticket. When I first saw him I wondered if he had noticed the plate was missing and then I saw him looking down at his computer so I hoped that once the last name popped up I would just get a warning.
Anyhow, I'm happy to pay the 85 because it really is stupid that I play the dumb female rather than get on my hands and knees and figure out how to attach the thing. I am sure as heck not going to testify to my incompentency in court! However, Cliff has found an error - he is going to go swear it out at a JP to get is squashed and if that doesn't work he will take it to court with a picture of the plate and the receipt for the bolts. I told him that my name is registered on the car so he better follow through or else I'll just pay it!
The error? It says that I was stopped at Sheppard and Don Valley. Instead of Don Valley Parkway. I don't like fighting technicalities.
So we will see if my plates are denied next June because for those of you who know Cliff he is the king of procastination (even worse then me!).
What could I say - I told the officer it had been at least two weeks, that I'm not very handy with a screwdriver but that I understand its my responsibility. He gave me a ticket. When I first saw him I wondered if he had noticed the plate was missing and then I saw him looking down at his computer so I hoped that once the last name popped up I would just get a warning.
Anyhow, I'm happy to pay the 85 because it really is stupid that I play the dumb female rather than get on my hands and knees and figure out how to attach the thing. I am sure as heck not going to testify to my incompentency in court! However, Cliff has found an error - he is going to go swear it out at a JP to get is squashed and if that doesn't work he will take it to court with a picture of the plate and the receipt for the bolts. I told him that my name is registered on the car so he better follow through or else I'll just pay it!
The error? It says that I was stopped at Sheppard and Don Valley. Instead of Don Valley Parkway. I don't like fighting technicalities.
So we will see if my plates are denied next June because for those of you who know Cliff he is the king of procastination (even worse then me!).
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Fridays Feast 105
Friday, August 04, 2006
Feast One Hundred & Five
Appetizer
Name an actor or actress you think is totally underappreciated.
I couldn't name most actors if I tried. We were in Whole Paycheque (commonly known as Whole Foods) drooling at the vast selection of food I don't see anywhere else, and my friend pointed out Laurence Fishburne pondering over the bottled water just behind us. I tried to look impressed but I'm thinking - who is he? Politician, sports? Yes, I do now know who he is! I had to get past him - so I guess that was my brush with fame!
Soup
Impress us by using a big word in a sentence.
I find the differences of consubstantiation and transubtantiation difficult to grasp, but luckily I don't hold to eiher of them.
Salad
What is something inanimate that you've given a name to (such as a pet rock)?
I don't name my body parts, so luckily this is appropriate for family members to read! I had an acquaintance that named his penis. "Fred". I think there is something weird about that - I would have expected a nickname not a proper first name. But, hey, I'm not a guy.
I had a t-shirt that I loved that I called "Golden Boy" in reference to a Seinfeld episode. It at little holes in it and paint from a trip to the Dominican building a church but I still wore it. Why on earth I let it get subjected to the trials of a mission trip I don't know. Cliff knows that when I'm looking for Golden Boy exactly which t-shirt I mean.
Main Course
What color would best represent your personality and why?
The first colour that springs to mind is black. I have no idea why. I think its because its not as easy to pin down like pink or blue. When I think of black I think not just of sorrow or depression. I think of complexity, deepness, wholeness. Growing up purple was my favourite colour until I was about ten and then it was black.
Dessert
Fill in the blanks: ____________ is so ____________.
Life is so exciting!
Feast One Hundred & Five
Appetizer
Name an actor or actress you think is totally underappreciated.
I couldn't name most actors if I tried. We were in Whole Paycheque (commonly known as Whole Foods) drooling at the vast selection of food I don't see anywhere else, and my friend pointed out Laurence Fishburne pondering over the bottled water just behind us. I tried to look impressed but I'm thinking - who is he? Politician, sports? Yes, I do now know who he is! I had to get past him - so I guess that was my brush with fame!
Soup
Impress us by using a big word in a sentence.
I find the differences of consubstantiation and transubtantiation difficult to grasp, but luckily I don't hold to eiher of them.
Salad
What is something inanimate that you've given a name to (such as a pet rock)?
I don't name my body parts, so luckily this is appropriate for family members to read! I had an acquaintance that named his penis. "Fred". I think there is something weird about that - I would have expected a nickname not a proper first name. But, hey, I'm not a guy.
I had a t-shirt that I loved that I called "Golden Boy" in reference to a Seinfeld episode. It at little holes in it and paint from a trip to the Dominican building a church but I still wore it. Why on earth I let it get subjected to the trials of a mission trip I don't know. Cliff knows that when I'm looking for Golden Boy exactly which t-shirt I mean.
Main Course
What color would best represent your personality and why?
The first colour that springs to mind is black. I have no idea why. I think its because its not as easy to pin down like pink or blue. When I think of black I think not just of sorrow or depression. I think of complexity, deepness, wholeness. Growing up purple was my favourite colour until I was about ten and then it was black.
Dessert
Fill in the blanks: ____________ is so ____________.
Life is so exciting!
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Internship Update
Since shutting down my other blog - which was getting too personal even for my close friends - there is no where to get info on my internship. Admittedly, I am not above emailing a whole whack of people to tell them how it is going, but really if people want to know they will ask. So if you are one of the few that care he it is:
I did my first real sermon last week. Sermons are weird. If the congregation likes it you are as likely to have done a poor one as a good one. The sermons that some churches need to hear would really piss off the regulars. So don't read too much into the fact that I got very good feedback from my sermon. We are taught to give sermons that focus on the positive rather than the negative. I'm more of a fire and brimstone person so I really hate doing that. But this congregation is so perfect I was having a hard time imagining ever calling them to task. So I did one of warning. I think God would be satisfied with my attempt - its so hard to say.
Today I was supposed to do the children's message. There were only two children and neither of them looked old enough to understand my message on hope and neither looked to excited to come and sit up on the "stage" - I gotta find out the churchy name for it. So I led the congregation in prayer over them that children this young would not know despair for some time and therefore not need to long for hope. And I extended it out to the children who have grown old too fast. This is the other weird thing about leading worship. Something that is off the cuff and not planned out speaks to someone. The person leading worship today commented before the congregational prayer that my words really spoke to him and helped him. This is why you can't measure a sermon. The Holy Spirit helps people hear what they need. I have no idea how this person connected to what I said but luckily it is not all up to me.
So, I am having a good time. It is the perfect church which is supposed to be a myth. I have a friend who told me Living Hope in Peterborough is also a perfect church. So there are two out there. I have decided to prepare for seminary. I am taking Greek next year on the off chance I get a job in ministry and can go to Sem part time (the Greek will allow me to do that more easily).
Thanks for reading!
I did my first real sermon last week. Sermons are weird. If the congregation likes it you are as likely to have done a poor one as a good one. The sermons that some churches need to hear would really piss off the regulars. So don't read too much into the fact that I got very good feedback from my sermon. We are taught to give sermons that focus on the positive rather than the negative. I'm more of a fire and brimstone person so I really hate doing that. But this congregation is so perfect I was having a hard time imagining ever calling them to task. So I did one of warning. I think God would be satisfied with my attempt - its so hard to say.
Today I was supposed to do the children's message. There were only two children and neither of them looked old enough to understand my message on hope and neither looked to excited to come and sit up on the "stage" - I gotta find out the churchy name for it. So I led the congregation in prayer over them that children this young would not know despair for some time and therefore not need to long for hope. And I extended it out to the children who have grown old too fast. This is the other weird thing about leading worship. Something that is off the cuff and not planned out speaks to someone. The person leading worship today commented before the congregational prayer that my words really spoke to him and helped him. This is why you can't measure a sermon. The Holy Spirit helps people hear what they need. I have no idea how this person connected to what I said but luckily it is not all up to me.
So, I am having a good time. It is the perfect church which is supposed to be a myth. I have a friend who told me Living Hope in Peterborough is also a perfect church. So there are two out there. I have decided to prepare for seminary. I am taking Greek next year on the off chance I get a job in ministry and can go to Sem part time (the Greek will allow me to do that more easily).
Thanks for reading!
Rollercoaster
Tree Topper - Upper Clements Park
Wood
William Cobb Ride Stats
Height: 52 feet
Drop: 50 feet
Top speed: 35 mph
Length: 1,400 feet
Ride time: 1 minute, 15 seconds
Trains: 1 - 20 passenger
In the Friday's Feast I was supposed to talk about a new experience. Riding this roller coaster about 10 years ago was an experience I will never forget. Nor will the young child sitting behind me who learned new words they had never heard before.
I can't believe this is a 1 minute and 15 second ride. I can tell you that for the first 10 seconds or so I was mildly frightened. After that I was terrified.
I was in the second car with my brother in the front. At first I didn't scream. But once I started I couldn't stop. He actually turned to me at one point with his hair whipping in the wind to see if I was okay.
The ride operator was so nice! There wasn't a line up waiting to get on so he let us go again for free!. Then again. By the third time there was only one swear word that I hadn't used. The ride operator commented that "someone is sure having fun out there!". I though it would get easier with each ride but it got worse. I still occasionally scream when we drive over one of those small hills that give butterflies.
By the time we pulled in the third time I was begging to be let off. I apologized perfusely to the woman behind me. I felt really bad about the "Get me off this fnn thing!" comment. She didn't look offended only very amused.
I have never gone on one since. But when I go down to Nova Scotia and see it I have this urge to get on to prove that I can do it. Luckily my feet keep walking past!
Friday's Feast 104
Feast One-Hundred & Four
Appetizer: What's the funniest dream you can remember having?
I can't remember the funniest dream, but I often start laughing at my dreams waking myself up
Soup: If you were a dog, what breed would you be, and why?
I gotta say there is something enticing about being one of those tiny rat dogs that the stars are carrying around in their purses. I saw a squirrel being carried around in a lady's purse in Toronto - we are a far way from Hollywood. These dogs have it made - they don't have to walk to far, they get to wear fancy clothes and I'm pretty sure they are not eating ground up cow lungs for lunch. Not that I do either - I meant that's whats in dog food. I would also love to have a chance to bite one of these hands that feeds me!
Salad
Continue this sentence: "I get confused when..."
Apparently I live in the state of confusion when I watch T.V. I can't watch any of the James Bond movies because I never know what in the heck is going on. I saw Star Wars when it first came out and was confused the entire time. I don't think I would get it anymore today then I did then. All commercials confuse me - I don't pay enough attention so I'm never sure what they are for and I always ask Cliff what is going on.
Main Course: Name two things that need to be done, but you are procrastinating in completing.
I'll get to this later, after I clean my house.
Dessert: When was the last time you tried something new, and what was it?
I've tried lots of new things. I sang acappella in front of a Worship class (that's a whole separate story), I've gone back to school full time, I preached a sermon for the first time last week...
But the one that sticks out is a few years ago. My step-son was emphatic that I try out one of these little race tracks. I really, really didn't want to do it but he was so disappointed and nagging that I finally gave in. Hated every minute of it. Ooooh, that reminds me of another story about the roller coaster ride....
Appetizer: What's the funniest dream you can remember having?
I can't remember the funniest dream, but I often start laughing at my dreams waking myself up
Soup: If you were a dog, what breed would you be, and why?
I gotta say there is something enticing about being one of those tiny rat dogs that the stars are carrying around in their purses. I saw a squirrel being carried around in a lady's purse in Toronto - we are a far way from Hollywood. These dogs have it made - they don't have to walk to far, they get to wear fancy clothes and I'm pretty sure they are not eating ground up cow lungs for lunch. Not that I do either - I meant that's whats in dog food. I would also love to have a chance to bite one of these hands that feeds me!
Salad
Continue this sentence: "I get confused when..."
Apparently I live in the state of confusion when I watch T.V. I can't watch any of the James Bond movies because I never know what in the heck is going on. I saw Star Wars when it first came out and was confused the entire time. I don't think I would get it anymore today then I did then. All commercials confuse me - I don't pay enough attention so I'm never sure what they are for and I always ask Cliff what is going on.
Main Course: Name two things that need to be done, but you are procrastinating in completing.
I'll get to this later, after I clean my house.
Dessert: When was the last time you tried something new, and what was it?
I've tried lots of new things. I sang acappella in front of a Worship class (that's a whole separate story), I've gone back to school full time, I preached a sermon for the first time last week...
But the one that sticks out is a few years ago. My step-son was emphatic that I try out one of these little race tracks. I really, really didn't want to do it but he was so disappointed and nagging that I finally gave in. Hated every minute of it. Ooooh, that reminds me of another story about the roller coaster ride....
Friday, July 21, 2006
Friday Feast
Each Friday there is a blog where you can pick up random questions to answer - here they are for this Friday:
Friday, July 21, 2006
Feast One Hundred and Three
Appetizer
Fill in the blanks: I ____________ when I _____________.
I get road rage when I'm honked at. Not for a gentle honk but for a bullying honk. No one tells me how to drive!
Soup
Name something you use to make your home smell good.
Define "smell good". If I smell dinner cooking when I get in the door that smells mighty fine to me! I have been known to throw some cinnamon sticks into a pot of sugar and water to make the house smell Christmassy.
Salad
If you could receive a coupon in the mail for 50% off any product, what would you want it to be for?
A car of course!
Main Course
Besides sleeping, what do you spend the majority of the hours of your typical day doing?
Breathing. I try to do it at least every hour.
Dessert
What can you hear right now while answering these questions?
Traffic on the 401. - There's about 16 lanes of traffic right outside my backyard. We have a barrier and our yard is actually about 8 feet above the highway. I keep telling people that they should put a warning sign up on the housing side of the fence as a reminder that there is a highway and a drop off over the fence but everyone laughs. My friend wasn't laughing when she launched her son's toy airplane right over the fence! He wasn't either. Apparently there were no screeching tires to be heard.
We have always hoped that we would have the courage to launch our cats over the fence when they die. Have you seen the vet bills for disposal of a cat?
This also gives Cliff lots to do - there is a major crash out there at least once a year. One time he was able to climb up onto our shed to see if anyone needed help. There are tons of small crashes too - Cliff wakes up and gets on the phone. I roll over and go back to sleep! Everyone has a cell phone nowadays!
Friday, July 21, 2006
Feast One Hundred and Three
Appetizer
Fill in the blanks: I ____________ when I _____________.
I get road rage when I'm honked at. Not for a gentle honk but for a bullying honk. No one tells me how to drive!
Soup
Name something you use to make your home smell good.
Define "smell good". If I smell dinner cooking when I get in the door that smells mighty fine to me! I have been known to throw some cinnamon sticks into a pot of sugar and water to make the house smell Christmassy.
Salad
If you could receive a coupon in the mail for 50% off any product, what would you want it to be for?
A car of course!
Main Course
Besides sleeping, what do you spend the majority of the hours of your typical day doing?
Breathing. I try to do it at least every hour.
Dessert
What can you hear right now while answering these questions?
Traffic on the 401. - There's about 16 lanes of traffic right outside my backyard. We have a barrier and our yard is actually about 8 feet above the highway. I keep telling people that they should put a warning sign up on the housing side of the fence as a reminder that there is a highway and a drop off over the fence but everyone laughs. My friend wasn't laughing when she launched her son's toy airplane right over the fence! He wasn't either. Apparently there were no screeching tires to be heard.
We have always hoped that we would have the courage to launch our cats over the fence when they die. Have you seen the vet bills for disposal of a cat?
This also gives Cliff lots to do - there is a major crash out there at least once a year. One time he was able to climb up onto our shed to see if anyone needed help. There are tons of small crashes too - Cliff wakes up and gets on the phone. I roll over and go back to sleep! Everyone has a cell phone nowadays!
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Internship - Am I a Jew?
I'm writing my sermon for Sunday. Well, I have written the first draft and am procastinating. First I was going to do it this afternoon. Then this evening. Now tomorrow afternoon.
There are things I was supposed to know that I don't. I guess that now that I'm an intern now is the time to ask - before it gets really embarassing.
Part of my sermon talks about the Israelites (Jews) who were God's chosen and how through Christ the Gentiles were invited to join - both were united in one family. What bothers me is the theme that I keep hearing at Tyndale and church is that "we are the Gentiles who have been invited by Christ". Why do we assume that? Maybe I am a descendent of the church where Jews and Gentiles came together to form one united body. Maybe my family traces back to Judaism. I don't understand the assumption - yet I get the idea I am supposed to understand this assumption.
Isn't it weird how you can be doing something that you've always done and suddenly you get the feeling that you aren't doing it right? I used to have this at work. My friend Lesley would get the call - "Hey, I'm using this method to calculate this and I don't think I've ever done right!".
All I know for sure is that I am taking a handkerchief up with me. I led the service last week and was sweating so much! The Pastor was in a golf shirt and was still too hot. I had visions of my first foray into preaching in my new preaching shoes (feminine yet not fussy, low heel, no nonsense) and a jacket. Ain't gonna happen!
There are things I was supposed to know that I don't. I guess that now that I'm an intern now is the time to ask - before it gets really embarassing.
Part of my sermon talks about the Israelites (Jews) who were God's chosen and how through Christ the Gentiles were invited to join - both were united in one family. What bothers me is the theme that I keep hearing at Tyndale and church is that "we are the Gentiles who have been invited by Christ". Why do we assume that? Maybe I am a descendent of the church where Jews and Gentiles came together to form one united body. Maybe my family traces back to Judaism. I don't understand the assumption - yet I get the idea I am supposed to understand this assumption.
Isn't it weird how you can be doing something that you've always done and suddenly you get the feeling that you aren't doing it right? I used to have this at work. My friend Lesley would get the call - "Hey, I'm using this method to calculate this and I don't think I've ever done right!".
All I know for sure is that I am taking a handkerchief up with me. I led the service last week and was sweating so much! The Pastor was in a golf shirt and was still too hot. I had visions of my first foray into preaching in my new preaching shoes (feminine yet not fussy, low heel, no nonsense) and a jacket. Ain't gonna happen!
PAP Smear
I titled this one for those with any amount of decorum to stay away.
The yearly PAP smear is a pain in the ass.
I went to a new doctor this time. My other doctor has too many patients, keeps a filthy office and has never been able to do the PAP efficiently. I usually end up having to go to a gyne/obs guy.
I hate going to the gyne/obs because of all those pregnant women. I can't explain it but I used to really be freaked out by pregnant women. I'm getting over it. Since becoming a Christian I have a whole different feeling about having children. But at the time it was really freaking me out. Pregnancy looks uncomfortable. Women have that weird waddling way of walking. The clothes are somewhat better than what you find in large sizes but are always cheaply made as if they will disintegrate at 9 months. I spent a lot of years ensuring I didn't get pregnant - sitting with the reproducing folks just gets me anxious.
The gyne guy was great. He didn't know why my own doctor had troubles - it took me longer to dress and undress than for him to do the exam.
My doctor later admitted that her speculum isn't long enough. So she sends me to a specialist 'cause he's got longer ones.
See, I'm a practial person. Just give me the freakin' catalogue and I'll order my own. I'll even let you use it on other people as long as it remains in the office.
So, in an effort to find a doctor with a clean office, who wouldn't continually forget to put things in my file and hopefully had a greater range of speculums, I changed to a very nice, quiet man. His receptionist comes in during the procedure - I figure why not. If its that interesting maybe we should broadcast it live to the waiting room.
Ah, but my gentle friend as the same difficulties. A lot of fiddling going on down there. I'm a visual person so all I can imagine is what is the problem? During some counselling sessions my therapist had me imagine a vacuum inside my centre to suck up all kinds of things and then put them in these containers. Suddenly, the image of these containers impeding his progress comes to mind. Then my mind drifts to treasure chests. The whole time he is very quietly saying "does it hurt?". I notice that he knows damn well that it hurt because he only says it after he has hurt me.
Anyhow, he got what he wanted. Typical. He was very apologetic and assured me that he is sure that I won't have to go back to the gyne. I thanked him. He said "My pleasure..." he stopped realising that that really isn't what you say. Not unless you are offering me a cigarette.
That was yesterday and today was the dentist. More poking and probing. Overall, the internal was a less nerve wracking experience. I hate it when the hygenist doesn't say "please" - all this "Open, wider", "Turn", "Close". I tried to explain this to a dentist who asked what made me anxious. Once you lay down in that chair you have really lost any control in the relationship. There are cutting instruments being used and I'm tilted into a chair. Its not like I can suddenly make a run for it.
The yearly PAP smear is a pain in the ass.
I went to a new doctor this time. My other doctor has too many patients, keeps a filthy office and has never been able to do the PAP efficiently. I usually end up having to go to a gyne/obs guy.
I hate going to the gyne/obs because of all those pregnant women. I can't explain it but I used to really be freaked out by pregnant women. I'm getting over it. Since becoming a Christian I have a whole different feeling about having children. But at the time it was really freaking me out. Pregnancy looks uncomfortable. Women have that weird waddling way of walking. The clothes are somewhat better than what you find in large sizes but are always cheaply made as if they will disintegrate at 9 months. I spent a lot of years ensuring I didn't get pregnant - sitting with the reproducing folks just gets me anxious.
The gyne guy was great. He didn't know why my own doctor had troubles - it took me longer to dress and undress than for him to do the exam.
My doctor later admitted that her speculum isn't long enough. So she sends me to a specialist 'cause he's got longer ones.
See, I'm a practial person. Just give me the freakin' catalogue and I'll order my own. I'll even let you use it on other people as long as it remains in the office.
So, in an effort to find a doctor with a clean office, who wouldn't continually forget to put things in my file and hopefully had a greater range of speculums, I changed to a very nice, quiet man. His receptionist comes in during the procedure - I figure why not. If its that interesting maybe we should broadcast it live to the waiting room.
Ah, but my gentle friend as the same difficulties. A lot of fiddling going on down there. I'm a visual person so all I can imagine is what is the problem? During some counselling sessions my therapist had me imagine a vacuum inside my centre to suck up all kinds of things and then put them in these containers. Suddenly, the image of these containers impeding his progress comes to mind. Then my mind drifts to treasure chests. The whole time he is very quietly saying "does it hurt?". I notice that he knows damn well that it hurt because he only says it after he has hurt me.
Anyhow, he got what he wanted. Typical. He was very apologetic and assured me that he is sure that I won't have to go back to the gyne. I thanked him. He said "My pleasure..." he stopped realising that that really isn't what you say. Not unless you are offering me a cigarette.
That was yesterday and today was the dentist. More poking and probing. Overall, the internal was a less nerve wracking experience. I hate it when the hygenist doesn't say "please" - all this "Open, wider", "Turn", "Close". I tried to explain this to a dentist who asked what made me anxious. Once you lay down in that chair you have really lost any control in the relationship. There are cutting instruments being used and I'm tilted into a chair. Its not like I can suddenly make a run for it.
When Coffee isn't Coffee
http://www.christianitytoday.com/leaders/newsletter/2006/cln60717.html
I'm a Seinfeld fan. Do you remember when George was asked up for a coffee and he refused? He had to get up in the morning. Later he exclaims "coffee wasn't coffee".
The above article is written by a guru in church circles. A lot of what he has to say is compelling. But when you invite someone for coffee - it should just be coffee - unless its sex.
These are the rules that normally people live by. And I now realise that this trick of inviting me to coffee because I think you just want to chat with me but really you want me to do something for you (yeah, yeah, I know its for God) has been implemented on me. Next time my church pulls this stunt, I'm gonna look the Pastor straight in the eye and say "if this ain't about coffee it better be about sex". That oughta free up my coffee schedule for people who want to talk to me and not sell me something.
Here's an idea. If you want someone to volunteer - just bloodly well ask them. Don't waste my time. There's a great bumper sticker out there - "As an atheist I don't have a problem with God, its his fan club I can't stand".
Rest assured, coffee with me is coffee. If it ain't I always tell you ahead of time.
I'm a Seinfeld fan. Do you remember when George was asked up for a coffee and he refused? He had to get up in the morning. Later he exclaims "coffee wasn't coffee".
The above article is written by a guru in church circles. A lot of what he has to say is compelling. But when you invite someone for coffee - it should just be coffee - unless its sex.
These are the rules that normally people live by. And I now realise that this trick of inviting me to coffee because I think you just want to chat with me but really you want me to do something for you (yeah, yeah, I know its for God) has been implemented on me. Next time my church pulls this stunt, I'm gonna look the Pastor straight in the eye and say "if this ain't about coffee it better be about sex". That oughta free up my coffee schedule for people who want to talk to me and not sell me something.
Here's an idea. If you want someone to volunteer - just bloodly well ask them. Don't waste my time. There's a great bumper sticker out there - "As an atheist I don't have a problem with God, its his fan club I can't stand".
Rest assured, coffee with me is coffee. If it ain't I always tell you ahead of time.
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