Country Standards Or....

I saw something today I didn’t think I would ever see again. Not since my youth. A young girl, very pregnant smoking a cigarette. I’m usually not a health fanatic but I couldn’t stop thinking about what that must be doing to the baby. I would be too embarrassed to do it at the library entrance – geez, at least go sneak off and have it out of sight for my own conscience!

Dark Days in Monkey City

Dark Days in Monkey City




Yup, I lost a husband but gained Bell TV. I can now see crap in two official languages and news from 4 cities. If that doesn’t satisfy I can watch shows with names like “Dark Days in Monkey City”. I was curious enough to look at it. The narrator has a bit of a Brit accent and adds excitement to the show by exaggerating the narrating. Look Out – There’s a Python!!! Dark Days indeed.



I didn’t have the heart to watch “I Didn’t Even Know I was Pregnant”.

Neighbourhood

Neighbourhood




Its weird how sensitive I am to surroundings. I felt a bit uncomfortable here the first few days because the neighbourhood is such a mixture of house styles and economics. I’m used to the military bases where there are basic housing types and they are clustered together. Golden Row for instance was the name of one of the housing areas for senior officers on one of the bases I was on. On another base I remember the housing for Majors and up had huge kitchens. It was assumed you would need them for entertaining.



In the city most areas are homogeneous. Areas are rich or poor, old or new. You get a feel for an area – perhaps in a stereotypical way. Here there is a gorgeous house with a new front porch next to an old house that seems to be on its last legs. Yet the town is laid our in N-S, E-W with each lot the same side. There are a few buildings which are obviously public housing (why can’t we put a bit more money into them so they don’t scream out that people need help?).



The manse (parsonage) tells a story too. The garage has seen better days and the neat stone work on the front is coming out in places. But the windows are new and there is a semi garden planted – perennials. It says the essentials are there but there is not enough money or care to put into the niceties.



I love the picture window – there are 3 lots on the two streets across from me that are empty. I can see people coming and going to the store and other places. Its actually quite a busy place. I’m getting to be a snoop!

I'm Here

Saturday, June 12th 9:47 a.m.



I made it here in one piece. Cliff is dead to the world – it was a long drive and I was sick of it before we even got to North Bay. I think it was the heat and the sun that put me off. That and getting to bed late and packing became a bit of throwing stuff into boxes and bags and some of it loose into the trunk!



Once we hit North Bay I was considerably improved and now that I have finished my sermon for tomorrow I’m feeling a bit more stable. Now to find a printer somewhere! I wonder how they feel about a laptop on the pulpit? I have a feeling I know. And I need to find email to email out the liturgy. One option is the local arena – it has WiFi – I’m hoping I can just do it from my car.



I was incredibly nervous and out of sorts yesterday but I feel better today. I hear there is a potluck tomorrow to welcome me. How weird. I’m used to going to them to welcome other people but never for myself.

Small Town Secrets

Everyone wants to know if I am visiting the star attraction when I get to my country home. The polar bears. Everyone has heard about the great polar bears and the exhibit in which you can swim with the polar bears!

I knew that I would have no problems adjusting my natural sense of humour for my roommate when we discussed this local attraction.

As she said: "If you want to go visit an old polar bear with no teeth its great. He's so old they have to prop his mouth open and use a pole to shove the watermelon in".

I have no idea if anyone else in town is selling out this secret. The town is filled with little polar bear souvenirs - statues, t-shirts erasers. She is also from away so perhaps that is why she feel free to share the secret of the money making decrepit polar bear.

I have also been warned that every town in the area claims Tim Horton as their son. Thankfully I was not too excited about the link so I'm not disappointed.

In 8 weeks time I expect I will know many secrets that can't be repeated here! I just hope that a few of them are as funny as the polar bear!

No! No! Not Magic!

You may know that I have a thing about clowns. Can't stand them and frankly I'm a little afraid of them. Mimes too. Add to the list magic. Can't stand magic shows. Mostly because I know its fake so what's the point? Not only is it fake it is something that is learned - the best magic is a new trick that no one has ever thought of and then once its been performed its old news. I also can't stand the gets up and the theatrics. Doug Henning - say no more.

So while perusing Ship of Fools website I was startled to see a "magic" bible that produces fire when you open it. I traced it to a magic site that has all kinds of Gospel magic for witnessing. Silk scarves, rope tricks - books on how to tell the Gospel with any items the audience has on hand. Yuck. My favourite - 3 card monte -with 2 cards with Christ's face and one of a 100 dollar bill - the trick is to choose money but of course the value is in choosing Christ. Yuck!

Whether it is my healthy secular glasses or my postmodern mind I can't help but think how very wrong it is to use tricks to sell Jesus. There is already a suspiscion that witnessing is a trick to take money or common sense away from non-Christians so why mix the two? I feel a rant coming on...sort of like my feeling about fake greenery and flowers near the pulpit....

Surprise Birthday

What a surprise I got yesterday - a friend had called me up to go for fish and chips and I was looking forward to seeing her all week. When we got close by we parked and walked in a totally different direction as she told me we were going to another friend's condo to have a party in the back garden.

Lovely! A good friend from Simcoe was able to join the group and it was truly a surprise a my birthday is still a few weeks away. But I will be away then. My wonderful husband planned the whole thing in a week over the email!

Not only was their great food and friends I got a box of donations to get me settled up north. Bath stuff, office supplies, pictures of friends and snacks! To top it off the lilac bushes were in full bloom making the garden complete.

I truly am blessed and will miss everyone terribly!

One thing was left out....

It seemed simple enough - drive for 9 hours to a town, stay a few nights, meet the consistory, preach a sermon.

After lunch I was shown one of the bulletins with the liturgy laid out. It looked pretty traditional - a little more traditional then I expected from this "informal church". I had the sermon almost ready - I had the details but was struggling to get it to flow just right. But I had time after lunch to take a nap and get it working for the next day. Then the organist said "I'll just need the hymn numbers from you".

What on earth was she talking about - I wasn't asked to pick hymns. I casually asked - "Oh, does the pastor generally pick the hymns?". Then I casually asked for the hymnal and felt completed overwhelmed trying to even think of a hymn as I looked at the layout - one for opening worship, response to confession, response t sermon...Oh My! I need five of 'em.

As casually as I could, I asked - does the pastor write out the liturgy. "Oh, yes".

I figure out the hymns, write them down and get going. I figure out what I need to phone into the person who actual types up the liturgy and spend more time figuring out the prayers and such for the service.

I love writing the whole service - I just like to know before hand. I assure the typist that in the future she will have all work in to her on Thursdays.

I'm relieved that I have proven I can do this!

New Preacher in Town

Phew, its been a whirlwind. A few weeks ago someone was kind enough to forward an email to me of a church looking for a student pastor for the summer in my denomination. An email to a relative, a phone call from the elder's wife, and a quick 9 hour trip to preach a sermon and suddenly I'm the student pastor for at least 7 weeks. They would love me to stay longer - I'm just not sure I can do more than that without going crazy.

June 13th is my first sermon of the summer. I have a ton to do - I need to find some commentaries I can borrow to fill out the few that I have, figure out what other books/resources I should take and get some stuff in Toronto cleaned up before I go.

So far preaching and leading worship seems like the top duty - I have offered to do pastoral care and to network with other churches and to leave the door open for anything that they would want done that I can do in the summer.

Its a huge change - sharing a home with another person (I've never had a roommate), living in a fishbowl and leading a church. Not to mention that I may need to rely on the library and the local arena for my internet - the arena has wireless capability. The internet will be essential for C and I to keep in contact - I think we have only ever been apart for a few weeks.

I already have plans in the works to visit a farm one of the parishioners owns. I've seen farms and I've smelled farms but never actually been on one.

So I guess there will be lots to blog about.

Enough bitching!!

I'm working on my Hebrew - well I'm supposed to be and was listening to the Pirate Radio while doing so. They were giving rewards for the three worst Easter sermons this year. I only heard the third - yes it was pretty bad. They kept saying "this is why you don't let young men preach". The one that I heard was the best of the two - I can't image the other two. These are small churches who can't afford a preacher - these are big churches. But while I'm listening I appreciate the snide comments on one hand but realize that this is really a guilty pleasure. And its really not feeling like a pleasure because I know its really not right. Now I've done my share of bitching lately about bad preaching. And I really have a low tolerance for poor worship planning. But I don't want to end up being so snarky about it either. I think part of my frustration is this place I'm in where I get validation when I preach but I certainly don't have any denominational support to move ahead to ordination. I feel that each time I preach in a new place I have to "prove" something which annoys me because it can get in the way of my preparation if I let it.

So on Easter Sunday I preached what I knew they need to hear and balanced it with the easy, joyful message they expected and wanted. Easter to me isn't as simple as preaching He is Arisen! Because its only part of the story - without Pentecost his arising is a great thing for us to marvel about - but we are really only spectators with a great role model and lots of teaching to try to follow. With the Holy Spirit we are new people! Its always hard to know - do you preach to those who know their faith inside and out - who have great expectations of what they would like to hear or do you preach to the ones that come to church but haven't figured it all out? The more I meet with churched people the more I find that haven't found the true joy - they know that it is a joyful day because they have been told - but that joy has been elusive and they have been settling for what others seem to have. I'm glad I did what I thought was needed rather than what was wanted. If my style and discernment is not suitable then it is best they find someone else.

It seemed appreciated - some people who have grown up in Christian homes liked the new perspective on why Easter can be so important to one group and totally ignored (well except for chocolate bunnies and egg hunts) by the rest.

I have not idea who I will ever preach with full time. Maybe it is ultimately not in God's plan.