Where Have I Been!

Boy! Its been a while since I posted. I have been going through this angst over looking at new churches. For a lot of people it would sound like this would be as easy as changing your grocery store. Its more like a divorce. I want a trial separation where I come in and out of my home church while I try to see if there is something else out there that I fit into better. Leaving me feeling very guilty. Did I try hard enough, can I overlook some of the missing parts of the relationship - can I go elsewhere to pick up what I'm missing? Lots of people do that last thing. You go to church on Sunday and the rest of the week you spend time in your other worlds. Your friends are outside of the church, you volunteer outside of the church, your recreation is outside, your mentors are outside. But I'm not wired like that - I believe the local church is the only hope for the world. How can I faithfully attend without friends, activities, mentors?

So, while you all are shaking your head saying "Leave already!" its a bit harder than that. Then how will I know when I am in the right church? I've been married too long to go back to the dating scene. That whole "a second date looks good" to the final, inevitable "what was I thinking!"

I went to a good church on the weekend. Small, committed, diverse. But they need parishioners who can put in some time and I just don't have any to give this year - I am stressed by the amount of stuff on my plate already. Last year I was looking exactly for a church like this where I could get really involved and make a difference. This year I just want a place to crash on Sunday. Which means my home church suddenly became perfect - I can hear some of you grinding your teeth!

Anyhow, this has consumed all of my worry time. So I haven't had anything funny to write. Not that I ever did before!

Stressed - Shopping for the differently abled.

Boy, am I stressed and unless I'm stressed to the point of insanity I'm just not funny. I'm in the middle of letting my church know that I'm not happy and am planning to find another church and my job at the other church is picking up at break neck speed. Spent my morning arguing with a guy about a room booking. All part of the process to saving souls I guess.

If I do start heading out to other churches to see what's out there I think there will be tons of material for future blogs! Maybe a whole blog based on those experiences.

I do have a story about a grocery store. I was in Dominion at Don Mills Centre. Because the mall itself is closed down most of the grocery store patrons are from across the street - which are mostly seniors' buildings.

It didn't take me very many aisles to realise that I was the most fit and able bodied person in the room. Very sad. Walker, wheel chairs, canes. Every aisle had someone needing help reaching, hearing or reading. Unfortunately, I like to stop and help people. I quickly realised that this is not the grocery store to go to if I am in a rush because there are just too many people needing help! Just listening to one deaf old woman try to put in an order on a personalized birthday cake was enough to make me want to jab my eyes out with a rusty nail. Even the people who didn't have obvious impediments obviously had impediments if you know what I mean.

Friday's Feast - August 11

Appetizer
Tell about a toy you remember from your childhood.

The Fisher Price Castle. Complete with drawbridge, thrones, royal family, dungeon and secret doors. Oh yeah, it also had a carriage and horses. I loved it. I also love my Miss America dress up set that I got when I turned 7. I carefully put it on walked around the room in it and then took it off - it was too good to play with. My toys were in pristine condition! As a matter of fact back when I was about 5 or 6 the Barbie Camper was all the rage. Just the perfect accessory for Suntan Barbie. We lived on Vancouver Island and the toy was sold out. One of the ladies on the street went over to the mainland with 4 orders for campers for kids in the neighbourhood - mine was the only one still in one piece months after Christmas.

Soup
If you could make one thing in the world absolutely free for everyone, what would it be?

Medications. Even in Canada there are people who can not afford medications. Especially for children.


Salad
Approximately how many times per day do you think about your significant other?

I'm not even sure. He comes across my mind a lot. Not always for good reasons - see my moving violation entry.


Main Course
What is something you believe in 100%?

Too easy. Jesus Christ as God's plan for redeeming the world.



Dessert
Name one thing you have done this week that you would consider a "good deed."

Set up! After the answer above I'm going to look like a typical hypocritical Christian if I have nothing to answer. Hmm. I'm looking into getting the pastor that has been taking care of my internship a ticket to a conference on the Arts. Its a gift rather than a deed but I am going to trouble to do it - maybe that counts. And I picked up three ballet outfits from a store for three little girls that I know would love them - they weren't expensive but I think that counts. And I've got some donations of paper and binders for our Food Bank for back to school. Everything I do seems to be around money! I do a lot of babysitting for my friend but wasn't need last week!

See what counselling can do!

You've got read Mookies Last Hope. See my brother is me without counselling. He is a helluva lot funnier and can go into a rant over the most assinine things. I highly respect this. I used to be able to rant - I actually took on security at Pearson one time and had 50 people following my lead. That was of course pre 911 - and counselling.

I was in Zeller's today. Yeah, I know its a Sunday and I'm not supposed to but well, I needed hanging file folders. Which I haven't actually done anything with yet so "need" is overstated.

Anyhow, I get in line and there is confusion at one of the cashes. The register is not working. Come on - the register works its the operator. There are two clerks playing with it and people are getting frustrated because the other cash is going through some kind of bizarre return or something.

Well this chick who is off duty starts yacking it up with one of the clerks trying to fix the machine. Now I know that logically it probably isn't going to make a difference in the long run if she stands and chats but it really pisses me off. Like "HELLO - I'M THE CUSTOMER YOU SHOULD BE PAYING ATTENTION TO". Before counselling I would have already told the two of them that I don't particularly care what movie they are going to go see and if you are off duty then get your ass out of the way or help fix the problem. But see, I'm a kinder, gentler person now. I think about telling these two to get it together but I don't.

The other day Cliff and I were eating in Zellers (yeah, my age is showing but I defy you to find a better burger and fries) and a chick off duty is standing talking to one of the servers. With a freakin' Teen Burger from A&W in her hand! Meanwhile bud with his 4 year old is waiting to place his order. My skin crawls when I see that kinda stuff going on.

But this is progress for me. I should be happy that I didn't say anything. Its none of my business and its not up to me to fix the world. Grrrr.

There are no new shoe styles after 39!

Well, I took some "me time" and went looking for a low pair of black shoes. And I realized that now that I'm 40 there are no more surprises in the shoe market. Everything I saw I have seen before in some other year. Kitten heels - wore those when I was 19. Wedgies with ribbon laces - didn't wear them because I had taste back in the 80's. Mettalic - well I guess I lied about taste! I had a pair in high school that were like a burnished bronze. Pumps with pointed toes, pumps with square toes - been there, done that. Pumps with pieces of metal as accents - so 80's.

I love shoes. I'm always looking for the perfect pair. So to realise that there is nothing new under the sun is such a let down. It always used to be I saw a pair I loved that I couldn't afford, couldnt' walk in, couldn't fit into, didn't have anything to wear with them. Now its just that they are old news.

I did see a pair of patent leather flats with bows on the front - with square toes. They are very much like the white cotton pair I had back in the early 90's. But I'm 40. Can I really get away with patent leather bows? I'm so depressed......

My first moving violation!

Yup, it happened - I got pulled over on my way to church. I've never been pulled over before and I was really nervous. The front plate on the WARTHOG fell off and I nagged Cliff twice but he never got around to putting it on.

What could I say - I told the officer it had been at least two weeks, that I'm not very handy with a screwdriver but that I understand its my responsibility. He gave me a ticket. When I first saw him I wondered if he had noticed the plate was missing and then I saw him looking down at his computer so I hoped that once the last name popped up I would just get a warning.

Anyhow, I'm happy to pay the 85 because it really is stupid that I play the dumb female rather than get on my hands and knees and figure out how to attach the thing. I am sure as heck not going to testify to my incompentency in court! However, Cliff has found an error - he is going to go swear it out at a JP to get is squashed and if that doesn't work he will take it to court with a picture of the plate and the receipt for the bolts. I told him that my name is registered on the car so he better follow through or else I'll just pay it!

The error? It says that I was stopped at Sheppard and Don Valley. Instead of Don Valley Parkway. I don't like fighting technicalities.

So we will see if my plates are denied next June because for those of you who know Cliff he is the king of procastination (even worse then me!).

Fridays Feast 105

Friday, August 04, 2006
Feast One Hundred & Five
Appetizer
Name an actor or actress you think is totally underappreciated.

I couldn't name most actors if I tried. We were in Whole Paycheque (commonly known as Whole Foods) drooling at the vast selection of food I don't see anywhere else, and my friend pointed out Laurence Fishburne pondering over the bottled water just behind us. I tried to look impressed but I'm thinking - who is he? Politician, sports? Yes, I do now know who he is! I had to get past him - so I guess that was my brush with fame!

Soup
Impress us by using a big word in a sentence.

I find the differences of consubstantiation and transubtantiation difficult to grasp, but luckily I don't hold to eiher of them.

Salad
What is something inanimate that you've given a name to (such as a pet rock)?

I don't name my body parts, so luckily this is appropriate for family members to read! I had an acquaintance that named his penis. "Fred". I think there is something weird about that - I would have expected a nickname not a proper first name. But, hey, I'm not a guy.

I had a t-shirt that I loved that I called "Golden Boy" in reference to a Seinfeld episode. It at little holes in it and paint from a trip to the Dominican building a church but I still wore it. Why on earth I let it get subjected to the trials of a mission trip I don't know. Cliff knows that when I'm looking for Golden Boy exactly which t-shirt I mean.


Main Course
What color would best represent your personality and why?

The first colour that springs to mind is black. I have no idea why. I think its because its not as easy to pin down like pink or blue. When I think of black I think not just of sorrow or depression. I think of complexity, deepness, wholeness. Growing up purple was my favourite colour until I was about ten and then it was black.


Dessert
Fill in the blanks: ____________ is so ____________.

Life is so exciting!

Internship Update

Since shutting down my other blog - which was getting too personal even for my close friends - there is no where to get info on my internship. Admittedly, I am not above emailing a whole whack of people to tell them how it is going, but really if people want to know they will ask. So if you are one of the few that care he it is:

I did my first real sermon last week. Sermons are weird. If the congregation likes it you are as likely to have done a poor one as a good one. The sermons that some churches need to hear would really piss off the regulars. So don't read too much into the fact that I got very good feedback from my sermon. We are taught to give sermons that focus on the positive rather than the negative. I'm more of a fire and brimstone person so I really hate doing that. But this congregation is so perfect I was having a hard time imagining ever calling them to task. So I did one of warning. I think God would be satisfied with my attempt - its so hard to say.

Today I was supposed to do the children's message. There were only two children and neither of them looked old enough to understand my message on hope and neither looked to excited to come and sit up on the "stage" - I gotta find out the churchy name for it. So I led the congregation in prayer over them that children this young would not know despair for some time and therefore not need to long for hope. And I extended it out to the children who have grown old too fast. This is the other weird thing about leading worship. Something that is off the cuff and not planned out speaks to someone. The person leading worship today commented before the congregational prayer that my words really spoke to him and helped him. This is why you can't measure a sermon. The Holy Spirit helps people hear what they need. I have no idea how this person connected to what I said but luckily it is not all up to me.

So, I am having a good time. It is the perfect church which is supposed to be a myth. I have a friend who told me Living Hope in Peterborough is also a perfect church. So there are two out there. I have decided to prepare for seminary. I am taking Greek next year on the off chance I get a job in ministry and can go to Sem part time (the Greek will allow me to do that more easily).

Thanks for reading!

Rollercoaster

Tree Topper - Upper Clements Park
Wood
William Cobb Ride Stats
Height: 52 feet
Drop: 50 feet
Top speed: 35 mph
Length: 1,400 feet
Ride time: 1 minute, 15 seconds
Trains: 1 - 20 passenger

In the Friday's Feast I was supposed to talk about a new experience. Riding this roller coaster about 10 years ago was an experience I will never forget. Nor will the young child sitting behind me who learned new words they had never heard before.

I can't believe this is a 1 minute and 15 second ride. I can tell you that for the first 10 seconds or so I was mildly frightened. After that I was terrified.

I was in the second car with my brother in the front. At first I didn't scream. But once I started I couldn't stop. He actually turned to me at one point with his hair whipping in the wind to see if I was okay.

The ride operator was so nice! There wasn't a line up waiting to get on so he let us go again for free!. Then again. By the third time there was only one swear word that I hadn't used. The ride operator commented that "someone is sure having fun out there!". I though it would get easier with each ride but it got worse. I still occasionally scream when we drive over one of those small hills that give butterflies.

By the time we pulled in the third time I was begging to be let off. I apologized perfusely to the woman behind me. I felt really bad about the "Get me off this fnn thing!" comment. She didn't look offended only very amused.

I have never gone on one since. But when I go down to Nova Scotia and see it I have this urge to get on to prove that I can do it. Luckily my feet keep walking past!

Friday's Feast 104

Feast One-Hundred & Four

Appetizer: What's the funniest dream you can remember having?

I can't remember the funniest dream, but I often start laughing at my dreams waking myself up


Soup: If you were a dog, what breed would you be, and why?

I gotta say there is something enticing about being one of those tiny rat dogs that the stars are carrying around in their purses. I saw a squirrel being carried around in a lady's purse in Toronto - we are a far way from Hollywood. These dogs have it made - they don't have to walk to far, they get to wear fancy clothes and I'm pretty sure they are not eating ground up cow lungs for lunch. Not that I do either - I meant that's whats in dog food. I would also love to have a chance to bite one of these hands that feeds me!

Salad
Continue this sentence: "I get confused when..."

Apparently I live in the state of confusion when I watch T.V. I can't watch any of the James Bond movies because I never know what in the heck is going on. I saw Star Wars when it first came out and was confused the entire time. I don't think I would get it anymore today then I did then. All commercials confuse me - I don't pay enough attention so I'm never sure what they are for and I always ask Cliff what is going on.

Main Course: Name two things that need to be done, but you are procrastinating in completing.

I'll get to this later, after I clean my house.

Dessert: When was the last time you tried something new, and what was it?

I've tried lots of new things. I sang acappella in front of a Worship class (that's a whole separate story), I've gone back to school full time, I preached a sermon for the first time last week...

But the one that sticks out is a few years ago. My step-son was emphatic that I try out one of these little race tracks. I really, really didn't want to do it but he was so disappointed and nagging that I finally gave in. Hated every minute of it. Ooooh, that reminds me of another story about the roller coaster ride....